Hi, any advice welcome

feardeas

Hi.

This is my maiden voyage on this although I've followed the group on and off for quite a while. I've found the way so many are helpful and considerate so nice and decent.

I apologise if this is a bit on the long side. I'm 31 and a teacher in a provincial town. I also happen to be gay. Now those six words look innocuous enough but to say them is, for me, a big deal. I spent a lot of time convincing my self that at the very least I was bi. That I could never feel emotionally attached to a guy whatever about fooling around. All that was needed was to meet a nice girl and ba da bing.

Wrong in so many ways. Over the last six months or so things have hit me at an almighty pace. The reality is that I am indeed gay. Now you might be saying well bully for you but to accept that is a big step for me. I've told my sister and two friends. The reactions were anti climatic to say the least. I mean my sister said she had known for years and the two friends didn't bat an eye lid basically saying I am the person I am and they still see me as who I am. It was a relief to say the least. The next step is to tell my parents. I'd take an anti climax in that situation and put it in the bank!

So that's the background. I've dated lads on and off over the last few years. Some bad and some very decent. The most recent lad was one of the nicest one could ask to meet but he's not in the place to get into anything right now. And if I'm being honest nor am I.

Here it comes to the advice bit. I know I'm a little late arriving at the party but I feel like I should try to widen the circle of friends. There are a few lads id be friendly with who are sound but a few more would be good.Any tips on groups that might be good to start with. I've looked At the resources etc thread but just wondering if there's any particular ones that might be good.

I mentioned that I'm a teacher so it is a little complicated in terms of being fully out. I don't see the need to tell everybody anyway. I am the person who I always have been. I'm a teacher, like sport, current affairs and can have a sharp temper as well. In other words I'm me warts and all and I also happen to like lads. It isn't who I am but it is part of who I am.

Fair play to anyone who has read to the end of this. If any of you have advice please share.

Cheers.

Dr. Shrike

You're not these two guys too, are you?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056776791
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056911552

If not, well they got some good advice already. Hope things work out for you.

feardeas

Dr. Shrike wrote: »

You're not these two guys too, are you?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056776791
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056911552

If not, well they got some good advice already. Hope things work out for you.

No im niether of those. Seems im not alone though. Will read through those.

Thanks for the,links.

lottpaul

Hi feardeas,

sorry, I'm well out of the loop in terms of what groups etc might be good for you - hopefully there are others here that can give you some good pointers. I just wanted to thank you for the post - it's great to read and will give hope and confidence to lots of people.
(you might need to give the folks here a vague bit of a hint as to where you are, geography wise, for when they're suggesting things)

Best of luck

Annasopra

Are you a secondary or primary teacher? I know the lgbt group in INTO is very sociable

feardeas

Thanks for the replies. I'm a secondary teacher. I know the unions have groups and will look into them once we're back which isn't too long now, not that I'd expect sympathy on that score.

Annasopra

feardeas wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. I'm a secondary teacher. I know the unions have groups and will look into them once we're back which isn't too long now, not that I'd expect sympathy on that score.

I dont think they would be unsympathetic?

Roughly where do you live? there may be social groups nearby

feardeas

mango salsa wrote: »

Why would they be unsympathetic?

An attempt at humour. Was feeling sorry for myself that holidays are running out.

lottpaul

feardeas wrote: »

An attempt at humour. Was feeling sorry for myself that holidays are running out.

I gotta tell you that looking for sympathy for teachers at the end of the holidays is like hunting for snow in the Sahara -- but I (used to) share your pain
Chin up -and think of Mid-term
(ducks and runs for cover)

feardeas

Hi.

Just wanted to share a little more. We've been back at work a little while now and I've told the friends on the staff that I wanted to tell. It was difficult but the difficulty was all in my head. This involved telling male friends for the first time. Not one batted an eyelid. They couldn't have been more supportive. Basically in a nutshell, they just asked if I was happy, and that was it.

Sitting today at break in the staff room knowing they knew and it didn't make a blind of difference really brought a smile to my face.

If you told me I'd have done this last May I'd have laughed heartily but then there you go.

lfqnic

Yay, maith thú!

lottpaul

Congratulations! Well done. Delighted to hear it went so well.

Red About Town

Inspiring story.

Caiseoipe19

Fair play! I'm glad it went well!

stephenken

just be you
was a teacher myself so I understand the complications