Naked pictures

abcdefg321

I'm 17, I've been with this guy for two months. I trust him with my life. He asked me for photos and I said maybe. He sent me one. My problem is I'm not sure if I should or not because I am not proud of my body and think it'll turn him off. And I don't exactly know why kind of photo he wants either. He's 18. HELP.

Lisha

Please please please do not send him photos . Once you send it you've no control of what he does with it.

Esoteric_

If you send them, you're risking them being forever on the internet. He could show his friends, email them to people, your family could find out.

Speaking as someone who has been caught out with those kind of pictures, don't do it.

endacl

Bad idea OP. What happens when he loses his phone, his mates find his phone, ye have a fight...

If he insists, send him a naked picture of your toe and tell him to cop on.

moochers

Hey there. Don't do it, as the other posts said, who knows what he will do with them, he could show them to people, and worse still, put them online. Once they go viral, they are there for the whole world to see. His intentions could be sincere, but I doubt it. You are only 17, so this probably wont be your only relationship, when ye break up, he will still have the photos. Please, don't do it, if he respects you, he shouldn't push you. You deserve a guy that loves and respects you, and they do exist.

IrishEyes19

I dont want to sound patronising or like Im lecturing because I know its not what you want to hear, but I would seriously consider what you are thinking of doing.

You are young, thats fact number one, chances are this wont be the only boyfriend you will ever have. Ten years from now, how would you feel if that photo was still in his possession with his choice on what and where to send it.

secondly and people can dispute me on this or whatever, but he has absolutely no respect for you asking for such a thing. I dont know what age he is, but alarm bells would be sounding for me, if a person I have been with for such a short time is requesting such photos. its extremely inappropriate.

again sorry for lecturing but your concern shouldnt be how your body looks, but instead why he is asking for these pictures. now fair enough he sent you one, but you need to take a step back and see what qualities you have other than this. there is plenty of time for sexy moments and so forth when you are with someone who you have known for a long time and connected with much longer than two months, but right now you are in the throw of your teens and quite honestly could come to regret this if you choose to proceed with sending one. and no person is going to judge you badly for saying no and telling him where to go with such a request. If he reacts badly and negatively towards you, its just the rejection and the fact he didnt get his own way thats causing it, not because you arent pretty or he says you chickened out, ect!!!

now I know Ive spewed up a long post and probably totally against what you wanted to hear, but from dating experiences, both good and bad. the right person for you wouldnt put in a scenario like this when you are evidently not even ready to do it. remember what you send out, can never be taken back. ask yourself if that picture ever ended up in the wrong hands, could you live it down or would it effect you. mind yourself and best of luck with your decision!

bennyl10

Lisha wrote: »

Please please please do not send him photos . Once you send it you've no control of what he does with it.

And whats to stop her doing the exact same with his photo.. he trusts her enough not to show them around.

Gatling

From a blokes point of view "Seriously Don't Do It" you risk have your naked/near naked pictures shown and shared between his mates and anybody else in between no matter what he promises he will share them ,
That how guys brains are wired we like to show off and brag ,
Another thing I can almost guarantee that after a picture he will want videos too ,

If he likes you then he shouldn't be asking for naked pics of you ,
Respect yourself and your body

Honestly, OP, there's nothing necessarily wrong with the sending of naked photos, once you both trust each other and are comfortable enough with it. Your age would make me wary of the sending. If you're not 100% comfortable or confident with it, then don't do it! No matter what he says, stick by your guns.

endacl

bennyl10 wrote: »

And whats to stop her doing the exact same with his photo.. he trusts her enough not to show them around.

No. He was stupid enough to send them. I'm sure the OP is mature enough to hit delete.

bennyl10

endacl wrote: »

No. He was stupid enough to send them. I'm sure the OP is mature enough to hit delete.

And how do we know he isnt?
Im a guy, i would be.

endacl

bennyl10 wrote: »

And how do we know he isnt?
Im a guy, i would be.

I'm not getting into a debate about hypotheticals just for the sake of it.

I'm guessing you're at the younger end of the range on here. If so, you'll understand when you grow up a bit. If not, cop on.

bennyl10

endacl wrote: »

I'm not getting into a debate about hypotheticals just for the sake of it.

I'm guessing you're at the younger end of the range on here. If so, you'll understand when you grow up a bit. If not, cop on.

Im just older than the couple in question, which is probably more who the OP would like to hear from, than an overbaring OTT parent type.

endacl

bennyl10 wrote: »

Im just older than the couple in question, which is probably more who the OP would like to hear from, than an overbaring OTT parent type.

