What do you do to improve yourself?

py2006

I guess that's a rather broad question but it is something that I have been thinking about quite a bit in recent months.

Taking care of ones health and well being is not a strong point in men, or is it? Based on my brief observations, there seems to be endless products, services and avenues that women can consider to improve themselves should they require it. Is it as disproportionate as I think it is?

I'm in my early 30's now and I am starting to think about eating better and exercising. Both of which I am guilty of neglecting. However, aside from a physical well being I am curious as to how men actively take care of their mental well being. We all know that far too many men don't take care of their mental health and has lead to awful consequences. The stats in this country is horrifying.

From my own perspective, I'm trying to get back into reading as I believe reading is for the mind as the gym is to the body. However, this has been a bit of a struggle as I find my concentration levels are not as good as they were with regards to reading novels.

For those of you out there who are more conscious of your well being than others, what approach to life and/or activities etc do you do that you believe has helped you?

I'm posting this here as it particularly something I am interested from a males perspective but female comment is welcome.

ToxicPaddy

From a health prospective I try to eat well, drink plenty of water, exercise regularly and get plenty of sleep. It's very difficult to get your health back once you let it slip.

Knowledge wise, I go online and do maths courses to keep my brain active. I'm also going back to Uni at night in Sept to finally get at least a degree and maybe more if it goes well. I read factual and autobiographies all the time, usually a few a month, it's amazing what you can learn from them.

I try to travel as much as I can too and learn about new things. Open my horizons to new things, learn from other people, listen and observe instead of sticking my big oar in before I have all the info :pac:

I try to take care of my appearance also but not into lots of cosmetic stuff, just a neat appearance, clean ironed clothes, tidy haircut and clean shaven. Teeth looked after, clean trimmed finger nails etc. It doesn't take a huge amount of time but definitely gives the right first impression.

Pepe LeFrits

I engage in fads. I'm the fad king.

Danger781

Very much agree with reading but it obviously depends what you read. If you think reading 50 shades of grey is going to lead you on a path to self improvement you're not gonna get very far! :pac:

Also, sign up to a gym.

tigger123

I go to the gym a few times during the week, and cycle a bit too. If anyone is thinking about starting to exercise I'd highly recommend cycling though, the gym isn't for everyone. You can get a decent bike for half price on the bike to work scheme, and it's great fun, you won't regret it.

Uriel.

For me it's generally try to eat healthy, but don't always.
In terms of the oul CPU in the head, I do various courses. Just about to go into final year of a law degree (night time) and have a one year professional course primed for next year when I finish this. Studying can be tough, especially when working full time, but I find it very rewarding and definitely keeps the brain in decent shape. I have a shortlist of long and short term courses that I hope to get around to in the next few years.

Exercise wise, I haven't done a lot of in the last 12 months, but I do train martial arts, but due to college, training has been minimal. My GF is into kick boxing so when we get the chance we do a bit of our own training and pad work etc... It's good, but really not enough. I also do a bit of hill walking and hiking which is nice, but again, I don't do it often enough.

The worse thing for me however, is sleep. I sleep a max of 4 hours a night. Not good for the mind or body. I really need to work on that. If cut down a huge amount on booze but hope to cut down further as well in the coming year.

Reading is something I need to do much more of. I haven't read a book in over a year - except of course for college books - but no leisure reading, which again isn't good.

A lot done, a lot more to do for me I think is the best way of putting it.

Cyclepath

Apart from the obvious health/fitness related things you can do, I reckon you should look as well as you can. I'm 48 and finding this applies more and more as you get older.

If you look good, you'll feel good.

At a certain age, usually in your forties, you'll find that cheap clothes start to look crappy on you. So spend some money on decent clothes (I'm finding I look a lot better in structured shirts these days as opposed to casual t-shirts). Penney's is for 20-somethings... ;-)

Get your hair cut by a good barber, especially if it's starting to thin out a bit!

Shave and moisturise properly - there comes a point when that designer stubble you used to rock starts to make you look like a homeless guy (i.e. when it goes grey).

DipStick McSwindler

This post has been deleted.

py2006

Uriel. wrote: »

For me it's generally try to eat healthy, but don't always.
In terms of the oul CPU in the head, I do various courses. Just about to go into final year of a law degree (night time) and have a one year professional course primed for next year when I finish this. Studying can be tough, especially when working full time, but I find it very rewarding and definitely keeps the brain in decent shape. I have a shortlist of long and short term courses that I hope to get around to in the next few years.

