Disagreement on how to split our will

LegacyUser

Myself & my wife are about to make a will, and are having a disagreement on how to split it between our respective families.

We have 2 young kids, so needless to say it'll all be split between them if we both die. But if all 4 of us were to perish in an accident, that's where we're having the disagreement on how to split it.

The problem: she has 4 siblings and I have 1.

My view is that my 50% of our assets should go to my side of the family (i.e. to my sister), and her 50% of our assets to hers (i.e. split her 4 siblings).

She sees things differently though, and thinks that it should be split an even 5 ways; 20% to each of our combined siblings (i.e. 20% to my sister, and 20% each to her 4 siblings).

The way I see it, is that 80% of our assets would be going to her family if the case arose. But I think it should be 50% to my side, and 50% to her side, and the fact that she has to split her 50% 4 ways is not my concern (without wanting to sound harsh).

What's your opinion on it?

Thanks in advance.

Chattastrophe!

I'd be in agreement with you; 50 percent to each side of the family seems absolutely fair.

Yellow121

20% for everyone.

December2012

In all honesty, you will be dead and it won't matter to you.

I personally would go with your suggestion, because I think that makes more sense.

Like, what happens if your sister has six kids then, and your in laws have no kids?

So then your sister has more dependents from a smaller pool of funds.

That's why I think that a partnership (such as you have when you're married), should be divided in half and then the rest of the chips fall where they may.

But your wife obviously disagrees.

It is highly unlikely that it will happen, so don't fall out with your wife over it.

dudara

To me, what you and your wife have is held equally by both of you, and therefore should be split equally to either side. i.e. 50% either way.

TheChizler

I would have always thought marriage was the union of two families, to a point. I would treat all in-laws equally, regardless of which side of the family they're on.

Big Bag of Chips

dudara wrote: »

To me, what you and your wife have is held equally by both of you, and therefore should be split equally to either side. i.e. 50% either way.

I'd agree with this. Basically your estate should be split 50/50, and you both individually decide what to do with your 50%.

Your siblings wouldn't be expecting anything from your estate, so anything they'd get would be a "bonus" (excuse the vulgarity of that phrase when talking about inheritance)

In our case my husband has a daughter from a previous relationship, and we have 3 kids together. So on the occassion of our death, my portion (50%) would be spilt between our 3 kids, while his 50% would be split between 4.

3DataModem

Go with your wife's wishes, as it is so extremely unlikely to happen between now and the time your kids have spouses / kids that its really not worth causing any friction. Also it's not important from a dependant-protection perspective.

jimmycrackcorm

I agree with the previous post. The odds of all four of you dying together are so small that it's a pointless argument.

Also you are statistically going to be gone first which makes it even more so against your wishes.

deisemum

I'd be inclined to split it equally between the next of kin if it was important that family were left something.

Personally I'd leave it to a charity to avoid such rows.

The_Conductor

deisemum wrote: »

Personally I'd leave it to a charity to avoid such rows.

+1 to this

Hospice, Simon, SVdeP and many others- are really good charities who actively help people in our communities and who desperately need any support they can get.

The norm is each person leaves everything to the other- and in the event of both dying- to any children, and in the event of the unfortunate and the children not surviving- the estate is cleared, and small amounts or gifts bequeathed to family members- the estate would only rarely be divided up- normally you'd leave the bulk of it to charities.

Some people have some expectation that if their brother/sister/uncle/aunt/cousin (etc) die that they're in for a mad payday. This is nonsense of the highest order- its your will, you can decide on what your estate is for- personally I'd take care of my children first and foremost- thereafter, I have a few charities I'd like to support. Extended family- forget it.

1979Bob

50% for each spouse to give to who they want.
I saw a will where they, both husband and wife (no children), had it so that half of the estate went to her family and half to his family. This was even though the husband outlived his wife by a good few years. It had obviously been agreed to by both when alive. I even learned a new word from that, moiety means half.
What does your solicitor advise? I cant imagine this would be the first time they would have come across this.

seamus

Both scenarios have merit tbh. The argument that all in-laws are equal is a valid one as is the argument that each spouse should distribute their 50%.

