Drinking problem

LegacyUser

Hi,
I kinda know the answer everyone is going to give me but i think i need cold hard facts from someone else.
I drink, a lot. I could have 7-8 cans of beer a night, 6 days a week, sometimes 10-12 at weekend. Im 25, have a good life but if i have a tenner, my last tenner in my pocket, it goes on cans of beer.
Im not aggressive with drink at all, im not lovey dovey stupid, i just enjoy my few cans in the evening. Its not causing a problem with anyone, have good fiance. She has mentioned it a lot before but now seems to just accept it. Probably because i dont listen, or stop for a day and then i have some excuse about a 'match' on telly or something.
I know i have a problem, but im afraid to go to AA, as i dont want to quit drinking full stop.
I dont really know what im looking for here, but its just been bothering me lately. I said that even though i bought 8 cans this evening whils i know i shouldnt.
Is this a problem? How much damage is 8 cans a day doing me.
I rarely drink infront of my 3 year old, but she knows what 'dirty beer' is.
As i said im no harm to anyone with drink on me, i just wanted to get this out as im afraid to say it to her.
I dont even know why im saying this online, im not sure it will help, i just needed to say it.

cassid

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/i-didn-t-have-a-drink-problem-but-i-had-a-problem-with-the-way-i-was-drinking-1.1416905?page=1

Have a read of this article, although its about a woman, you may be able to relate to it.

You are drinking your weekly units in two/three days. Your are only young, you can change this habit.

Don't be afraid to reach out and talk to someone, even a gp, most people have some issues and there is great support if you really want to change your drinking.

Best of luck and I hope it works for you x






How many units can I drink?





Recommended daily safe limit

Recommended weekly safe limit


Men maximum 3-4 units a day no more than 21 units per week
Women maximum 2-3 units a day no more than 14 units per week

Exceptions
If you are pregnant, it is recommended that you do not drink alcohol until after the birth of your baby.
There are times when you will be at risk after drinking alcohol, so always avoid drinking alcohol before driving, exercising or operating machinery.

Are you drinking too much too often?

So, how can someone decide if they (or someone else) are drinking too much too often?

Firstly, work out how many units are being drunk.
Different types of drinks contain different strengths of alcohol, so some will have more units than others.
You can calculate the amount of alcohol in any drink if you know the quantity of liquid and the percentage of alcohol it contains.

We know you are not likely to remember a formula when you are having a drink, so we have given you a guide to the number of units contained in some popular drinks – see the table below.

A guide to the number of units in some popular drinks



Type of drink

Units


Pint or can of normal strength lager (Harp, Carling, Boddingtons etc) 2 units
Pint or can of strong lager (Stella, Red Stripe, Corona, Kronenberg etc) 3 units
Bottle of lager (Budweizer, etc) 2 units
1 litre bottle of normal strength cider (Stongbow, Woodpecker etc) 4.5 units
1 litre bottle of strong cider (White Lightening etc) 8 units
1 bottle of alcopop ( Bacardi Breezer, WKD, Smirnoff Ice etc) 2 units
75cl bottle of Sherry (QC, Harveys Bristol Cream) 26 units
75cl bottle of Port 15 units
75cl bottle of wine (wine comes in different strengths, check the label) 7-9 units
Large glass of wine in a pub 3 units
Standard size bottle of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 26–28 units
1 litre bottle of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 40 units
A single pub measure of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 1 units

popa smurf

Iknow its wrong wrote: »

Hi,
I kinda know the answer everyone is going to give me but i think i need cold hard facts from someone else.
I drink, a lot. I could have 7-8 cans of beer a night, 6 days a week, sometimes 10-12 at weekend. Im 25, have a good life but if i have a tenner, my last tenner in my pocket, it goes on cans of beer.
Im not aggressive with drink at all, im not lovey dovey stupid, i just enjoy my few cans in the evening. Its not causing a problem with anyone, have good fiance. She has mentioned it a lot before but now seems to just accept it. Probably because i dont listen, or stop for a day and then i have some excuse about a 'match' on telly or something.
I know i have a problem, but im afraid to go to AA, as i dont want to quit drinking full stop.
I dont really know what im looking for here, but its just been bothering me lately. I said that even though i bought 8 cans this evening whils i know i shouldnt.
Is this a problem? How much damage is 8 cans a day doing me.
I rarely drink infront of my 3 year old, but she knows what 'dirty beer' is.
As i said im no harm to anyone with drink on me, i just wanted to get this out as im afraid to say it to her.
I dont even know why im saying this online, im not sure it will help, i just needed to say it.

