Parents acting as a Mental block to me ..... Help !!

Royaler95

Well im only after finishing the leaving cert and and i was offered to study architecture in Waterford , which is a long way from my hometown in Co.Meath ....

I was dead certain on going down but ny parents basically laugh at me and say i dont have enough money , they prevent me on going out with my friends to nights out because my father has some unneccesary grudge to the village theyre from and automatically assumes they are ar**holes , and are complaining to get up off my hole and do something , truth being told what can a teenager do straight out of school in these times , theres literally nothing
Ive been offered the chance to do something but now the offer is expired to go there .....

I want to go next year now but they are in the way , i said dont even talk about money , i will sort it out now im stuck doing the odd bit of plastering for my dad , did it over the summer with him 5 days a week for 10 weeks only for him to turn around last week and hand me 100 euro for complete torturing labour ? it sickens me and i threw it back and ran upstairs and just burst into tears and im not naturally a person who would do that , i know he would be struggling too but come on ?!

Im just really contemplating on life now and im sorry for the big commentary :P but now im depressed with all my friends in college now (UCD) while im just depressed .... what can i do ? i cant move out its not an option , but im now an adult i can do what i like ?
Just please ANY HELP or guidance would be great !!! Thank You

(P.S im writing this on a saturday while i planned to go out one last night with lads before they move for college , minding my little brother and sister while my parents are at a 40th birthday party in the pub ; straight after coming home from a wedding last night......)

Manco

I think you need to move out OP, though I know that's easier said than done with the job market the way it is. Your parents should be supporting you, not belittling and stifling you.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Royaler95 wrote: »

Well im only after finishing the leaving cert and and i was offered to study architecture in Waterford , which is a long way from my hometown in Co.Meath ....

I was dead certain on going down but ny parents basically laugh at me and say i dont have enough money , they prevent me on going out with my friends to nights out because my father has some unneccesary grudge to the village theyre from and automatically assumes they are ar**holes , and are complaining to get up off my hole and do something , truth being told what can a teenager do straight out of school in these times , theres literally nothing
Ive been offered the chance to do something but now the offer is expired to go there .....

I want to go next year now but they are in the way , i said dont even talk about money , i will sort it out now im stuck doing the odd bit of plastering for my dad , did it over the summer with him 5 days a week for 10 weeks only for him to turn around last week and hand me 100 euro for complete torturing labour ? it sickens me and i threw it back and ran upstairs and just burst into tears and im not naturally a person who would do that , i know he would be struggling too but come on ?!

Im just really contemplating on life now and im sorry for the big commentary :P but now im depressed with all my friends in college now (UCD) while im just depressed .... what can i do ? i cant move out its not an option , but im now an adult i can do what i like ?
Just please ANY HELP or guidance would be great !!! Thank You

(P.S im writing this on a saturday while i planned to go out one last night with lads before they move for college , minding my little brother and sister while my parents are at a 40th birthday party in the pub ; straight after coming home from a wedding last night......)

Sounds like part of the reason for you not having enough money is that they aren't paying you for work they would normally have to hire someone else to do.

That said, it is quite reasonable to sit your parents down and say to them that, while you are living under their roof and accept their rules and their ways, you are also an adult and deserve to be treated as such. At the moment, yoou don;t feel that respect. If they can't give it, then be honest: you only need a certain amount of time before you can move out - can there at least be an agreement on that?

Of course, at that point, it'll cost them money too: having to hire people to do the work you normally do for free...

Czarcasm

Royaler95 wrote: »

Im just really contemplating on life now and im sorry for the big commentary :P but now im depressed with all my friends in college now (UCD) while im just depressed .... what can i do ? i cant move out its not an option , but im now an adult i can do what i like ?
Just please ANY HELP or guidance would be great !!! Thank You

First thing you can do OP is stop looking at what everyone else is doing, and focus on what YOU want to do with your life and what you need to do to achieve that.

You're probably not going to like it pointed out to you but you seem to have done no practical preparation for a third level education whatsoever. Perhaps your parents are doing you a favor and you don't realise it. They may be thinking you have a lot more growing up to do before you go to college.

You may see a third level education as a rite of passage, but it's far, far more than that, and it's tough, I mean REALLY tough. If you're not prepared for it, you'll be one of the Christmas semester dropouts, or even worse you'll struggle on and flap about and waste the whole first year before realising that you can't face second year.

If you're storming off upstairs in a tizzy and throwing tantrums at 18 years of age for what you see as your parents stopping you going to college, and you don't want to move out and live independently and apply for a place in college on your own merit and have a plan in place to finance yourself, then perhaps for your own sake your parents were actually doing you a favor. You're not ready for college yet.