However, since you'll be dead and won't give a ****, really you need to consider what is most likely to have a negative outcome. If you go the 50:50 split, then chances are everyone is happy because it's a nice even logical divide between families.

If you go the 80:20 split, there's a good chance that your family will feel aggrieved that the other family has been favoured for no reason other than the fact that they have greater numbers.

So while both routes have merit, I think 50:50 is the one which is least likely to cause friction and hurt. And if you've all just died tragically, the last thing you need to be doing is causing more hurt

desbrook

First of all the " you'll be dead anyway " stuff is rubbish. Of course you will but thats why you make wills! ! It's peace of mind and if you dont like whats going to happen then you don't have any.

The way I see it 50% is yours and 50% is your wife's. If you want to leave 50% to boards.ie then you should be able to. She should respect this- your right to deal with your 50%.
Having said all that the law will distribute the money 20% each way if you all died without a will . So if you want something different you have to make an effort . I'd look into the possibility of making a will by yourself after this one is made.

I trust you are making a "Mirror Will " with your wife .

http://www.irishwills.ie/wills/joint_wills.html

A mirror will is a last will & testament in which a testator makes a will which has provisions almost identical to that or their spouse or partner’s last will. In many cases, these types of last will provide that all the testator’s assets will be left to the other spouse or partner if the testator dies first, and if both spouses or partners die together then to named beneficiaries. Apart from the fact that the wills of each spouse or partner are almost identical, each mirror will is made by the spouses/partners on separate documents and can be revoked by the spouse/partner making it at any time without the knowledge or consent of their spouse or partner.

The last sentence may be of interest to you

CaraMay

50/50 for sure

50:50.

Anything that belongs to one of you is that person's to do with what they please, but joint funds are just that, joined between the two of you, so on passing it would need to be divided so that both your wishes be fulfilled.

You're not obligated to leave your money to family. The money isn't being left to siblings because it has to be, it's being left to siblings because they're the people you each chose to inherit your money. You've chosen one person, she has chosen four, so it stands to reason that the proportions would not be equal. For every person she chooses, she is also choosing to reduce their proportion of the fund.

How so Joe

desbrook wrote: »

First of all the " you'll be dead anyway " stuff is rubbish. Of course you will but thats why you make wills! ! It's peace of mind and if you dont like whats going to happen then you don't have any.

The way I see it 50% is yours and 50% is your wife's. If you want to leave 50% to boards.ie then you should be able to. She should respect this- your right to deal with your 50%.
Having said all that the law will distribute the money 20% each way if you all died without a will . So if you want something different you have to make an effort . I'd look into the possibility of making a will by yourself after this one is made.

I trust you are making a "Mirror Will " with your wife .

http://www.irishwills.ie/wills/joint_wills.html

A mirror will is a last will & testament in which a testator makes a will which has provisions almost identical to that or their spouse or partner’s last will. In many cases, these types of last will provide that all the testator’s assets will be left to the other spouse or partner if the testator dies first, and if both spouses or partners die together then to named beneficiaries. Apart from the fact that the wills of each spouse or partner are almost identical, each mirror will is made by the spouses/partners on separate documents and can be revoked by the spouse/partner making it at any time without the knowledge or consent of their spouse or partner.

The last sentence may be of interest to you

I actually disagree with you on how it would be distributed if they were both to die instestate.
As far as I can see (and I looked this up out of boredom the other day) it would be a 50/50 split between his and her relations, not split five ways equally.

I'm basing that on s.68 of the civil law (miscellaneous provisions) act 2008.

As for your dilemma as a whole, well, both arguments have merit, and a case could be made for either of them.
Personally, I'd be in favour of each deciding what to do with 50% of your assets, but the point is not which scenario is better, but rather how you work out how you're going to solve it.