That's excellent, what courses are you considering doing? I am thinking of taking up some short term courses to meet knew people as well as keep mind active.

How do you have energy to study and exercise on less than 4 hours sleep a night? :O

Uriel.

py2006 wrote: »

That's excellent, what courses are you considering doing? I am thinking of taking up some short term courses to meet knew people as well as keep mind active.

How do you have energy to study and exercise on less than 4 hours sleep a night? :O

After my law degree I will do a one year professional qualification in arbitration.

After that I have the following in my mind:
1. Masters in European Law
2. Kings Inns Barrister at Law Degree
3. Masters in Rural Environment Conservation and Management
4. Post Grad Dip in HR
5. Master of Education

and some others. Money for doing the courses is the big bar for me.

Yes it's very tough studying and working full time generally. It's even more difficult when I sleep so little. I honestly don't know how I get through it all. As I am getting older though, I do fear that I will have some form of crash one of these days. I really do need to work on this aspect. I hate the idea of going asleep, though I love sleep when I do actually get to sleep. It's weird, go figure


Edit - doing courses, particularly at night really does give you the opportunity to meet a wide variety of people as well and I have made some good friends over the years. An evening course gives a more interesting mix, in my view than a full time course. Only problem is it is really difficult to socialise with class mates as people are juggling full time jobs, study, marriages and children.

Spannend

py2006 wrote: »

I guess that's a rather broad question but it is something that I have been thinking about quite a bit in recent months.

Taking care of ones health and well being is not a strong point in men, or is it? Based on my brief observations, there seems to be endless products, services and avenues that women can consider to improve themselves should they require it. Is it as disproportionate as I think it is?

I'm in my early 30's now and I am starting to think about eating better and exercising. Both of which I am guilty of neglecting. However, aside from a physical well being I am curious as to how men actively take care of their mental well being. We all know that far too many men don't take care of their mental health and has lead to awful consequences. The stats in this country is horrifying.

From my own perspective, I'm trying to get back into reading as I believe reading is for the mind as the gym is to the body. However, this has been a bit of a struggle as I find my concentration levels are not as good as they were with regards to reading novels.

For those of you out there who are more conscious of your well being than others, what approach to life and/or activities etc do you do that you believe has helped you?

I'm posting this here as it particularly something I am interested from a males perspective but female comment is welcome.

Your concentration levels will return with practice. You'll probably find yourself feeling sleepy trying to read for long periods. Your brain wants to sleep to rewire itself for longer concentration levels.

Spannend

Uriel. wrote: »

After my law degree I will do a one year professional qualification in arbitration.

After that I have the following in my mind:
1. Masters in European Law
2. Kings Inns Barrister at Law Degree
3. Masters in Rural Environment Conservation and Management
4. Post Grad Dip in HR
5. Master of Education

and some others. Money for doing the courses is the big bar for me.

Yes it's very tough studying and working full time generally. It's even more difficult when I sleep so little. I honestly don't know how I get through it all. As I am getting older though, I do fear that I will have some form of crash one of these days. I really do need to work on this aspect. I hate the idea of going asleep, though I love sleep when I do actually get to sleep. It's weird, go figure


Edit - doing courses, particularly at night really does give you the opportunity to meet a wide variety of people as well and I have made some good friends over the years. An evening course gives a more interesting mix, in my view than a full time course. Only problem is it is really difficult to socialise with class mates as people are juggling full time jobs, study, marriages and children.

Why is it difficult to get eight hours sleep. That leaves 16 hours in the day.

Fukuyama

I actually started a thread on another site (I cheat on Boards sometimes :P ) about improving myself.

I want to get back into French, get fitter, eat better and a few other personal goals too. In general I think having goals and being proactive will hold off feeling glum.

Every now and again I find myself slowing down when it comes to work, college etc... And I get this creeping feeling. Like something is about to make me feel ****ty in a general mindset kind of way. I wouldn't call it depression. Just a general greyness when every area of your life (love, college, work, hobbies) begin to fade.

I'll not dive into personal stuff but in general I think being proactive and always having goals is the key to happiness.

Also, drinking more water helps keep me alert.

I also have a morning routine which involves fresh arabica coffee, reading LeMonde.fr au francais (well, trying too) and checking emails. I always feel better after it.

Oh, and one more thing. Once a month or so I like to roll a nice fat joint and watch a movie untill around 3am. Always feel destressed and relaxed during and after.