I refer you to my previous.

Gatling

bennyl10 wrote: »

Im just older than the couple in question, which is probably more who the OP would like to hear from, than an overbaring OTT parent type.

That's some statement ,

The young lady came to a forum to ask advice yes didn't know only a certain poster could offer advice

Esoteric_

bennyl10 wrote: »

Im just older than the couple in question, which is probably more who the OP would like to hear from, than an overbaring OTT parent type.

I'm only a few years older than the op and I agree 100% with enda, it has nothing to do with being an over bearing parent, it's to do with basic personal safety.

bennyl10

endacl wrote: »

I refer you to my previous.

I was giving my own opinion. If he sends the picture he trusts her, and she should also. Most guys arent scunbags & will delete the photo. You dont show a picture of your girlfriend around..

Don't think I'm the one in need to cop on.

bennyl10

Gatling wrote: »

That's some statement ,

The young lady came to a forum to ask advice yes didn't know only a certain poster could offer advice

Everyone can offer advice, i just done like being told to cop on based on age is all.

Lisha

Hi op

Just to add to my first post.
I think it's a bad idea to send him pictures. They could be around the world or even just your town in no time.

Sometimes I get reminded of stuff I did between the ages of 14-17 and I still cringe .
So please don't put things on permanent record, unless you are certain they will never be a source of embarrassment to you.

This could be the guy you spend forever with, but chances are he's not.

So why take such a risk now .

endacl

bennyl10 wrote: »

Everyone can offer advice, i just done like being told to cop on based on age is all.

You weren't. Did you read the post?

Czarcasm

OP my wife and I send naked pictures all the time (sometimes we even send them to each other :pac:), but it's not so much to do even with age as it is to do with maturity.

You're mature enough to recognise that there are possible adverse consequences to sexting, but saying that you would trust him with your life after knowing him only two months? You clearly don't trust him if you think he'll dump you because you won't do what he says.

He only knows you that same amount of time and he's already asking you to do something you're clearly uncomfortable with. Trusting him with your life means you should be able to communicate to him that you are uncomfortable with the idea, and he won't pìss and moan about it, he'll hopefully be mature enough to accept that it's just not your thing.

If he fails to recognise that and instead chooses to dump you, well, you'll have your answer right there about whether you could have trusted him with your life or not, no skin off your nose to have gotten rid of someone who would behave so immaturely.

JenEffy

Not every guy will show pictures to his mates. My boyfriend has pictures of me and he'd never show them to anyone. OP, if you're unsure of this then don't do it. I think that's good advice for most things.

shinesun

Serious alarm bells would be ringing for me here. You barely know him and I can understand fully why you are uncomfortable sending them.
If he cannot accept that, he is not worth it OP.

I would be a good bit older than you OP and would have to be in a seriously long committed relationship and trust him 100 % to send pics if at all.

Please don't do it just to please him. If has any respect for you at all he will accept your decision.

njs030

He might show other people and he might not, no one here knows for sure.

I think the important thing here op is that you are not comfortable with it so in that case don't do it and he should understand totally.

No one at any age should do something they are uncomfortable with for fear of losing someone-maybe in a few months you will feel comfortable with it and that's the time to do it!

happyviolet

I wouldn't do it. I know one girl who sent pictures to a guy and sure enough it got around to everyone, the pictures and the gossip about it. I didn't see them but I heard about it plenty of times at school!

I don't see the point of "sexting" myself, I mean what is the point of sending these pics and messages about sex when you could just meet up and do the deed itself? :P

moochers

There are stories all over the internet about people who sent naked pictures that went viral, unfortunately it is usually young girls that it happens too. Not only can it have dire consequences on your self worth and self respect, it can seriously impede future employment.

It is not uncommon these days for companies/ employers to go on line and google potential employees as a means of a character reference.

I'm not trying to use scare tactics here but this is the reality. As previous posts said, I'm not against naked pics at all, but they need to be private between couples in a committed and trusting relationship.

Benny_Cake

OP, the very fact that you're asking the question here would seem to indicate that you are uncomfortable about doing this..so I think your answer should be no. Even assuming that your BF is a decent guy, there is always the possibility that he could leave his phone somewhere (I should know, I've done it often enough).

