Stuck in a rut

LegacyUser

Hi all, I've received some helpful advice here before, so thought I'd tap into your collective wisdom again.

I'd like to start by saying I recognise that this is minor in comparison to other peoples problems.

I'm 24, female, graduated last year from a course that I loved, have been working in a great job in my field for a few months now (although unfortunately only part time). I'm living at home in Dublin, also went to college here in Dublin. My course was a 5 year course, during that time I did a bit of travelling, spent a semester abroad, holding down crappy part time jobs in between to fund travels etc.

I've had my issues over the years, but in the past few years have been fairly happy. I have a ton of really great friends, and a few who I can talk to about absolutely everything. I have a great family and as I mentioned, a great job. But lately I'm just not happy. I know that a part of this is due to not being in a relationship, or having any hint of a love life at the moment. But the rest of it is itchy feet. While I recognise I'm incredibly lucky to have a good job that's going to do me so many favours in my future career - I feel stuck. I've lived in Dublin my whole life, with the exception of the few months I've spent abroad here and there. Financially right now I can't afford to leave - I'm paying off student loans and would not be this well paid abroad, and naturally I pay a reduced rent living at home. But I'm bored.

As I said, I only work part time - I have 3 full days off a week and it's too much. In college I had a very full college week, plus I worked weekends, and went out with different friends a few nights a week. On the occasional day off I was hungover and glad to sit around for a day. Now, 2 of the 3 days I'm off I get very low. I exercise alot - go to the gym several times a week, I've taken up running and am training for a big race, and I do a ton of walking. I have plenty of friends and will see some of them on my days off, but alot of them are no longer in Dublin. I've investigated team sports, but struggle to find something that I could do from a beginner level. And I feel like it wouldn't be enough.

I'm just so fed up. I used to love going out partying in Dublin, every night was the 'best night ever' and the hangover the next day was so worth it. Now, most nights are average at best, and the expense, hangover and effect on my weight just don't seem worth it. Alot of my friends feel the same way, but for various reasons they don't seem to be as down about it. We've all stopped going out as much, (choosing to get together/cinema trips/coffee etc. instead) which I'm mostly happy about - but then I feel down thinking that I'm unlikely to meet anyone if I'm not getting out.

I feel like I just need a good shake. I KNOW I should just be living in the moment, enjoying my down time, and seeing this as biding my time so that I can do what I want to in the future. I know plenty of people are being forced out of the country due to lack of work, and for the time being I have what is fairly close to my dream job. I'm hopeful to be in a position to move away next summer when my contract is up...but that seems awfully far away. I was due to move to the UK earlier this year, before I got this job, and I guess a small part of me was disappointed not to have an excuse to go.

I've been considering online dating...purely as something to shake things up a bit and meet some new people - if only to have a few stories to tell. But I'm not sure if that'll help, and I'll be honest and say I'd be a bit embarrassed signing up for it, although I think only positive things about people who are proactive enough to sign up for it.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Has anyone felt like this? Is it just part of getting old? I realise this may seem like a non issue, but I'm very down at the moment. I've had my problems in the past and as a result I'm extremely reluctant to ignore bad feelings in case they develop further.

Thanks a mill for your time, it's beneficial just to put a shape on my thoughts I think!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Firstly, 24 is not "old"!!

I've been through the whole partying thing and then turned around and suddenly realised: hey, this isn't fun any more and certainly not worth the 100 euro I wasted on it last night. I emigrated (three times ) but then my situation was probably a bit different to yours: on the one had, I had no career and no qualifications; on the other I had no commitments and no debts to pay off.

I realised that for me, Dublin - while a nice and friendly city - is very limited in terms of variety. Especially where nightlife is concerned.

My suggestion would be this: if you can fund it, see if you could negotiate some extended time off. Even unpaid. Try living abroad for a month or six weeks, see it as an adventure and go back to your old job. Doesn't have to be far: any European city would do. You'll see more and meet more different people.

Lux23

This happened to me when I finished college and settled into a work routine. I will be honest, this sort of emptiness was a result of wanting to be in a relationship. From 21 to 25, I was determined to be miserable and I lost lots of friend in the process, but something changed when I was about 25 and I started to stop caring about having a relationship and just decided to have fun. I found if I didn't get my hopes about a night out or whatever that I generally enjoyed myself. I'm in a very happy relationship now, but I was single for all of my twenties but it was fun.

I would recommend travelling, I didn't bother with it and I regret that now. So if you want to travel, save a few quid and head off!