God Told Me To Do It

Kettleson

Tonight, God talked to me and told me to resign my job. Shortly prior to that God told me to have a few beers. I try to comply with Gods command whenever I can, but I am not so sure that I can follow his direction to hand in my notice at work.

Has God ever spoken to you and you have ignored his command? And did you regret it?

Motopepe

Are you sure that it was a command? It might have been a suggestion like, 'sure why don't you have a few beers?'.

Artful_Badger

Are you sure it was god and not just some old weirdo that followed ya home ?

Peregrine

Kettleson wrote: »

Has God ever spoken to you?

No.


But then again, neither did Aslan or any of the other stories my mother used to read to me.

Motopepe

Seriously though, what is gods voice like? Does he sound like Morgan Freeman?

dodderangler

Kettleson wrote: »

Tonight, God talked to me and told me to resign my job. Shortly prior to that God told me to have a few beers. I try to comply with Gods command whenever I can, but I am not so sure that I can follow his direction to hand in my notice at work.

Has God ever spoken to you and you have ignored his command? And did you regret it?

Told me to burn down the school.
Gods on a mad one tonight

Corvo Attano

He did once. Go me to gather two of every animal cause a big flood was coming.

Said "This is Ireland. Whats new?"

*Ba Dum Tiss*

Awful_Bliss

God sent me to audition for a saxophonist in The Commitments. I duly obliged.

NegativeCreep

"Burn it to the ground."

TheLastMohican

How can you hand in your notice if you don't work? Pics of work or GTFO

Kettleson

NegativeCreep wrote: »

"Burn it to the ground."

I hear you Lord, I hear you.

"so light a big fire and let the flame burn, open the door let NC return".

Artful_Badger

TheLastMohican wrote: »

How can you hand in your notice if you don't work? Pics of work or GTFO

Yeah come on OP show us yer job. I bet its a right handy little number with flexible hours and plenty of benefits.

Boombastic

Corvo Attano wrote: »

He did once. Go me to gather two of every animal cause a big flood was coming.

Said "This is Ireland. Whats new?"

*Ba Dum Tiss*

Twas a grand soft day and all

Kettleson

TheLastMohican wrote: »

How can you hand in your notice if you don't work? Pics of work or GTFO

Get behind me Satan. Pics are banned in Gods house.

MadsL

I'll just leave this here seems absurdly appropriate:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKpQRjj_WbU

everyones god

Henceforth I shall not speak directly to my people. I will communicate via internet fora. Thou shalt not register my name elsewhere under false pretenses.

zenno

Kettleson wrote: »

Tonight, God talked to me and told me to resign my job. Shortly prior to that God told me to have a few beers. I try to comply with Gods command whenever I can, but I am not so sure that I can follow his direction to hand in my notice at work.

Has God ever spoken to you and you have ignored his command? And did you regret it?

Well not God, but i did hear Lucifer talk to me one night. He asked me could i do something for him and i said what do you want me to do, and he then said, i can't tell you unless you turn your bedroom light on, so i said ok.

I turned on the light and the light blew and went dark again and he just said feck it, i'll talk to you some other time ? haven't heard from him since.

Boombastic

everyones god wrote: »

Henceforth I shall not speak directly to my people. I will communicate via internet fora. Thou shalt not register my name elsewhere under false pretenses.

You may speak but will they listen?

Frito

Motopepe wrote: »

Seriously though, what is gods voice like? Does he sound like Morgan Freeman?

Perhaps that question can't be answered. All we really know is God didn't think much of Andy the first time he saw him either.

southcentralts

OP, This is GOD speaking, while handing in your resignation, I command that you punch your boss too.

Also, get me a beer.

Kettleson

everyones god wrote: »

Henceforth I shall not speak directly to my people. I will communicate via internet fora. Thou shalt not register my name elsewhere under false pretenses.

You de false god. You have followers in sheepskin cloth. " You In De Wolf Skin " now available as MP3 download. B/W "Corinthians 4: 25" with all proceeds going Gods charity to do the Lords good work.

Insect Overlord

Awful_Bliss wrote: »

God sent me to audition for a saxophonist in The Commitments. I duly obliged.

Which reminds me, Joey The Lips hasn't posted in AH for ages!

RustyNut

Kettleson wrote: »

Tonight, God talked to me and told me to resign my job. Shortly prior to that God told me to have a few beers. I try to comply with Gods command whenever I can, but I am not so sure that I can follow his direction to hand in my notice at work.

Has God ever spoken to you and you have ignored his command? And did you regret it?

Is that you Benedict ?

Elbaston

Yeah but were they non-alcoholic beers he commanded you to drink ?

Kettleson

RustyNut wrote: »

Is that you Benedict ?

Ab imo pectore,! It is I lord!

Sinfonia

Motopepe wrote: »

Seriously though, what is gods voice like? Does he sound like Morgan Freeman?

They should have used that line in The Newsroom when a similar discussion came up. Aaron Sorkin should kick 'imself.

kfk

God just told that there should be a job opening for me very shortly!

--Kaiser--

I have nothing silly to contribute to this thread so here's a quote I was reminded of

"God speaks in the least of creatures. No man is give leave of that voice.”
The kid spat into the fire and bent to his work. He said:
“I ain’t heard no voice.”
“When it stops,” said Tobin, “you’ll know you’ve heard it all your life. At night, when the horses are grazing and the company is asleep, who hears the grazing?”
“Don’t nobody hear them if they’re asleep,” said the kid.
“Aye. And if they cease their grazing who is it that wakes?”
“Every man,” said the kid.
“Aye,” replied Tobin. “Every man.”

RustyNut

God said suffer little children to come to me so every time I see a kid it's a good kick up the hole or a clip round the ear, just to get them closer god and salvation.

MissD93

He spoke do this lad i know Pat, do you what he said to the snakes when he was driving them out of ireland : are ya alrite back der lads

Kettleson

MissD93 wrote: »

He spoke do this lad i know Pat, do you what he said to the snakes when he was driving them out of ireland : are ya alrite back der lads

10 decades of for you MissD93. :mad::mad::mad::mad::D:D