How to react to a lie?

MarkyMark22

Hey guys, need some advice.


How do you react to someone blatantly lie to you? Should you confront them about it or just move on?

It's not even that big of a lie, it's just the fact that the person was willing to lie to you or felt the need to lie to you, I guess.

freshpopcorn

It would depend on the lie to be honest. Some people lie because they feel they need to impress you whilst other people would lie to make you that they are better than you.

MeMeJK1

That probably depends on who the person is and what the lie was about. The closer the person is to you and the more serious the deception, the more likely I would say to confront them.

JillyQ

MarkyMark22 wrote: »

Hey guys, need some advice.


How do you react to someone blatantly lie to you? Should you confront them about it or just move on?

It's not even that big of a lie, it's just the fact that the person was willing to lie to you or felt the need to lie to you, I guess.

I feel the same way OP trying to work something similar out myself, but one lie creates a trust issue.

fungun

People lie for different reasons: some are devious, some are more afraid people will judge them.
Id typically confront them, even if it was to show them they didnt need to lie about it.

But its hard to give anything more than general advice with the minimal detail in your post

Legs.Eleven

If it was a white lie and has no major repercussions on your relationship/friendship, I'd forget about it. Everyone lies now and then.

Stavro Mueller

I used to work with a man who told so many lies that people just took everything he said with a grain of salt. When people would pull him up on it, he'd laugh it off like it was some sort of hilarious game.

Without giving us something more specific to go on, I'm not sure any of us can advise you as well as we'd like. In general I don't think lying is a good thing. But then there are shades of grey. Like telling people you're feeling sick when in reality you've got no money to go out with them. Hiding the fact that you've got to get treatment for an embarrassing ailment. Not telling you friends that you're sitting your driving test so that you'll not look like an idiot if you fail. That sort of thing...

mashedbanana

I usually ignore that someone has just told me a lie. I pretend that I didn't hear it. This reaction has a very obvious effect on the person telling the lie. Especially if it's one of those lies where you are expected to say 'WOW, REALLY?' I ignore it, it drives them demented!!!

Sometimes, it does get to me though, cos people must think I have 'fool' written across my forehead!

One of the latest lies told to me, was by a woman that is exceptionally self righteous. We were talking about jobs, work, in particular my husband. She told me, straight out, that her son, can get (brace yourself) up to 300 euro a night. Between, his wages & tips. I looked at my husband, he shook his head. (Our way of telling eachother, don't say anything!) Anyway, I said to her 'That's great, he's doing well for himself' I smiled, and changed the subject. His amazing 300€ night job? delivering... pizza... PART TIME!!!!

Some lies are told to impress, by those insecure with their own situation. Maybe feeling inferior.
some lies are told to 'match' you, by those who are jealous of you.

Best thing to do, is just nod away, & make a mental note of it.

freshpopcorn

mashedbanana wrote: »

I usually ignore that someone has just told me a lie. I pretend that I didn't hear it. This reaction has a very obvious effect on the person telling the lie. Especially if it's one of those lies where you are expected to say 'WOW, REALLY?' I ignore it, it drives them demented!!!

Sometimes, it does get to me though, cos people must think I have 'fool' written across my forehead!

One of the latest lies told to me, was by a woman that is exceptionally self righteous. We were talking about jobs, work, in particular my husband. She told me, straight out, that her son, can get (brace yourself) up to 300 euro a night. Between, his wages & tips. I looked at my husband, he shook his head. (Our way of telling eachother, don't say anything!) Anyway, I said to her 'That's great, he's doing well for himself' I smiled, and changed the subject. His amazing 300€ night job? delivering... pizza... PART TIME!!!!

Some lies are told to impress, by those insecure with their own situation. Maybe feeling inferior.
some lies are told to 'match' you, by those who are jealous of you.

Best thing to do, is just nod away, & make a mental note of it.

My friend in my local town did delivers for the local takeaways last December when the regular guy was on holidays and I was with him on the x-fator final night and he made 454euro I was amazed at it to be honest. So, she might have being telling the truth. So, you and your husband might have being wrong!

It depends on the lie to be honest, If somebody is lying because they can't afford to go somewhere or they have to look after and elderly relative. It might be okay to lie. If somebody was lying because they were in a depressed mood it wouldn't bother me either. Sometimes people lie because hey don't want to hurt other people's feelings as well!

mashedbanana

freshpopcorn wrote: »

My friend in my local town did delivers for the local takeaways last December when the regular guy was on holidays and I was with him on the x-fator final night and he made 454euro I was amazed at it to be honest. So, she might have being telling the truth. So, you and your husband might have being wrong!

It depends on the lie to be honest, If somebody is lying because they can't afford to go somewhere or they have to look after and elderly relative. It might be okay to lie. If somebody was lying because they were in a depressed mood it wouldn't bother me either. Sometimes people lie because hey don't want to hurt other people's feelings as well!

ah but this fella is doing it part time, and we were told he makes this money everynight. Right through the year, Not just Christmas time. So no, not wrong.

Sometimes yes, people tell lies to save other peoples feelings.
First thing that comes to my mind, would be Santa & toothfairy.

freshpopcorn

mashedbanana wrote: »

ah but this fella is doing it part time, and we were told he makes this money everynight. Right through the year, Not just Christmas time. So no, not wrong.

Sometimes yes, people tell lies to save other peoples feelings.
First thing that comes to my mind, would be Santa & toothfairy.

In your first post you said H could get 300 a night, the woman could have being referring to a few nights a year so I am not wrong. She didn't say it was consent thing. I don't want to turn this into a fight but the woman could have said my son can 300 a night. Did she say the particular night? If so the woman wasn't lying. This guy that I know covers for the delivery man and he can often get this amount. So I am not wrong.

mashedbanana

That's the point shur! She told us he was getting it ever night. Winter, summer, all the time. Every week. I'd understand it at Christmas, though. We have noticed her tell lies a lot, more so in recent years.

(btw, never once insinuated that you were wrong, re read the posts maybe)

Taltos

Thread closed.
Can I remind posters here that PI/RI is not a discussion forum. Replies have to be on topic to the issue at hand.
With that in mind OP please have a look at some of the other threads here, providing as little information as you did just resulted in alot of what-if scenarios, none of which we can tell were helpful or not.