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I hate my girlfriends friends.

  • 09-08-2013 1:59pm
    #1
    dancin ted danson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9 ✭


    My Gf has just a few close female friends. Everyone of them comes with more drama than a whole season of eastenders.

    I am a few years older than them so put that down as one reason.

    This drama is continuously off loaded onto my girlfriend who really has enough on her plate. She is too nice to tell them to cop on.
    I've had a couple of run ins with two of them now at this stage. I try my best but they are nasty little pieces of work.

    It obviously upsets my gf so id like to hear has anyone similar experiences or advice.

    Dancin Ted Danson.


Comments

  • #2
    trio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 494 ✭✭trio


    My advice is: never have another "run in" with them ever again. They are HER friends, and women have very intense friendships which often last years beyond their best before date.

    But your exasperation has a whiff of paternalism about it - you are older, and your girlfriend is too nice to get shot of them. You seem to be posting here for advice on what to do about THEM. But they are not your problem to solve. They are hers.

    What you can do is draw a boundary for yourself where you respectfully ask that you do not have to hear about their latest drama. She may pout, but it is not your job description as boyfriend to listen to somene elses ****e.

    And if they try to drag her in, tell her that you know she's old enough to know what to do. Because she is. And that the only person who's wellbeing you're interested in is her, not them.

    But stay out of it. They will probably be around for years. It's up to her to draw a line in the sand, not you - and she may never choose to do it. To be frank, these friends may outlast YOU!

    Unless they are actually causing her legitimate emotional harm, it's not your place to sort out these people. Hate away, but keep your distance and don't bitch about them. It'll only make her feel pulled in two.

    She may never have the guts to tell them to feck off. You have to realise that. But she's an adult - she has to come up with a way of dealing with toxic friends herself. Everyone does.


  • #3
    heretochat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 533 ✭✭✭heretochat


    Have to concur 100% with what trio says... They are her friends, probably have been for a long time, and probably will remain so for a long time..

    Having run ins with them and putting her under pressure in that way will only lead to resentment as she will be in a very awkward place..

    Keep your counsel and bite your tongue..


  • #4
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,429 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    Need to wind the neck in on this. Only one loser and more often than not it ain't the friend(s). Maybe she will see sense(from your perspective) in time or maybe she won't but take it from me you don't want friends in her ear saying what an old fuddy duddy you are which is how you are kinda coming across in your post. Say your piece to the gf but not to the friends.


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