Need Advice

missy1970

Things are just hard right now

Taltos

Better here OP. S&D is strictly for support and help for those going through the mess that is separation and divorce, it is not for general relationship advices.

Legs.Eleven

I'm sorry, OP but your post is a little bit unreadable in parts. The genders seem to be mixed up or something. I'm totally lost. Can you read through it, check the genders and maybe indicate who the people you're talking about are?



Btw, I get the general idea you're unhappy. You need to end this relationship and leave.

Esoteric_

That was really confusing to read. I hope I have this right -

He broke up with his wife, however long ago.
He stays in contact with his ex wife's parents.
The parents always talk about how his ex wife is doing, and you don't like it? You've told him to tell his ex parents-in-law to stop talking about her, but he refused.
He's left for a few days.
He wrecked your truck, but refuses to pay to fix it.
You have him living with you, rent-free and not contributing towards bills.
He owes you 2 grand and won't pay it.
Some girl on Facebook wants him to stay with her overnight, and he won't refuse.

Do I have that right?

Firstly, you don't really have any right to tell him that he can't listen to his ex mother in law speak about his ex wife. Of course his ex mother in law is going to talk about her, she's her daughter.

To the rest - why are you letting him stay rent free? Kick him out. You're not going to get the money he owes you, or the money for your truck, so write it off and kick him out.

Neither of you are happy by the sound of it. It sounds like a head wreck of a relationship, so cut your losses and tell him not to come back. While he's gone for a few days, pack his stuff and let that be the end of it.

ivytwine

The main thrust I got is that this man says he hates you.

Why would you be with someone who hates you?!!

Stavro Mueller

There are so many red flags in your story I don't know where to start. You're in an emotionally abusive relationship with a horrible man who has destroyed your self-esteem.

It's time to accept that he's never going to change. He has said he hates you. Now any woman who isn't in the state you're in would say fine - here's a black bag for your belongings and there's the door.

Leave aside all that stuff about the contact he's having with his ex inlaws. It's clear that his ex has moved on with her life and that she probably doesn't want her mother to be friendly with him.

What I'm much more concerned about are the other things you've written.

• He doesn't mind flouting other women under your nose.

• He won't pay his way in your home

• He wrecked your truck and is refusing to repair it.

• He's threatening to shoot the animals so you can't sell(?) them to pay for repairs

• He owes you two grand and is refusing to pay

And now for the classic emotional abuse stuff

• He's blaming YOU for all his problems

• He says you're meant to be single forever and nobody else will want you

• He doesn't see anything wrong in taking another woman for a trip in your camper

Do you have any family or friends you can turn to? You badly need help here. It's time to accept that this is a sick sick relationship that needs to be put out of its misery as soon as possible. You're never going to get that money he owes you. FACT. He's going to continue treating you like dirt. Things are never ever going to get better while you stay with this man. He's an abusive bully and you need to leave him. Now is the time to take action while he's gone. Can you get someone to stay over with you for a few days and help make your home safe? Don't let him back in. Tell him it's over. Throw his things in a black bag and tell him to go. The sooner you rid yourself of this leech the better.

heretochat

cymbaline wrote: »

There are so many red flags in your story I don't know where to start. You're in an emotionally abusive relationship with a horrible man who has destroyed your self-esteem.

It's time to accept that he's never going to change. He has said he hates you. Now any woman who isn't in the state you're in would say fine - here's a black bag for your belongings and there's the door.

Leave aside all that stuff about the contact he's having with his ex inlaws. It's clear that his ex has moved on with her life and that she probably doesn't want her mother to be friendly with him.


What I'm much more concerned about are the other things you've written.

• He doesn't mind flouting other women under your nose.

• He won't pay his way in your home

• He wrecked your truck and is refusing to repair it.

• He's threatening to shoot the animals so you can't sell(?) them to pay for repairs

• He owes you two grand and is refusing to pay

And now for the classic emotional abuse stuff

• He's blaming YOU for all his problems

• He says you're meant to be single forever and nobody else will want you

• He doesn't see anything wrong in taking another woman for a trip in your camper

Do you have any family or friends you can turn to? You badly need help here. It's time to accept that this is a sick sick relationship that needs to be put out of its misery as soon as possible. You're never going to get that money he owes you. FACT. He's going to continue treating you like dirt. Things are never ever going to get better while you stay with this man. He's an abusive bully and you need to leave him. Now is the time to take action while he's gone. Can you get someone to stay over with you for a few days and help make your home safe? Don't let him back in. Tell him it's over. Throw his things in a black bag and tell him to go. The sooner you rid yourself of this leech the better.

Good God I couldn't believe what I was reading there in the OP... Abusive is not the word for this "man" (and I use that term unwillingly)... Kick him to the kerb and get your self-respect back.. He is a vicious, self-centred egotistical individual.. You can do so much better.. (obviously)