If everything happens for a reason... wtf?

LegacyUser

I'm afraid this is going to be a long post, started writing it earlier but only got started and chickened out, not really sure what I am looking for from writing this, just to get it all out I suppose but my life is a mess.

Turned 29 yesterday and the thoughts of being 30 are terrifying, feel haven't moved on a day since I was 20, still completely broke, working in a job I don't like and very little hope of changing that right now.

But this past week has really just been the ****t1est ever. Had a great weekend last weekend and was on a high, had a job interview on Wednesday, had to pull a sickie from work (not my finest hour but hey-ho), interview went awful, hr woman was a cow and basically made me feel like a waster who can commit to nothing and must be pretty poor at what I do, always enchanting to hear. But my friend had also interviewed and same woman had been a cow so wasn't too upset, plus it was in somewhere far away so not so disappointed not to get it anyway.

Thursday is fine, work is busy but that's a real plus in my workplace and I'm off work on Friday so...yay!! I try to fill days off by doing as much as I can so I did but also found out my aunt has breast cancer, its upsetting, we aren't super close but we get on well and shes only 52 so young but hopefully she will be ok and trying to stay positive on that front.

Saturday did some fun stuff, went for few drinks but home early as big day on Sunday, Sunday being my birthday and came home Sunday night to find my lovely gifts on my bed so felt great. Sunday was going fine, lots going on, long day on my feet so was pretty tired. Noticed one of my facebook messages was from a recent ex who I considered to be a friend, a lovely generic "happy birthday!" and it really annoyed me. A message like that is fine for an acquaintance but I really thought that our friendship was more than that. We broke up a few months ago (v short relationship anyway!) in amicable enough circumstances, he just wasn't making enough effort and it was going nowhere, sad but life goes on, can't say I don't miss him as we got on great but if could keep friendship up would have been enough I think. We have seen each other a few times and gotten on good so thought things we fine between us. Even talked to him Saturday evening about the thing I was at on Sunday and was fine chat. So he shows up at the event, grand, he said he might be there but he is sooooooo cold, arms folded, barely talking, so unfriendly didn't mention my birthday but he was so out of sorts I thought something was wrong. Text him afterwards to check if ok and says he's grand which makes the whole thing worse to be honest, not that I want something to be wrong but its all so weird my head is wrecked.

Had an awful nights sleep, over tired and irritated and exam results out today so was on edge, 6.30am results came through, two exams, passed one and failed one and I'm just gutted, put in a lot of work and it just didn't pay off and just feel like have been kicked in the tummy over and over and now I'm 29!!! I know exam failure is my own fault, I have a very busy extra curricular life, I am heavily involved in a few organisations and I love them, they are what keeps me sane when I hate my crappy job but they are costing me my exams and my career is now on a fast track to nowhere. I can repeat the exam but its just so frustrating. My life should be together by now. I am happy most of the time, have great friends, good family but just don't know what to do with myself next.

Sorry for the epic tale, nothing anyone can say really just need to get it out.:(

albetty31

sorry but when i finished reading that i wanted to give you a slap. you're living a charmed life. go volunteer at a local homeless centre/rape crisis centre/make friends with a very lonely and afraid single mother/walk corridors of a hospital, see all the people who are going above and beyond every day to just survive. just study and quit making excuses.stop presuming the hr woman was a cow and maybe take on her opinion. (im a nice person and very aware of depression etc so im very sorry if i am hurting feelings here etc but you really need a good kick up the arse darling) make a list of where you want to be, what you want to do and do it.

reallyupset

reallyupset wrote: »

Sorry for the epic tale, nothing anyone can say really just need to get it out.:(

There isn't really, you may feel like you're out of control but you know exactly why this is and only you can sort it out.

Practically speaking, you need to back away from the organisations you're "heavilly involved" with and cut back on the extra curriculars until you get your exams ... but you know this. It'll be a small sacrifice that will pay off in the long term. Once you get the exams you can get your career back on track.

There's no timeframe for getting your life together, everything doesn't happen for a reason and exes don't always turn out to be great friends.

Snoopy1

Confused???
You got loads of presents on your bed (how old are you?) and your ex didn't talk to you, at some night out.
Hes an ex for a reason, why would you be so bothered?
Cut down on a couple of activites and concentrate on the studying.
I'm not trying to be harsh, i suffer with depression, so i know what its like.

freshpopcorn

Turn 29 is no big deal nor is turning 30. People in their thirties start degrees/go back to school/fall in love just of people in their twenties do. So I wouldn't be worried about the age thing.
As for the job interview. Loads of people go for interviews and don't get the job. A good idea might be you practice interview with either a friend or an adviser who could help you with your presentation skills and general interview stills. Which could result in you having a better chance of getting a job.
Its sad for your aunt and her family. All you can do is offer to help them with anything she might need or family. Whether it might be a drive to the hospital/ babysitting/ looking after her house if shes in hospital. She is getting treatment so this is the best thing possible for her.
You had a good Birthday by the sounds of it. You have friends and got presents.
The facebook thing doesn't matter a bit most people only write 'Happy Birthday' some people might ad 'have a good one'. Also he is your ex-boyfriend he probably thought it would be inappropriate to write a big long message to you. I know I would.
When you meet him the other night. He might have being in a bad mood himself.Not everyone is perky all the time. He might have had some bad news himself and he might have wanted to keep it private or he didn't want to burden you on your Birthday.
You failed one exam and passed one. All you need to do now is repeat the exam and at least you have a better idea of what the exam is like, just put a little bit of study in and hope you pass this time.
By the sounds of it you enjoy your extra curricular activities. So, I think giving these up will help you. Maybe cut them back a bit before you do the repeat exam.
If your not happy with your job just try and train and up skill and practice interview skills with people. Also make sure your CV is correct and wrote to suite the job your applying for. But remember just because you have a very well paid job mightn't make you happy.

ulinbac

How is that the Sh*ttest week ever...

Did you consider that the HR woman might be right? What right do you have to call someone you don't know a cow! Have you ever asked for a review on your weak points or constructive criticism to se if you are a waster in your current job?

I think you are coming across as spoilt, a bit self absorbed, quite immature for a 29 year old and seem like an attention seeker. You got your birthday presents on your bed, passed most of your exams, have a load of friends, had a party and an ex (who you were barely with) left a happy birthday that wasn't satisfactory on you FB! Thats not exactly a problem, to most people.

Maybe you should consider reading the thread on depression in after hours or the anxiety one in Long Term Illness, then you will see what a s**t week is like.

Big Bag of Chips

Thread closed at OP's request via PM.