Challenges-both parents students........

dharma200

Hi, anyone in our position where we are parents and both in full time education... Reality is setting in this week about the sheer effort it takes to simply get to college, and the realities and difficulties we are going to face.

If any couple on boards is in same position would be nice to swap notes and tips and just general venting...

I have heard quite a lot from my fellow students who have no dependants wow how do you do it, you are so focused.... Etc etc.... For me, actually getting to college each day is the biggest challenge I face... So when I am there I try to be 100% motivated because I can't put myself and my family through this without striving for the most success I can achieve... The pressure is immense at the moment as new term starting, kids in school, 6 am starts... I'm not moaning, I love what I am studying and look forward to the year and the future and know I am doing the right thing for me and my family... But I have constant butterfly's in my tummy, organising each morning in my head the day before, the school runs lunches uniforms, my own stuff, the commute... Even now thinking of to,or row morning I am in a slight panic thinking, can I actually pull this off......

Anyway, would be nice to hear from fellow parents who are mature students and share any tips or just vent of things don't go quite to plan each day... X

Agent_99

Hi
I'm a full time student and OH works two darlings one in national school the other in secondary. You just need to get organised, do as much as you can on the domestic front at the week ends, cleaning, uniforms and clothes for the week, meal plan shopping etc. I'm up at 6.45 every morning and get kids fed, lunches made and ready for school. Eldest leaves for the bus at 7.50 youngest get dropped at 9 then off to college. Just get the kids into a routine for the morning as it takes the stress out of the rest of the day. On Sunday I make a stew/casserole early and leave it to cook away in the slow cooker then head into the library for a few hours peace and quite to finish assignments etc back for dinner and a well deserved night in front of the TV. Just started my 4th year so we are experts at it now

dharma200

S it is possible, I am in second year of degree but himself is in first year of his course, tomorrow is the first day we are both operational students eekk.... Three kids, one in high school, one senior infants and one junior... Juggling is right and the slow cooker will be used to the max....
it's just such a shame his course starts at 9am, this means we cannot commute together as the school run and commute into town means can't get there until 9.30am when I start... This is really what is causing me to panic... He has to get brought to a bus, then I have to do the school run the commute... Hopefully it will work out but have to admit I shed a little year when we got his timetable... You have given me hope though... Having panic attacks all week but I know we can do it, just have to get the logistics sorted....

Congrats on fourth year status, it is some achievement, especially when so much is going on in your life at home also... I do look at the you get students who have no responsibility with a little envy, but the. I think because of the responsibility we have to be so much more focused.....

paperclip2

I ended up a single parent a few months after my daughter was born, in the middle of my second year in college so I know how tough being a parent and student can be. Its hellish at times but well worth it. Fair play to you and your partner.
Some of the stuff that helped me:

• Being brutally organised. And learning not to mind about having a messy house for a few years.
• Using the freezer to the maximum by cooking dinners in bulk.
• Getting a really good routine going but dont do what I did for the first year and forget to build in time for some fun.
• Plan what you need in terms of childcare etc well in advance. E.g I used to mind friends kids for free to build up a store of baby sitting 'credit' that I could use for evening projects, group work etc.
• I could procrastinate for Ireland but I learned to embrace the philosophy 'do what you can do now, don't put it off or later it will bite you on the ass bigtime.'
• On Fridays I'd plan my and my daughters clothes for the next week and make sure they were washed and aired by Sunday. (Ironing was optional).
• Budget, budget, budget. Money was tighter than the proverbial ducks bottom so knowing where every penny went was critical. I found that there was nothing more distracting than being worried about money. I also tried to put away a little every week.
• Staying on top of all assignments. Regular revision and making sure I was on good terms with my lecturers. (Invaluable when you need a little extra time on an essay).
• For a few months in my final year I took the plug off the TV.
• Stay healthy. I used to walk most places if I could at all. I did it to save money but it really helped keep me fit and well.

My lassie is 18 now and starting in TCD next week. I know she wouldn't have got there if I hadn't stuck it out back then. Best of luck to you and your partner Dharma. Oh and when things get tough just keep telling yourself that this too shall pass.
:)

dharma200

Thank you for your helpful reply, first day over, a few shocks, one class starts an hour earlier than it did last year making it physically impossible for me to get there and that is withering for kids breakfast club... Am going to chat to lecturer as it seems quite unfair and a lot of the other students are not happy about it... Apart from that feeling a lot better today in regards to managing... I was up at six this morning dog g a run through if I everything, eating the times right , prep, so know now what time I have to get up etc... Thnk it will be a year of early nights for all thanks for the tips , very helpful ( don't own an iron so at least that's one option I don't have to worry about