Friends

myselfx1

So I have these two friends that I have known since baby school and we have grown up together. We are now all in third year in secondary school and I feel like my two friends are drifting appart. A few days ago my friend, lets call him Mark, called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to the cinema with him. I said yes and we went ahead. Mark told me that he had called my other friend, lets call him John, but he said that he was wasn't at home so he couldn't go. A few days later I was on Facebook talking to a few people (they had nothing to do with this) and one guy says "Oh I heard Mark asked John if he wanted to go to the cinema, that guy is such a weirdo." Keep in mind Mark nor John was in this conversation. The guy goes on to say "Yeah John was out with me and a few other guys and Mark asked him if he wanted to go to the cinema." Everyone in the conversation was typing "lolol" and "Ha what at weirdo" . I felt really bad hearing that my friend had lied to my other friend. Mark was different to everyone else ; His parents were strict on him and he was constantly under pressure to get good marks in tests so much that at every lunch break before any tests he would stay inside and study. He is not allowed to play over 15s games. And he has relatively low amount of friends.

Anyway my point is that I am good friends with Mark and John. Mark thinks that John likes him. And John (from what I can tell) doesn't like Mark.

Please respond to this because I really don't want them to drift away.

Thread moved from Humanities to Personal Issues.

Truth is that friends drift apart. People change as you grow up. It happens and you'll meet new people.

Faith

Wait, so does John think that Mark fancies him, or does Mark just think that him and John are mates and John doesn't think they're friends?

It's hard when friends drift apart, but I can't see what it has to do with you, really. It's up to them to sort out if they want to. Secondary school is a time when friends change a lot, and when you go to college, you'll probably get a whole new set of friends again. If John doesn't want to be friends with Mark any more, that's his decision and there's not much you can do about it, I'm afraid.

freshpopcorn

Actually something like this happened to me a couple of years ago. I had a group of male friends and we used always go to the cinema together. I thought nothing of it nor did they. One day tough I asked a different guy that I thought was good friends with me to go and he said yes and we arranged to meet at a certain time. The guy never showed up. I texted him and he said he was busy. I found out off another female friend that this guy sent out a message to loads of people about how gay I was for asking him to go to the cinema. In his eyes two guys cant go to the cinema together as friends. So, this might have being what happened here.

myselfx1

Thanks for all the help. Its easier to handle now. Neither Mark nor John are gay.

iverjohnston

All you can do is keep them as your friends. Everything else is outside your control.

judgefudge

If they're making fun of him because they thought it was gay then they are incredibly immature. I have male friends that regularly go to the cinema together (early 20s). Cause they're mates.

Why didnt you just say in the conversation that he had asked you to go too?! It would have nipped that whole "gay" thought straight in the bud and allowed you to back mark up without losing face with your other mates.

Aside from that you can't control which it your mates will like each other. Just try to do your best to be a good friend to all your friends individually

YbFocus

Yeah man friends at this stage sadly do begin to drift apart, but you'll meet new friends!

For me anyway I still to this day have the same core of friends I always did but as I went to college you loose contact with most.
You develope friends with people in college and this core group of friends from home.
That's how it happened for me anyway.

Yeah, as mentioned previously, just because two male friends hang out together doesn't make them "gay". I would regularly meet with my male friends and go for food together, for tea together, and to the cinema together. Why? Because we're friends and we enjoy each other's company.. I know that the ages involved has something to do with it, but make sure you keep that thought in mind.