Really want a social life

LegacyUser

I'm in my 30s and moved to Waterford a few years ago for work , I really am starting to get board of my social situation , Im single and rarely if ever meet my college friends anymore who have all settled down and have started families , I still have 1 or 2 friends I meet up with on occasion every few months , all I do now most weekends is watch tv and drink off licence on my own and I really am sick of it , to be honest it's kinda as I used to be very over weight and I just didn't feel like going out , however I have since lost a good chunk of weight and u feel it's time to change my social habbits aswell , it's not healthy to be sitting in most weekends if your single

c - 13

If you havent already done so check out the Waterford boards on here, im on my mobile at the moment so cant link but there are a couple of threads on there regarding some clubs in the city you could consider joining with a social element - dodgeball, archery, badminton to name a few.

loalae

Do you have any interests that you could follow up on? Sports teams, running clubs, dance classes or book clubs are all useful ways of meeting people and may lead to nights out. Or go to meetup.com and see if you're interested in any of the groups there.

Caonima

It takes some willpower, but getting out there and trying to meet people is the way. Waterford's a biggish place, can't be too hard. Go out and watch some telly in the pub (helps if you like football), or get your face seen around town. Grab a coffee, read a paper outside, say hi to people, you need to push it a little. We all get to a situation like this, it's nothing new. Reboot yourself, start again, if you're nice to people they'll be nice to you.

Est28

Op, It's a pain. I moved to the US a few years ago and I was lost for a while.
I have a friend from here who's gone to Germany recently and she's finding the same but slowly putting it together.

There's really no answer but get out of the house.
Take all the advice above on going to sports, lessons at anything, a class, look on Meetup.com, go to beers, look for comunity things you can go to or volunteer for.

Here's the bit that never clicked with me for a long time though. People always say to go do this stuff and my answer was "Well, that's great but I'm not into any of that stuff".
I eventually learned, it doesn't matter. What you need is a little social outlet. So even if you're not really into the activity, it doesn't matter, you're primary goal is to go along and get to know a few people, so go and be social.

The last point everyone ignores is this, they key to making this work:
You can't go ONCE to an event and expect to have 10 new friends. You make friends by seeing the same people on a regular basis and being friendly and social, so give it time.
And once you you have that familiarity, YOU need to make the moves to meet up elsewhere or grab a pint, or whatever. More often than not people are just as shy as you and will wait for the other person to suggest meeting up and then nobody ends up doing it... be Mr. Social. It works wonders, I promise you.

Caonima

Est28 wrote: »

Here's the bit that never clicked with me for a long time though. People always say to go do this stuff and my answer was "Well, that's great but I'm not into any of that stuff".
I eventually learned, it doesn't matter. What you need is a little social outlet. So even if you're not really into the activity, it doesn't matter, you're primary goal is to go along and get to know a few people, so go and be social.

The last point everyone ignores is this, they key to making this work:
You can't go ONCE to an event and expect to have 10 new friends. You make friends by seeing the same people on a regular basis and being friendly and social, so give it time.
And once you you have that familiarity, YOU need to make the moves to meet up elsewhere or grab a pint, or whatever. More often than not people are just as shy as you and will wait for the other person to suggest meeting up and then nobody ends up doing it... be Mr. Social. It works wonders, I promise you.

This

Sarah Jane.

Well done on loosing the weight (I used to struggle with weight too).
Firstly I'd say STOP drinking on your own, it will make things worse for you if you continue.
You could join a swimming club/gym to keep fit and feel good.
Why don't you organize a reunion with your friends in your local bar, get really dressed up, maybe even buy a new outfit. Try socialise with the locals when you are there... You might even meet a man there ;-) Organize a reunion with your cousins another night and go from there. Hope you find what your looking for

Caonima

Sarah Jane. wrote: »

You might even meet a man there ;-)

What did I miss? Isn't the OP a man?

Sarah Jane.

Caonima wrote: »

What did I miss? Isn't the OP a man?

I'm not sure? I just presumed? haha. Well if it's a man, then you might find a woman

Caonima

Sarah Jane. wrote: »

I'm not sure? I just presumed? haha. Well if it's a man, then you might find a woman

Sorry, I apologise for being pedantic. I wasn't sure. Different rules very obviously apply for men and women. But your advice is sound, irrespective.