Kevhog1988

i also get practically no sleep, am far too stressed and work often 20 hr days... the majority of it driving from site to site supervising... The only way i destressed was trough a massive blowout on the drink... pull some chung one etc... Have given that all up to try and focus on career goals and now have a rule of not answering work calls after 8pm

Have also bought a bike that i cycle to and from home (i now leave the company car in work unless ive a ridiculous early start )

Uriel.

Spannend wrote: »

Why is it difficult to get eight hours sleep. That leaves 16 hours in the day.

Mostly because it can be anything up to 11 or 11:30pm before I have settled "in for the night" and have some "me time" and I really need a few hours to relax and unwind before I can sleep. So I usually don't get to sleep until after 2am.

_Kaiser_

py2006 wrote: »

From my own perspective, I'm trying to get back into reading as I believe reading is for the mind as the gym is to the body. However, this has been a bit of a struggle as I find my concentration levels are not as good as they were with regards to reading novels.

That's true.. I used to read a lot but fell out of the habit and now am trying to get back into it but whereas I could go through half a novel in a few hours (Tom Clancy style stuff mostly), these days I struggle after a few chapters

theemigrant wrote: »

i also get practically no sleep, am far too stressed and work often 20 hr days... the majority of it driving from site to site supervising...

I used to spend a fair amount of my day travelling between sites too and while it didn't bother me as such as I love driving anyway, it does leave you knackered at the end of the week.

Would something like Lync/Skype be an option for you to cut back on the physical visits? We use Lync in my current job and you can do virtually all your calls and meetings on it - save for those that you just need a face-to-face on.

I'm an IT manager and am dealing more and more with sites of ours in the US and Asia (8 hour time differences in each ) but find that between Lync and Outlook I can get 95% of the stuff done from my laptop

Fukuyama

Kaiser2000 wrote: »

That's true.. I used to read a lot but fell out of the habit and now am trying to get back into it but whereas I could go through half a novel in a few hours (Tom Clancy style stuff mostly), these days I struggle after a few chapters

I recently started reading again too. The first book or two is difficult but after that it pays off. I enjoy the classic novels and philosophy.

I'm working my way through this at present.

Zoklet: Required Reading for Humanity

py2006

It is important to keep busy too. It keeps your mind sharp and apparently can help with depression. Here is an article on the importance of keeping busy I have bookmarked that I back to every so often:

superelliptic

Dean0088 wrote: »

I actually started a thread on another site (I cheat on Boards sometimes :P ) about improving myself.

I want to get back into French, get fitter, eat better and a few other personal goals too. In general I think having goals and being proactive will hold off feeling glum.

Every now and again I find myself slowing down when it comes to work, college etc... And I get this creeping feeling. Like something is about to make me feel ****ty in a general mindset kind of way. I wouldn't call it depression. Just a general greyness when every area of your life (love, college, work, hobbies) begin to fade.

I'll not dive into personal stuff but in general I think being proactive and always having goals is the key to happiness.

Also, drinking more water helps keep me alert.

I also have a morning routine which involves fresh arabica coffee, reading LeMonde.fr au francais (well, trying too) and checking emails. I always feel better after it.

Oh, and one more thing. Once a month or so I like to roll a nice fat joint and watch a movie untill around 3am. Always feel destressed and relaxed during and after.

LOL - everything sounded fairly healthy until I got to that last paragraph :D:D

DipStick McSwindler

This post has been deleted.

Daveysil15

py2006 wrote: »

I guess that's a rather broad question but it is something that I have been thinking about quite a bit in recent months.

Taking care of ones health and well being is not a strong point in men, or is it? Based on my brief observations, there seems to be endless products, services and avenues that women can consider to improve themselves should they require it. Is it as disproportionate as I think it is?

I'm in my early 30's now and I am starting to think about eating better and exercising. Both of which I am guilty of neglecting. However, aside from a physical well being I am curious as to how men actively take care of their mental well being. We all know that far too many men don't take care of their mental health and has lead to awful consequences. The stats in this country is horrifying.

From my own perspective, I'm trying to get back into reading as I believe reading is for the mind as the gym is to the body. However, this has been a bit of a struggle as I find my concentration levels are not as good as they were with regards to reading novels.

For those of you out there who are more conscious of your well being than others, what approach to life and/or activities etc do you do that you believe has helped you?

I'm posting this here as it particularly something I am interested from a males perspective but female comment is welcome.