If he's decent and cares for you, he'll respect your decision.

tinkerbell

OP, please don't do it. You're only 17 which is still a very young age and most likely if you do so, you will regret it when you're older. You only have been seeing him for 2 months and already he is asking you for naked photos. He sounds like a bit of a scumbag tbh. Most likely you won't even still be going out with this guy in a few months - and how would you feel then knowing that you've broken up and he had the power to send it to everyone he knows, post it up online, etc. Also, you got to consider future employment - if this photo gets out, it could impact on you getting a job offer since apparently some HR departments google potential employees these days.

For all we know, your boyfriend may be a very nice guy and he genuinely wouldn't forward your picture on, but what if he left his phone lying around at a friend's house or what if it got stolen?

If he respects you and cares about you, he should understand why you don't want to send him a photo. If he gets all pissy about it, then I think you should reconsider your relationship as it shows that he's only interested in one thing and it sounds to me like you truly do care for him so you would both be on opposite ends of the spectrum. As for him sending you a photo, delete it - it was pretty stupid of him to do that, so just delete it and tell him that you have done so and you're not ready for all that.

If you're asking about it on here looking for advice then clearly you think it's a bad idea. Go with your gut instinct. Don't feel you have to do things you are not comfortable with. There are lots of guys who would not demand such things.

joeguevara

If you want to send them you could send them on snapchat. They automatically delete after 10 seconds.

endacl

joeguevara wrote: »

If you want to send them you could send them on snapchat. They automatically delete after 10 seconds.

If I wanted to save a pic somebody sent on snapchat, I'd just do an iPhone screengrab.

freshpopcorn

OP. I am a guy in my early twenties.
I would advise you not to do it to be honest. In secondary school pictures often went around of girls and guys after a break up or when somebody got there hands on the persons phone with the picture on it.
Both men and women are capable of showing stuff like this to their friends. How well do you know him OP. Can you really trust him.
My next point would be is it decently him in the picture can you see his face?
I would also advise you not to do it for this reason once the picture is out their. It could be open for the world to see.
If you do a good leaving cert and become a Teacher/Doctor/Nurse/etc. A job that could be seen highly in the community. Would you really want there to be a chance of naked pictures of you going around.
Even a job such as working in a little corner shop the pictures could still get around.
It could also effect your family my sister has a very respectable job in community and even myself has to be careful with people in case they try and do something similar to me. I have being like this since my mid teens because if naked pictures of me went around my town she would have to eave her job nearly. So what I am saying is could this pictures effect your family if they ever got out.
I would advise both men and women not to send naked pictures of each other unless they were in a really long committed relationship and even then I wouldn't do it.

Stavro Mueller

I reckon you've got nothing to lose by refusing to send naked pics. You're obviously not comfortable with it and that's perfectly normal. If your boyfriend is as wonderful as you think he is, he'll respect your decision not to send one and chalk it down to a misjudgement. If on the other hand he takes it badly then you might be starting to see a less nice side of him. If he isn't as nice as you think he is, would you be happy that he had nudie photos of you on his phone?

bmwguy

Another girl asked the same question a few months ago and I said the same to her as I will to you. Don't do it and if you want to know why have a look at the youtube video of Amanda Todd to see how serious it can be if it goes wrong

YumCha

OP, I am definitely on board with the other posters here advising you not to do this.

Also make sure you're aware and up-to-date on EXIF data. This is data encrypted in your photos which can contain (amongst other things) your GPS location - which is frequently attached if you're using your phone. It means that say, if you sent a pic without your face, and the image was shared around - 1) It could still be linked to you, and 2) Anyone with the image could find out where you lived.

Good article on how it works here: http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2010/07/how-tech-savvy-thieves-could-cybercase-your-house/60262/

happyviolet

joeguevara wrote: »

If you want to send them you could send them on snapchat. They automatically delete after 10 seconds.

Don't do this either. My new smartphone now has a screenshot setting on it, and i'd say all the other ones have it too. Sure there is a group on facebook called "Snapchat Exposed" with people's faces being shown and everything. Do you really want to find yourself up on that group?

girl2

Haven't read all the replies, so someone may have already pointed this out. There can definitely be legal consequences associated with the likes of this. The fact that you are under 18 and send pictures to someone who is deemed an adult at 18, could have serious implications. It's a real minefield out there nowadays. But do be aware - as someone else did say - once that picture leaves your phone…you have no control over it.

Don't sent it.

ViveLaVie

joeguevara wrote: »

If you want to send them you could send them on snapchat. They automatically delete after 10 seconds.

There's an app now that downloads snapchat pictures permanently.