Rural v Urban Ireland discussion continuation

Annasopra

This is a continuation of the discussion from this lisdoonvarna thread

1ZRed wrote: »

And you know this, how?

Are you from a rural area by any chance or are you being PC?

I have spoken to people from areas outside the main cities -
In the last 3 years I have met lgbt group organisers from kerry, kildare, carlow, waterford, limerick, sligo, cavan, wicklow, tipperary, galway, kilkenny

I have seen a few local media pieces where there is a big story about the civil partnership in it - the couple are delighted from the support of the entire town

As well as that it shouldnt be forgotten that motions supporting marriage equality were supported by County Councils in Cork, Kerry, Waterford, Carlow, Louth, Wicklow, Kildare.

So no - I am not just being PC

baby and crumble

mango salsa wrote: »

This is a continuation of the discussion from this lisdoonvarna thread



I have spoken to people from areas outside the main cities -
In the last 3 years I have met lgbt group organisers from kerry, kildare, carlow, waterford, limerick, sligo, cavan, wicklow, tipperary, galway, kilkenny

I have seen a few local media pieces where there is a big story about the civil partnership in it - the couple are delighted from the support of the entire town

As well as that it shouldnt be forgotten that motions supporting marriage equality were supported by County Councils in Cork, Kerry, Waterford, Carlow, Louth, Wicklow, Kildare.

So no - I am not just being PC

Whilst I live in Dublin, pretty much my whole home town know I'm gay and it isn't an issue. When my mum died, people were coming up to me and my gf the same as to my brother and his fiancé extending sympathy. My pseudo granny, a country woman of the old school if ever there was one, raised hell in a stationary shop in Carlow because there was no gender neutral Christmas cards she could buy for me and my gf. There are trans folks living in the town and they're treated just the same as everyone else- bar by some eejits. The only homophobic abuse I've ever gotten was walking on the street by myself in Dublin. Not in my home town.

I do think that people from Dublin and the bigger cities have a kind of "hey, we're so progressive" attitude to a lot of things which is just rubbish. I've lived both rurally and slap bang in Dublin city centre and the only difference is the city has more shops and more noise.

jaffacakesyum

My ONLY point on that thread was that in general more rural small towns will be more backwards in terms of accepting LGBT individuals than in big cities. I stand by that point. I'm not even talking about "country folk" lumped together, I'm talking about rural communities in comparison to city communities. As in, that's including people born in rural areas but living in, say Dublin, would still be classed as the part of the city and would be more accepting in general than rural communities.

I'm not even talking about Ireland though or getting into a debate about Dublin/Cork/whatever city vs Small town Ireland. (I'm not even talking about 2 big cities or 3 big cities or any particular number in Ireland being more accepting than others, as I have never lived in those cities).

I'm talking about globally, in general, bigger cities are going to be more accepting of diversity. Genuinely don't know how anyone could disagree with that.

Why do you think minorities flock to big capitol cities?

I lived in NYC for a while last year and it was astonishing how much better life these people had compared to their small town homes. I certainly would have a better quality of life living there.

Going back to Ireland, all my gay friends are either Irish or South American. The Irish ones happen to be all from outside Dublin (just realised that after this discussion came up actually!) and every single one of them (who have now moved to Dublin) have a better life here. The homophobia in their home towns ranged from a not-as-big-a-deal as uncomfortableness and town gossip, to insults shouted on the street in a town in Co. Mayo when my friend brought his boyfriend home and held his hand, to a girl I know being completely disowned from her family back home.

Does this happen in bigger cities too? Of course. But not as much in my opinion.

Btw my sample size of gay friends born outside big cities is of course relatively small for a general observation but I'm not even talking about my own observations I'm just talking about a pretty general statement that I would have thought most people would agree on.

lottpaul

This topic stirs a lot of memories/feelings for me. I grew up in the depths of rural Ireland, went to college and work in Dublin and the surrounding counties for 34 years, and am now back in a very rural area again.
First off -- you can't generalise about any rural or urban area but I think there are some common threads:

- you can get "lost" more easily in bigger cities if you want to - unless that city happens to be your home place. There are definitely more opportunities to meet people, settle down with them etc and have little or no adverse reaction. Part of that comes from no one knowing their neighbours at all in cities. There's generally a bigger mix of people too - every part of the rainbow. Can you get hassled in cities? - yes; Can you get homophobic work colleagues/neighbours etc? - yes. Can you live a very happy and fulfilled life there? - yes too.

- rural life (I mean in the countryside, up a lane, off another lane etc) is slower, easier, and far more open than it used to be -- but there is little real privacy. Whether you like it or not all of the locals will know about you, but how much they know will depend to some extent on what you tell them and most are too preoccupied with their own lives to worry about other peoples'. Some rural areas now have a lot of "newcomers" (i.e. from beyond the next parish ) living there too and the greater mix helps. Can you get hassled in the countryside? - yes; Can you get homophobic work colleagues/neighbours etc? - yes. Can you live a very happy and fulfilled life there? - yes too. But for a single gay/lesbian person to socialise etc in a comfortable situation means a 2 or 3 hour round trip. It is sometimes easier if, as in our case, we come from that place originally, and the family ties (everyone is a cousin of some degree) do help. We are probably not perceived to be a "threat" to the general way of life - Some country people fear change and see it as a negative.
There's also an age gap in rural areas. Lots of young children, teenagers, married couples and older people. But many of the late teens/20s are away in college, working etc and their absence does skew attitudes a bit.

By and large though - it is easier to be "different" in a city. I couldn't wait to get to Dublin, to explore life. 34 years later I couldn't wait to leave. Not because I disliked the place - I still love it - it gave me "shelter", work and happiness for years, but I was "ready" to go back. Perhaps someday I'll go back again.

Ultimately it's the people that matter more, not the place.