8 cans a night wont cause you any bother now but it will as you get older I enjoy a few beers as well mostly at weekends. You could try taking a few nights with out it maybe Mon, Tues, thurs, and see how you get on try doing other things them nights, cinema, go for a long walk or something, Treat yourself to a few cans midweek and week end you will enjoy them better. and Dont be two hard on yourself, you still have your girlfriend and the little one.

gg2

Iknow its wrong wrote: »

Hi,
I kinda know the answer everyone is going to give me but i think i need cold hard facts from someone else.
I drink, a lot. I could have 7-8 cans of beer a night, 6 days a week, sometimes 10-12 at weekend. Im 25, have a good life but if i have a tenner, my last tenner in my pocket, it goes on cans of beer.
Im not aggressive with drink at all, im not lovey dovey stupid, i just enjoy my few cans in the evening. Its not causing a problem with anyone, have good fiance. She has mentioned it a lot before but now seems to just accept it. Probably because i dont listen, or stop for a day and then i have some excuse about a 'match' on telly or something.
I know i have a problem, but im afraid to go to AA, as i dont want to quit drinking full stop.
I dont really know what im looking for here, but its just been bothering me lately. I said that even though i bought 8 cans this evening whils i know i shouldnt.
Is this a problem? How much damage is 8 cans a day doing me.
I rarely drink infront of my 3 year old, but she knows what 'dirty beer' is.
As i said im no harm to anyone with drink on me, i just wanted to get this out as im afraid to say it to her.
I dont even know why im saying this online, im not sure it will help, i just needed to say it.

Fair play to you for posting this, at least your trying to figure out whats going on.
I would urge you to talk to your other half about this, if she has already noticed it she will probably be relieved that you are now acknowledging it. Plus there's no truer saying than a problem shared in a problem halved.... Very best of luck to you

LegacyUser

Your drinking far more that the safe limit per week as a man.
Do you have any idea how much units you are drinking each week?
If you are drinking 8 cans of beer a night Monday to Friday = 40 cans + 10 on Sat + 6 Sunday = 56 cans ( 1 can bud = 3 units so 7 cans = 21 units) You are drinking over 8 times the healthy amount for a man each week.

You have also told us that you would spend the last €10 you have on beer despite having a fiance and child. How would you feel in 12 months time if your fiance and child were gone due to your drinking and your lack of money to get married/ buy a home or to support them?

Do you have any idea how much you are spending each week on drink?
8 cans of miller are on sale for €14 in Tesco
56 cans of miller cost €14 x 7 = €98 a week which is €98 x 52 = €5096 a year.
This money could help pay for your wedding, buy a home ect.

I would advise you to stop drinking and to go to AA because from what you have told us I think you have a problem.
You need to consider your health, the amount of money your spending on beer along with your fiance and child.
I know your fiance has mentioned this to your before but if any of my friends told me the amount you were drinking I would tell them don't stay with him as the drink will come first.

I know a man near me who died in his mid 40's due to drink. Before this he lost his wife and children as she could not put up with his drinking so she moved out. He lost his driving licence due to being a drunk driver. When he died he was yellow.
Also if you are drinking this amount you are still over the limit when you are driving to work the next day. What would happen to you if you were involved in a accident or were driving the car which killed someone?
You may think your fine in work but I am sure your employer has noticed that your work is not as good as it once was. If you are going in to work each day smelling of drink and causing problems in work it will only be a matter of time before your fired.

I think you know that you have a problem but I would advise you to get help now so you can prevent any drink related problems from ruining your life.

username123

Yeah, you sound like my Dad in his 20s. He died yellow, screaming, weighing under 8 stone, with a doctors estimate of his age in his 70s, when he was only in his 50s.

He had no friends, every family member was estranged from him, he had brain damage from the alcohol, he was really just a barely living zombie who would stab his children to get to more booze.

He destroyed the life of everyone around him and brought pure misery to anyone who ever held any love for him. By the time he died I was delighted he was dead, as he was nothing but a disgusting animalistic drunk who caused trouble all round him.

He thought he was no bother to anyone when he was drunk either. The fact is, the drinking affects everyone around you. Your child is already exposed and there has been damage done as a result of it (Your child knows dirty beer? Already?). Your fiancé has given up begging you to stop so clearly it does bother her but she doesn't want her life just to be nagging you.