I think in the last few years men are generally making more of an effort to take care of themselves. Most of my male friends and co-workers go to the gym and or play sports.

Regarding the products and services aimed at men, we may not have as many as women, but a lot of men are going down that metro-sexual route with the grooming, moisturizing and fake tan, which is not necessarily a good thing. There's nothing wrong with taking care of your appearance but some people take it too far.

As for me, I've always been into the fitness since I was a teenager so exercising and eating well is nothing new to me, although I do admittedly slip up with the diet sometimes - (I have a sweet tooth. ) The reading is definitely a good thing and something I don't do as much as I used to.

Call Me Jimmy

I'm 26. I recently quit smoking. I jog intermittently but the best thing I do for mental/physical well being is yoga. I am surprised that even though it is popular that more men (especially exercise-shy men) don't do it more. With the internet, a lot of it can be done on your own.

I eat horribly, by that I mean the only healthy thing I really eat is my shredded wheat in the morning! But people who completely neglect/ignore their physical and mental wellbeing will be living with so much discomfort that they are at best vaguely aware of, and at worst, completely unaware of its co-existence within themselves because they lack a frame of reference.

Yoga is amazing because it is so accessible and for people who don't particulalry like being watched when exercising, it can be done from your bedroom. I'm not saying all men, but a lot still seem to be afraid of it being seen as feminine, which I find completely ridiculous (not that it may or may not be feminine whatever that is) but that men describe themselves as strong and yet couldn't be strong enough to have their own opinion on it or step out of their mental comfort zone. Anyone in that mindset: Ryan Giggs is a famous proponent of yoga, also one of the longest careers in world football at the top.

Didn't mean to rant... but I guess I did.

Meditation and listening to wiser people than me on subjects of dealing with hardship, maximising consciousness etc. I find extremely interesting and also help me mentally.

April O Neill

tigger123 wrote: »

I go to the gym a few times during the week, and cycle a bit too. If anyone is thinking about starting to exercise I'd highly recommend cycling though, the gym isn't for everyone. You can get a decent bike for half price on the bike to work scheme, and it's great fun, you won't regret it.

Yup.

Got my bike-to-work scheme bike almost a year ago and am glad to report it is starting to display the signs of regular use.

py2006

Daveysil15 wrote: »

As for me, I've always been into the fitness since I was a teenager so exercising and eating well is nothing new to me, although I do admittedly slip up with the diet sometimes - (I have a sweet tooth. ) The reading is definitely a good thing and something I don't do as much as I used to.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you eat for your meals on a typical day?

everlast75

Good diet is important to me. I learned a lot about food and so (generally speaking) don't crave crappy foods and can cook decent meals for myself, although my other half does do the majority. Planning ahead is the key. Having fruit, decent breakfast etc makes you feel like you are taking care of yourself.

I set myself challenges. 2 years ago it was doing a 5k run and then later a 10k, which I did.
Last year, I did 4 x 10k runs and the 14k Hell and Back in November.

This year, I'll be doing 4 x 10k run, did the H&B on Sunday (still wrecked), hope to do a half marathon in August and the Gael Force challenge too. I also go to gym classes as often as I can, including Saturday mornings. Challenging yourself and beating them gives you a great high and helps your confidence. It also keeps drinking in check.

I have two Huskies, who when I come home are always happy to see me, and they are fantastic to have around.

I play the Xbox online with a few Boardsies which is great fun and calms me down (apart from the lag!).

Re work, I'm lucky in my commute in that it is short. My job is extremely stressful at times, so I make sure to treat myself every now and again to a meal out and some down time.

The only things I would change are maybe go to more gigs, or try and get out to play golf more often than 3 times a year which is my average now. I also want to study nutrition and personal training.

ILikeBananas

I'm 31 and over the past 4 or 5 years I've found the things that work for me to keep my mental health in better knick. My biggest trigger was that I was spending far far too much time on the internet. Now the internet is a great tool but it can also be the ultimate time sink. I've spent days on-line with absolutely nothing to show for it-browsing message boards, news sites, watching youtube videos, playing games etc etc. Often this would be combined with poor diet and exercise and would have a knock on affect with my sleeping patterns.

I try and spend far less time online now and use this extra time to read, exercise and take up new hobbies. I've recently started both mindfulness meditation and pilates and I've gotten back in playing football and running. In the past I literally went to college or work and came home and went on the internet. I'm a lot happier now then I was a few years ago but I still have a long way to go to accomplish the goals that I've been setting myself. I look forward to the journey which is not something that I can honestly say I always felt in the past.

