So like

IWantItALL

See me friend was seeing this bloke, big scum bag if ya ask me. One of these cardboard gangster who whack the sun beds out of it and get their eyebrows wax but how in everz. Anyway she's in love with him and he ripping her off left, right and centre! I say's it to her already and she's not having a bar off it. Well we were out like two weeks ago and like we only took half an E each. On a great lil buzz as ya do, loving life t d max. See a few fellas we knew and got catching away. Then Courtney on her lil 'Love Buzz' starts hanging out of your one Marco. Oh she can be an awful slut at times, I says to her "See you ya dizzy bleeding bitch, your making a right show of yourself ya tramp". "Aw Chan, don't be like that. I'm only being nice". I was to whacked to continue so I went and had a rave. Then I seen Melissa, she's one of these tanned skinny bitches with slugs for brows. Always has the gee split in the hair and bet around with a ghd. Stay stunning girls. Anyway like Melissa then seen Court and Marco nearly dry riding eachother in the corner. Now like in fairness she wasn't kissing him so like technically she didn't really rip her bloke off?? It was just flirting as she says but what ever floats your boat love. Anyway Melissa is a lil gangster gee, loves anyone with a few bob, does beds, gets waxed, nice car and is complete gob****e. That ticks every box of Courts bloke. We knew Melissa would be telling him that she seen Court hanging out of Marco.

ciaranmac

Is this another installment of the dental story? I like this stream-of-unconsciousness style of prose.

--Kaiser--

Tallaghtfornia in short story form?

Insect Overlord

It's like a crazy mix of Tallaght, D4, Newcastle and New Jersey. I can't figure out what regional accent/stereotype the OP was going for.

It's in the style of those silly, spoilt brats on the "shore" type monologues, but needs a lot of polishing.