You need to ask why you need to do this. You have a big problem. There is a lot of help out there but unless you figure out why you do it, and change that, you will keep going back.

I hope you manage to save yourself from the hell I detail above. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Systemic Risk

Dude thats a huge amount of alcohol every week. What you have said reeks of dependency on alcohol. Please try cut it down to a few (3-4) cans once or twice during the week and maybe you could have your 8 one night at the weekend. If you do this you will still be over the safe limit but at least 4 days a week your liver will get a break.

Join a gym and lift weights a few days a week. With what you saving on beer by just cutting down you will be well able to afford membership. Once you start to see results in your body shape you wont want to put as much **** into your system.

If you make a serious effort to cut down your drinking to the levels i suggest but find you are unable then i would say you already have a serious problem. Its only a matter of time before you start needing that drink during the day to get you through until the eve. Its then a slippery slope to the horrible, tragic situation described by username123.

dr ro

I used to think like you, that I'd hate to be an alcoholic cause I loved drinking so much that I'd have to stop altogether if I was an alco. I didn't drink as much as you are though, but I was drinking every night. I cut back, like someone already posted, I stopped drinking early midweek nights. Then cut out drinking beer at home altogether. And now I'd only have a couple of glasses of wine 1 maybe 2 nights at the weekend.
Your partner must be thinking you are a hopeless case already if she has stopped being on your case. are you? Can you stop/cut down? Are you over weight? Drinking that much is a lot of calories but you are young. If you were exercising you'd feel less like drinking, in my experience. Maybe you're not an alcoholic, maybe you don't need AA. Try cut down, you sound like you've a lot to lose.

Merkin

It would be potentially dangerous to just stop off your own volition because you have a drink problem and are consuming over eight times the weekly alcohol allowance. Your first port of call should be your GP who will be able to discuss your options with you, be its home detox programme or it may just be a case of taking prescribed anti anxiety medication to get you over the first couple of weeks. You're an alcoholic and this is ALREADY effecting your partner and little girl more than you realise. Why? Because your brain is addled by booze, you couldn't possibly have any clarity of thought when either a. Permanently sozzled or b. hungover and dying for another one.

Username123's post is a candid and glaringly honest account of what this leads to so you'd do we'll to take it on board and seek help immediately.

LegacyUser

Hi guys,
Havnt got the time to reply to everyone at the moment but will try to later.
Ill just answer a few quick things.
No im not overweight, have a healthy BMI as i walk a nice bit and do a lot of outdoorsy stuff.
When i said my last tenner on booze, i didnt mean that if OH or Child needed something they would go without, they wouldnt as i could stop for that. What i meant was, i would spend it on beer instead of saving it etc.
Often on nights when i dont have a drink at all, it dosnt bother me, in the slightest, but the next night il have some. I hoping thats a sign that im not to dependant on it.
Thanks for the cold hard facts guys. And to the all the reassuring replies.
From today i am going to try make a start. The idea of going out and doing something in the evening is a good one. Ill start with that.
Thanks guys

Mayboy

Hi,

I believe you have a drink problem without a doubt, I think you are dependent on alcohol as evidenced by your daily consumption of it, in large amounts.
I recognise the 'positioning' of your argument also - it's called minimization.
I think you know you have an issue but I also think you are great to have recognised this and to be questioning it.
Please don't let your kid grow up in this environment - it is so damaging - you don't have to be constantly drunk to be dependent or an alcoholic.
I have a friend who has progressed past this stage now - about to lose everything, drinking each day, at home, tears streaming down his face, unable to do anything.......he also thinks it's 'not so often' ..'only a few' etc....

I would seek help fast - you've recognised the issue. You will have to stop drinking, not cut back, stop until you realise how much damage you are doing. AA meetings are your first step. Good luck.

MissFlitworth

If you drink 8 cans a night you are never sober. You may not be drunk but you aren't sober. Your child never sees you sober. Speaking as the child of a parent who started out the same as you are now (6 cans of Smithwicks a night, every night, more on a Friday) and is now in full time care because of the progression of his alcoholism you are on a slippery slope. As a parent and a partner who gives over every single night of the week to drinking you're essentially useless to your family every night of the week, in that if there was an emergency in the evening you'd be drunk. If your partner or child wanted to have a serious conversation with you that they could be sure you'd remember in the morning or not have second thoughts about in the cold light of day, they can't because you are drunk and your judgement is impaired. (this in particular sucks) Also, even if you're drinking cheap beer you're also spending, what, a minimum of €80 a week on your 8 cans a night? (assuming €1.80*8*6 and not factoring in whatever you drink at the weekend). That's over 4 grand a year, on your drinking.

