Finding Privacy

LegacyUser

I was hoping someone could help me with a problem I've been noticing lately. I'm a 24 year old man and have recently started meeting and dating guys. I would get on with a guy great and would maybe like to give him a kiss or something, but find that I can't do it anywhere.

Personally I rarely if ever see two guys kissing in public. I live in Dublin and find it is really awkward when you're in a pub, the date is going well and you want to kiss the guy. You pretty much have to find the darkest most isolated areas in fear of being seen. It gets frustrating seeing a straight couple making out in the corner of a pub, no one batting an eye, but if it was two gay guys, completely different story.

I'm guessing people will suggest not worrying about what other people think, but it's hard not to, especially if the guy I'm dating is in the closet.

Another related problem is if I want to take things further. I share a house with a few other people that don't know I'm gay. Occasionaly I'd want to bring a guy home but then realise I can't in fear that a housemate will hear us. If I lived with people I knew well I'm sure they'd understand, but living with strangers, it is very difficult to do.

I'm kinda new to all this so I was hoping I could get some insight from you all. So how do you manage the more intimate parts of dating? Thanks.

Pai Mei

Maybe if either of you had a car ye could just drive somewhere secluded if ye wanted privacy. Other than that I'm stumped as I've never been in a similar situation

Billiethepup

How about a Gay-friendly pub?! FLounge, Dragon, Panti, Noname bar (opposite Market Bar), plenty of off-scene bars are now gay friendly in Dublin.

TBH ive never had an issue having a same-sex snog anywhere in Dublin but I completely get that lots of peeps may not be comfortable.

LegacyUser

Billiethepup wrote: »

How about a Gay-friendly pub?! FLounge, Dragon, Panti, Noname bar (opposite Market Bar), plenty of off-scene bars are now gay friendly in Dublin.

TBH ive never had an issue having a same-sex snog anywhere in Dublin but I completely get that lots of peeps may not be comfortable.

Firstly, I had no idea the no name bar was a gay friendly place. I've been going there for years!

Secondly, I wouldn't really be into gay bars as such nor would the guys I usally date. I guess you can't have it both ways

And with regards to the comment about driving somewhere secluded, it's not exactly the most practical thing! Plus, you'd have to drive a good bit away to avoid prying eyes!

It may not be possible to find a real solution to my problem without having people around me, for example my housemates, being accepting and not disturbed by the whole thing.

I am just really curious how most gay guys do it, beyond gay bars and living alone!

computer44

As a gay girl, take it easy, in that you probably need a place of your own.

I would not be bringing my date back to a shared house even if I was straight.

There would be gossip around the brekkie table in the morning.

Try and get your own place and you can call the rules.

Regards

floggg

To be blunt, you can't have it both ways.

Even apart from gay bars you'll have to accept that as long as you want to remain closeted or "discrete" their will be limitations on what you can and can't do - unless you get you're own place which will be expensive.

If you want a bit more flexibility, you're going to have consider coming out to your housemates (or moving sonewhere else) and/or frequenting gay bars. There's limits to what you can do in a gay bar though.