this is me

LegacyUser

semi cocaine addiction, distinct lack of empathy, selfish, unable to love. Might have loved once but did everything to hurt a beautiful person who was an angel. Unrespected by many, put down a lot. Others bleat about 'potential' which is meaningless. Horrible to brother, indifferent so sisters, rude and unempathatic to father, at times a bully to my mom. Career opportunities going nowhere, lack self confidence. Lazy. Break womens hearts, no clue where life is going. Drain on family. Add nothing useful. how did it go so wrong?

boomchicawawa

I have no idea where it went wrong but there's one positive that I can see and that is that you are aware of where you need to improve. Can you start with one or two on your list and try to improve your attitude/actions. Lots of people are unaware of the negative impact they have on others, at least being aware means you have the power to change things. It doesn't have to be a complete change but if you repair some relationships you may find that everything else starts to move into place. I'd also think seriously about 'giving' instead of taking, ie volunteer some of your time to people who are in situations worse than you and are powerless to change it, you may find that when you focus on others you will less feel sorry for yourself. Good luck and remember your destiny is in your own hands

Leogirl

Hi op

Do you think that if you got help with the semi cocaine addition that you might find answers to and the strength to deal with some of your other problems? The fact that you mention this first above everything else makes me think that maybe you know deep down that this might be the most immediate issue. Perhaps if you sought help & support in this, you might find the strenghth & will to address the others. As the last poster said, the fact that you are aware of your problems is a positive, its a first step.

thegreatgonzo

Wow, you remind me of someone I used to know who I still worry about. I think you should go and get help re the cocaine addiction first up. And you could start building bridges with your family with a simple apology to your mum. The rest you will sort out in time:-)

bedrock#1

I'd agree with the other posters. In my experience drug and alcohol problems are the result of personal problems rather than the cause, but when you're knee deep in your buzz and the downer after it's not easy to see. Take care of that first, it'll make dealing with the problems you can obviously see much easier.

Elmer Blooker

From what I've seen over the years habitual coke users tend to be self centred - the world revolves around me me me individuals, that's why you see yourself as selfish and indifferent to others. It's not the real you.
The first stage on the road to recovery for an addict is admitting to themselves that they have a problem and you've done that. Get help and no matter what anyone tells you around here you will have to do it all on your own. Good luck.

Merkin

Anyone I know who relies on coke is a complete knob. It brings out the very worst in people and merely shines a very bright light on people's character faults, these normally being arrogance, selfishness, aggression and ultimately insecurity.

Have you considered knocking it on the head? You might be surprised by how quickly everything else then falls into place.

gugleguy

Merkin wrote: »

Anyone I know who relies on coke is a complete knob. It brings out the very worst in people and merely shines a very bright light on people's character faults, these normally being arrogance, selfishness, aggression and ultimately insecurity.

Have you considered knocking it on the head? You might be surprised by how quickly everything else then falls into place.

merkin that is indeed a cruel stark and ruthless post but i must go with your assessment 110%.

Queen-Mise

Merkin wrote: »

Anyone I know who relies on coke is a complete knob. It brings out the very worst in people and merely shines a very bright light on people's character faults, these normally being arrogance, selfishness, aggression and ultimately insecurity.

Have you considered knocking it on the head? You might be surprised by how quickly everything else then falls into place.

It may be harsh, unfortunately this is true. Cocaine makes people think they are the most important person on the planet. Have you ever listened to someone on coke talk:eek::eek: And then throw a coke addiction on that (or part anyway).

Get some help. Sort out the coke, and I'd say the rest will fall into shape. Although be careful you don't replace the coke 'addiction' with some other 'addiction'. That would be petrol on a flame now.