You have a problem, doesn't matter if you're gentle as a lamb when you drink, it's a problem when you are drunk every single night of the week.

username123

MissFlitworth wrote: »

As a parent and a partner who gives over every single night of the week to drinking you're essentially useless to your family every night of the week, in that if there was an emergency in the evening you'd be drunk. If your partner or child wanted to have a serious conversation with you that they could be sure you'd remember in the morning or not have second thoughts about in the cold light of day, they can't because you are drunk and your judgement is impaired. (this in particular sucks)

^^This +1000

A person drinking so much can't be relied upon, in any way, so eventually it's easier to emotionally detach from them.

Dodd

OP posting this thread might be the wisest thing you will ever do in your life if you take the advice given here.
I know people dead and two with cirrhosis who didn't drink as much as you at that age.
None of them were/are 50 and one was 38.

TheChizler

Could you try buying beer with a lower alcohol %age or maybe 3 regular and 3 non-alcoholic? Or both? Or cutting down by 1 a week or even buying stubbies? If it's a physical habit rather than a chemical dependency that would reduce the damage without you noticing and you could see where you stand in a few weeks.

popa smurf

OP again wrote: »

Hi guys,
Havnt got the time to reply to everyone at the moment but will try to later.
Ill just answer a few quick things.
No im not overweight, have a healthy BMI as i walk a nice bit and do a lot of outdoorsy stuff.
When i said my last tenner on booze, i didnt mean that if OH or Child needed something they would go without, they wouldnt as i could stop for that. What i meant was, i would spend it on beer instead of saving it etc.
Often on nights when i dont have a drink at all, it dosnt bother me, in the slightest, but the next night il have some. I hoping thats a sign that im not to dependant on it.
Thanks for the cold hard facts guys. And to the all the reassuring replies.
From today i am going to try make a start. The idea of going out and doing something in the evening is a good one. Ill start with that.
Thanks guys

You are not over weight yet because you are still young but if you keep going it will affect you latter on I was like your self drank a lot in my 20s and 30s but I regret it now that i did not do more fun things although i done alright I think that was down to the love of a good woman. you have something very special in the 3 year old and thats when there at the best years the most fun years make sure you make the most of it, you dont have to give up but you do need to cut down for your own sake and for your family.

LegacyUser

username123 wrote: »

(Your child knows dirty beer? Already?).

Hiya, just getting back to this now as was busy today.
That sounded wrong in my op. We were at a wedding recently and i told i had dirty beer in my hand. Now if were shopping she refers to it as dirty beer.

username123 wrote: »

Your fiancé has given up begging you to stop so clearly it does bother her but she doesn't want her life just to be nagging you.

You need to ask why you need to do this. You have a big problem. There is a lot of help out there but unless you figure out why you do it, and change that, you will keep going back.

I hope you manage to save yourself from the hell I detail above. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

She hasnt 'begged' me, she just passed comments like 'are you drinking again tonight' etc. She is very good so im going to sit down with her and talk about it. Tell her i dont want to be doing it.

As regards why i do it, there have been a few things that happened just shortly before i didnt start drinking which i was offered, but didnt get help for at the time when i probably should have.

LegacyUser

@TheChisler, i think cutting it out during the week would be best. I am thinking if i tried non-alcoholic it would still leave me a taste. Thanks for the input.

Dodd wrote: »

OP posting this thread might be the wisest thing you will ever do in your life if you take the advice given here.
I know people dead and two with cirrhosis who didn't drink as much as you at that age.
None of them were/are 50 and one was 38.

Hi,
Yes i believe it is.
I asked for cold hard facts and as much as some hurt, about my OH leaving etc, i want to thank everyone. What everyone has said has been on my mind all day.
I am happy i put this up now, when i can still do something about it, before iv lost anything.
I am going to stop Monday to Friday, with the help of herself. No match on telly excuses or the like. Iv wrote these things down to show her.
I always put her and child first over anything, but as 1 person pointed out that eventually i may put beer ahead which is a scary thought as i would do anything for them two girls.
This has opened my eyes big time, and its scary. I know i can do this because as i said if i miss a day or two, it dosnt bother me.
So thank all of you for helping me, now its time to help myself.
Thanks for the kick up the arse i needed to see sense and realise what i am doing unknown to myself.
Mods, can be locked now.
Thanks:)