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Inappropriate texts...12yr old

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  • 16-08-2013 3:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Help!

    I have an 11yr old boy, who pals with boys and girls who are 12 and 13.
    To cut to the chase, his pal (male 13) sent a few texts to another pal (female 12) from my sons phone using viber. The text is pretty graphic. Think a porn movie...I want to do this and that to you....
    The girl realised immediately that it wasn't my son sending the texts, and said 'Hi X' acknowledging that it was this other lad...at which point the other lad says 'How did you cop it was me..'etc and they went on to send another few texts. This all happened in the past few hours, when my own lad and his pal were upstairs. I'm confident it was his pal sending the texts.

    Anyway...as I said, the texts are pretty graphic and are very blatant sex texts.

    I know this lad and girl aren't up to anything in real life...but I'm afraid this girls parents might find the texts (from my sons phone)...or that the lads parents might find the texts and so on...I'm a mum in my late 30s, and he's my oldest so it's my first dip of the toe in the water with this text messaging stuff!!! Should I say nothing..or something???
    I would sincerely appreciate any advice on this one today...


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    #2
    boogle
    Registered Users Posts: 777 ✭✭✭boogle


    If it was me, and I was 100% sure that the other boy had sent the messages then here's what I'd do. Get your son's phone, and the 13 year old. Sit him down (preferably with another adult present, like his parent! ) and read the texts that he wrote out to him. Embarrass the hell out of him, and show your horror at the content. Insist that he personally contact the girl in question to apologise. Might put him off anything like that in future.


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    #3
    Thomasmartin
    Registered Users Posts: 69 ✭✭Thomasmartin


    Their in puberty..this will happen more! It's time for the sex talk


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    #4
    nicowa
    Registered Users Posts: 700 ✭✭✭nicowa


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Help!

    I have an 11yr old boy, who pals with boys and girls who are 12 and 13.
    To cut to the chase, his pal (male 13) sent a few texts to another pal (female 12) from my sons phone using viber. The text is pretty graphic. Think a porn movie...I want to do this and that to you....
    The girl realised immediately that it wasn't my son sending the texts, and said 'Hi X' acknowledging that it was this other lad...at which point the other lad says 'How did you cop it was me..'etc and they went on to send another few texts. This all happened in the past few hours, when my own lad and his pal were upstairs. I'm confident it was his pal sending the texts.

    Anyway...as I said, the texts are pretty graphic and are very blatant sex texts.

    I know this lad and girl aren't up to anything in real life...but I'm afraid this girls parents might find the texts (from my sons phone)...or that the lads parents might find the texts and so on...I'm a mum in my late 30s, and he's my oldest so it's my first dip of the toe in the water with this text messaging stuff!!! Should I say nothing..or something???
    I would sincerely appreciate any advice on this one today...

    Anybody else using your sons phone could get him into serious trouble. Happened my niece when she had a 'friend' over. The friend sent bullying text messages to another girl who unfortunately didn't realise. And my niece was left with the fall out for weeks.

    I understand its difficult for kids to stand up to their friends but this kind if thing could be really dangerous. You're right when you say that if her parents (or any other adult) say those messages, your son would be the one in trouble.


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    #5
    Mrs W
    Registered Users Posts: 307 ✭✭Mrs W


    I would definitely speak to the other boys parents. It needs to be said to the 2 boys and you would be best including his parents in that. You can decide between you if you want to contact the girls parents.

    Saying nothing means its acceptable behaviour and things can escalate from texting these things to doing them because "it's normal"


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    #6
    Jessica-Rabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 180 ✭✭Jessica-Rabbit


    Thomasmartin wrote: »
    Their in puberty..this will happen more! It's time for the sex talk

    Regardless of the fact that its puberty this is still unacceptable, I am now an adult and by no means a prude but I would not allow some stranger or friend sext me. It is totally disrespectful. It happened to me in the past where a guy send me a very sexually charged message( he was not a bf or anyone I was remotely interested in) I blocked his number.
    This boy needs to learn how to respect girls and women.
    And as for the sex talk recommendation I think its a bit late for that one.

    OP I would have a serious chat with both boys, sending a girl ( friend or not) sexually charged messages is totally unacceptable and disrespectful. I think the boys parents should be aware of what their son has been doing


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    #7
    zl1whqvjs75cdy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,042 ✭✭✭zl1whqvjs75cdy


    Where do kids even learn this stuff at 12?


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    #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I'd firstly like to point out I'm not a parent.

    I'm assuming that if your son has viber he must have a smart phone. I'd sit him down and explain to him that he's responsible for his phone. If he uses his phone, or if he lets anyone else use his phone, to send texts or look up porn or any other websites or use apps, the consequences of that are still his responsibility. If he doesn't want to have to deal with the consequences of things people do on his phone, then he should keep his phone safe and away from other people, never mind freely letting other kids text from it.

    What if this other boy took a picture of his junk (I know it sounds ridiculous but it is something people do, be it a joke or otherwise) from your sons phone, as a prank or to further pester this girl he's been texting? Your son would be the one responsible for having child porn on his phone. Not the child that took the picture. It's no joke. Giving a smart phone to an 11 year old is a huge risk in my opinion, but if you feel safe to give it to him then make sure he's not lending it to anyone else. (If I'm right in assuming he has a smart phone) He has 24/7 access to the internet, and while you might know you can trust him with it, you can't know what other kids will do with it if they persuade him to give it to them. I would focus less on what to do about the kids he's friends with and more on his own actions in letting his friend do such a thing on his phone. If he wants a phone he needs to show he can handle it.


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