The Black Oil

Yeah, too much time with backlit screens isn't great for sleep. Am not on Facebook, but still waste a fair bit of time online.

I was mentally and physically zapped from work yesterday. Shattered when I left the office...just one of those days. Going to try and move out to half marathon distance with running. Have bought an app plan, so it's a case of implementing it. Always feels good when you get out the door, turn the corner, fresh air in your warm up on a cold or miserable night - rewarding.

py2006

py2006 wrote: »

However, aside from a physical well being I am curious as to how men actively take care of their mental well being.

So not underestimate the effect of the former _on_ the latter. Focusing on physical well being has great effects on mental well being. Firstly there is the reward hormones and chemicals your body releases during excercise and the like. But on top of that there are many other effects of simply engaging in physical well being. Routine. Discipline. Focus. Energy. All of these things feed back into the mental state just as much as the physical state.

You say your concentration levels are bad for example. You will find that regular excercise and a routine and all the discipline that comes with that - will all feed back into concentration too.

However there are other things that can help with mental well being and concentration. Meditation is one. And I do not mean the woo meditation of getting in touch with the spirit realm - gods - and all that nonsense. I mean simple training of ones moment to moment attention and awareness through practices like Vipassana. I do a lot of this.

DIY is another big one for me. Learning new skills and implementing them brings great personal satisfaction and mental stimulation. I singlehandly built a second house on my land for example. I had to learn lots there. Basic architecture - plumbing - electrician stuff - construction and more. Was a great project.

I also grow (and where possible catch/hunt/produce) my own food which is as mentally rewarding as it is physical.

But yes - everything feeds into everything else. Pursuing mental or physical well being are not the non overlapping magisteria you might think. But most of all do not underestimate the effects simply having a routine and self discipline can have on every corner of your well being.

py2006

Deleted User wrote: »

So not underestimate the effect of the former _on_ the latter. Focusing on physical well being has great effects on mental well being. Firstly there is the reward hormones and chemicals your body releases during excercise and the like. But on top of that there are many other effects of simply engaging in physical well being. Routine. Discipline. Focus. Energy. All of these things feed back into the mental state just as much as the physical state.

You say your concentration levels are bad for example. You will find that regular excercise and a routine and all the discipline that comes with that - will all feed back into concentration too.

However there are other things that can help with mental well being and concentration. Meditation is one. And I do not mean the woo meditation of getting in touch with the spirit realm - gods - and all that nonsense. I mean simple training of ones moment to moment attention and awareness through practices like Vipassana. I do a lot of this.

DIY is another big one for me. Learning new skills and implementing them brings great personal satisfaction and mental stimulation. I singlehandly built a second house on my land for example. I had to learn lots there. Basic architecture - plumbing - electrician stuff - construction and more. Was a great project.

I also grow (and where possible catch/hunt/produce) my own food which is as mentally rewarding as it is physical.

But yes - everything feeds into everything else. Pursuing mental or physical well being are not the non overlapping magisteria you might think. But most of all do not underestimate the effects simply having a routine and self discipline can have on every corner of your well being.

Excellent post. I read it twice.

I built a huge Ikea wardrobe recently. I was well proud of myself but obviously not on a par with the DIY stuff you mentioned.

py2006

py2006 wrote: »

Excellent post. I read it twice.

I built a huge Ikea wardrobe recently. I was well proud of myself but obviously not on a par with the DIY stuff you mentioned.

I am a little - extreme. I find I tend to get depressed unless I have at least one insane DIY project on the go. My garden also includes a semi covered outdoor heated Jacuzzi with build in sound system that I made for house parties. And I have a stone BBQ cum Pizza Oven cum Oven cum smoker thing I built too.

Not to mention the amount of work that goes into our annual weaponized go kart race. That takes a lot of DIY and creativity and time. I have not won the race yet though. Actually even finishing it has eluded me mostly. Getting tazered for example will do that to you

But less extreme projects are good - start small and work up. Focus on routine and self discipline as I said. They are great things and feed back into mental well being. The time I spend in the vegetable garden - or collecting the eggs from the chickens - or checking my snares and traps - is all great stuff regardless of what produce I do or do not get out of it while doing it.

ILikeBananas

Deleted User wrote: »

cum Pizza Oven

:eek: