need help with situation ... fwb or more ?

LegacyUser

Hi I need help with a situation I have found myself in . its a long story but one I would like to get some perspective on . Ok I know I am gonna get slated for this but I can't help it . Im female 20's . met a guy about 10 weeks ago on a night out . He walked me home and rang me the next day etc . we met up the next week for a drink and slept together . we were in constant contact by text and phonecalls , he seemed very keen . I asked him did he have a girlfriend , he said no .
As the weeks went on I asked him again did he have a girlfriend he said yes . I was crushed . I know I should have walked away then but I was falling ! I really liked him and thought we were gonna have something . I asked him what did he want with me if he has a girlfriend and he says he likes me too and wants to still see me . says he's not with her long .

Anyway he stays with me during the week , we sleep together and chat and cuddles etc . we see each other twice a week and recently he has asked me to go away for the weekend with him . I really like him and I know I should have dropped him when he said he had a girlfriend but I am wondering what he is up to . Am I just a fwb for him ? he likes to stay all night with me instead of just sleeping together and leaving and when he does leave the next day he is constantly texting me and arranging the next meet up . he says he likes me , I don't know what that means . is he confused and doesn't know who he wants ? surely if he has a girlfreind he is having sex with her so why would he want it with me ? does it mean he wants more than just sex with me ? would like to hear guys perspective also. thanks .

LegacyUser

Err I'm going t be blunt OP sorry

Am I just a fwb for him ?

I doubt you're even a fwb to be honest, more a really easy shag. The "friend" part of fwb implies he should have respect for you - he doesn't.

he likes to stay all night with me instead of just sleeping together and leaving and when he does leave the next day he is constantly texting me and arranging the next meet up . he says he likes me , I don't know what that means . is he confused and doesn't know who he wants ?

He isn't confused. He does know what he wants. He wants his girlfriend. That's why she's his girlfriend and you're not. Of course he likes you. You're a woman who he finds attractive who's willing to shag him even though she knows he has a girlfriend. What's not to like. Sex on a plate with someone who doesn't care that he's shagging someone else. He gets to have sex with two women. Jackpot!

surely if he has a girlfreind he is having sex with her so why would he want it with me ?

Again why would he turn down sex on a plate when you're happy to sleep with him knowing he has a gf, she won't find out and you're lacking the self respect to do the right thing think of his gf and walk away. He can have his cake and eat it, so he's eating it!

does it mean he wants more than just sex with me ?

No, again, he wants his girlfriend to be his girlfriend that's why he's still with her. All he's doing is spending time with you is keeping you sweet so he can continue having lots of sex, with two (at least) different women!

I'm sorry OP but i'm not sure what there is to be confused about here, it's pretty simple.
Guy meets girl, girl continues to sleep with guy knowing he has a gf. Guy thinks ding ding jackpot! He spends some time with her to keep her sweet so the arrangement can continue. The gf will never find out. He keeps getting to have lots of casual sex and also lovely relationship sex with his girlfriend. He's happy. The end.

Obviously most self respecting people would have walked away from him by now but your decision to keep sleeping him is your choice and i'll save you the lecture, deep down you know what you're doing. The only warning I'd give you OP is to make sure that if you continue to sleep with him make sure you use condoms. If he's the type to cheat so easily on his girlfriend, it's highly likely that he he's also sleeping with other women so you know who knows what you might catch.

Czarcasm

OP he knows what he wants alright- to string you along for as long as he can possibly get away with it. I've no doubt he likes you and likes spending time with you, but right now he's having the best of both worlds, and yours has been turned upside down in the process.

Where you go from here really depends on what you want to do about it, but for your own sanity I'd suggest you cut him out and find somebody who can be with you freely and with no distractions or other commitments, rather than some half hearted relationship.

You've only known him three months and he's so far lied to you, he's obviously lying to his girlfriend, so apart from company and sex, I don't see any future here in terms of any possible relationship with you and I doubt he has any ideas about wanting to change the situation as it stands right now either.

Are you happy with this current arrangement as it stands yourself?

December2012

He wants what you're giving him, sex and fun. For him.

Why did you agree to be a girl who facilitates a man cheating on his girlfriend?

LegacyUser

thanks for the help guys . can mods please delete or lock thanks .

Big Bag of Chips

Thread locked at OP's request.