We're being scared into turning to God....

ibstar

*text covered by flash* "disappointment unto"

Did they get a new PR Manager?
Used to receive different "Jesus is love" kind of thing, but when I told them to stop sending me that stuff and stop wasting paper, I received this a couple of months later....

smokingman

ibstar wrote: »

*text covered by flash* "disappointment unto"

Did they get a new PR Manager?
Used to receive different "Jesus is love" kind of thing, but when I told them to stop sending me that stuff and stop wasting paper, I received this a couple of months later....

You should send them something back telling them Allah/Thor has been angered by their blasphemy

Cabaal

Gods are like a young women in her 20's, people will trade up for a newer model when it gets old.

Back in the days people were happy with the gods like Zeus, but then this newer god came around and people jump ship to it.

Of course now god is old and haggard now so people want to move onto something new again, mormons (created around 1830's) and of course Scientology (1950's).

But of course the older god will call them made up religions, funny that.... :pac:

Obliq

Cabaal wrote: »

Gods are like a young women in her 20's, people will trade up for a newer model when it gets old.

Wut? Have you momentarily lost the run of yourself?! Not that I didn't get it, but there are better ways of saying "the new broom sweeps clean".

kunst nugget

He is just using the Swiss Toni school of analogies. 'Believing in God is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You turn to them in your hour of need, desperately searching every part of them for the answer you need, becoming enraptured in their gentle, encouraging sweet nothings and finding sweet release within their temple then dumping them before being made to suffer your penance…'

Obliq

kunst nugget wrote: »

He is just using the Swiss Toni school of analogies. 'Believing in God is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You turn to them in your hour of need, desperately searching every part of them for the answer you need, becoming enraptured in their gentle, encouraging sweet nothings and finding sweet release within their temple then dumping them before being made to suffer your penance…'

And if you're a heterosexual woman, you use the broom analogy. Sweet jaysus, we ALL need better analogies....:(

Zillah

God is like an abusive husband: He belittles you, dehumanises you, brutalises you, sets impossible standards—thereby reducing you to such a wretched state that you submit to him even though he's absolute poison.

We should set up a battered theist centre, where they can arrive all shaky and alone, and we give them hot chocolate and tell them that they're fine just as they are, and that no one here will condemn them for feeling feelings, and make them feel safe for the first time in years.

kunst nugget

Obliq wrote: »

And if you're a heterosexual woman, you use the broom analogy. Sweet jaysus, we ALL need better analogies....:(

If you're Swiss Toni, you only need one analogy for everything in life…

Obliq

kunst nugget wrote: »

If you're Swiss Toni, you only need one analogy for everything in life…

Aaaah! Had to look him up. Now I get ya

Turtwig

Ahh now that's very old material from the wonderful Ray Comfort.

There's a full video somewhere of himself and Kirk on a plane reciting that script. Ten points to whoever finds it.

Dades

^^ Is that the one where they need a piece of sticky tape of exactly the right length to save the plane?

Turtwig

Dades wrote: »

^^ Is that the one where they need a piece of sticky tape of exactly the right length to save the plane?

It might be. All I remember is that it has the Mona Lisa in it.

Nodin

ibstar wrote: »

*text covered by flash* "disappointment unto"

Did they get a new PR Manager?
Used to receive different "Jesus is love" kind of thing, but when I told them to stop sending me that stuff and stop wasting paper, I received this a couple of months later....

Carrot has failed, they have moved to Stick.

Sarky

Write back to them with the most blasphemous rant you can imagine?

Hotblack Desiato

Dades wrote: »

^^ Is that the one where they need a piece of sticky tape of exactly the right length to save the plane?

Probably my favourite non-Python movie quote ever - Airplane II :

Striker: Where am I going to get a piece of metal?... Out here in space?... At this hour?

Edit: honourable mention goes to 'Dad, why are we going to the moon?' 'Shut up Timmy.' 'But Dad....' 'Look. She was asking for it. They're all asking for it.'

'Scraps is a boy dog, isn't he.'

'Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?'

'Oh, stewardess! I speak jive.'

And of course http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/quotes?item=qt0484155