Sister ending long term relationship

Lawstudent21

Hi everyone, I'm in a real dilemma..my sister has confided in me that she is going to break up with her boyfriend of 8 years. They have no kids and live together for about a year now. They share so many interests and he loves her so much. I would consider him a very close friend but I only got to know him through my sister. Always thought they would get married I'm not to tell anyone but should I give her boyfriend some sort of warning?? I feel like I should persuade her otherwise as they are a lovely couple. She thinks she has fallen out of love with him. Any advice as to what I should do greatly appreciated!

strandroad

Nothing for you to do... it's between the two of them. Do not warn him, it's up to her to talk to him.

Fluorescence

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you "warn" him. That is an incredibly selfish thought and a pretty crap thing to do for everyone involved.

It's their relationship, butt out.

Meauldsegosha

No your sister told you something in confidence, respect that and don't say anything to her partner. All you can do now is be there for your sister if she wants to talk.

YumCha

Sorry to be blunt, but I don't see how this is a dilemma... Your sister told you something in confidence, and you're actually entertaining a) Breaking her trust to warn her boyfriend, and b) Trying to talk her out of it?

It's not really any of your business to interfere - plus even if you did try and persuade her, it's not like she's going to end a relationship of 8 years on a whim. She's obviously thought through this, has made her decision, and is now looking for support.

Just be there for her - you need to be a sister first, and a friend to her partner second.

Lawstudent21

Great answers guys thanks for quick replys..yes it was a bit of a selfish thought now that I think about it! Ill just give her lots of support.

LegacyUser

You don't know the reason or reasons why you sister is ending her relationship of 8 years.
She may want to get married or have children and her partner may have no interest in this.
He may be cheating on her or it maybe it's the fact that long term she knows they want different things.
She has had a relationship for 8 years with this man and lived with him for a year.
She told you that she going to brake up with him and you asked us here should you tell him.

No you can't say anything to him this is between your sister and him.

Your sister trusts you and she knows that once she ends the relationship she will need your help. My advice is to be there for your sister. If he asks for your help in getting back with her or tells you private information re the brake up just say it is between you and your sisters name but that you wish him well in the future.
No one knows what goes on between couples and you don't want to lose your sister over this.

Koptain Liverpool

Lawstudent21 wrote: »

Hi everyone, I'm in a real dilemma..my sister has confided in me that she is going to break up with her boyfriend of 8 years. They have no kids and live together for about a year now. They share so many interests and he loves her so much. I would consider him a very close friend but I only got to know him through my sister. Always thought they would get married I'm not to tell anyone but should I give her boyfriend some sort of warning?? I feel like I should persuade her otherwise as they are a lovely couple. She thinks she has fallen out of love with him. Any advice as to what I should do greatly appreciated!

Of course you should not be even thinking about giving her boyfriend a 'warning'

She thinks?? I'd imagine your sister knows how she feels better herself than you

The only advice would be to keep your nose out of other people's affairs especially when they trust you enough to confide in you about important things.

Czarcasm

Lawstudent21 wrote: »

Hi everyone, I'm in a real dilemma..my sister has confided in me that she is going to break up with her boyfriend of 8 years. They have no kids and live together for about a year now. They share so many interests and he loves her so much. I would consider him a very close friend but I only got to know him through my sister. Always thought they would get married I'm not to tell anyone but should I give her boyfriend some sort of warning?? I feel like I should persuade her otherwise as they are a lovely couple.

I think you dropped the ball on that one OP.

She thinks she has fallen out of love with him. Any advice as to what I should do greatly appreciated!

There's your answer right there tbh. Your sister will need your support and I can't see any reason why YOU would owe her boyfriend any explanations or warnings, unless you wanted to drive a massive wedge between your sister and yourself.

Who do you think is the first person her boyfriend is going to confront if you warn him? It's not going to be you, it's going to be your sister, and that's going to make things an awful lot worse for all three of you.

shinesun

Hi OP,
I'm sure you did not say anything to the boyfriend after hopefully.
It's between the two of them. She obviously knows it's not working out and wants to end it now before marriage/kids etc which is the most sensible thing to do. Unfortunately there are many people who are not as brave as her.

Be there for her OP, she obviously trusts you enough to confide in.:)