Mother losing touch with reality

LegacyUser

Over the past 5/6 years I've noticed that my mother has really started to lose touch with reality. She has become very very religious, to the point of being a complete zealot about it. Her views and opinions have become so extreme that we are frightened to have her around people for fear of what she might say or who she might say it to. My father is an alcoholic and has become worse over the years, which I'm sure has fueled the way she is behaving.

Any attempt to talk to her about it is meant with fierce opposition - apparently she knows "the truth" now and we shouldn't be afraid. She laughs at us when we try to talk to her about it, which can become frustrating. She has become quite difficult to be around, she cannot hold a conversation and laughs after everything that's said. She hums a lot while doing things and continually asks questions, to which she doesn't listen to the answers, then says "what?". I'm wondering has she had a nervous breakdown? I'm not sure what to do anymore

mashedbanana

Hi :-)

What age is she? Is she getting on in years? When you say losing touch with reality, I would have to consider dementia.
when you say she has become very very religious, is this a very sudden/almost over night?

There are those, (I'm a Christian) who are born again, who delve into the Bible for absolute comfort and guidance. I myself am a believer, so I understand when she says she knows 'the truth'. I feel that your fathers alcoholism has in some way, actually helped her make the decision to go head first, to the Bible, and it's teachings, without worrying about what others think. This is a feeling she may have been playing down over the years!

Sounds like, she is at the stage where it a case of...'I have the Bible, I have God, and I don't care what any of ye think of me for that'!
Sounds like she is also, blocking the world out.

emuhead

Hi OP,

Maybe gently suggest GP visit? Or if there is some kind of health practitioner that she has a relationship with already (e.g. public health nurse), it might be a good idea for her to speak to them. Or maybe you could go with her to her Church one day and try and pick up on what's happening. Take care of yourself.

This is a link to a free mental health information line / email service at St. Patrick's Hospital, Dublin. It's very general and please don't take this as me saying your mother has a mental health problem.

https://www.stpatricks.ie/support-information-service

freshpopcorn

She might have found religion again. My mother can be very religious at times but she doesn't really push it our face to be honest, but if you wasn't any bit religious you might consider over the op. Just because somebody has found an interest in religion does not always mean there a problem. Maybe there a new priest at mass who preaches the bible differently and your mother connects with it more now. I would suggest you go along with her to mass some day to see how she what its like there.Also is your mother happy? Maybe religion makes her happy or gives her some peace/meaning in her life.
However if the problem really does escalate she should see her GP!

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks for your responses.

She is 60 & has been religious her whole life, but if has definitely only become an absolute obsession over the last 5/6 years. Without doubt, she would choose religion over anyone in the family, which I find very hard to cope with. In a way, it would be easier to think she has some sort of mental illness - that way the very harsh judgement she has of others, the lack of care for their feelings, and her selfish behaviour could be explained. It is difficult to think that this has become her personality, through her own choosing!

emuhead

Hi OP,

Hope you're getting good support from friends, other family.

Merkin

Have you got a family GP? If so, it might be worth going to see them and asking them to call in on her. It sounds like she's had a complete personality change and this can sometimes happen due to a particularly traumatic event or sometimes when a person has a nervous breakdown. She doesn't sound particularly well or stable so I do think a medical consultation would be a good first port of call.

Czarcasm

OP I think you may have missed the target here tbh. Your father is an alcoholic and you're worried about your mother who is using extremist views to get attention?

I'd suggest there's nothing wrong with your mum at all, my mother is the very same, very much in full possession of her faculties, well into her 60's, but a woeful martyr for attention sake, because she wants people to notice her.

My mother will come out with the most oddball statements she can muster if she thinks it'll get her attention, and then if you ask her what's the story with that craic, she'll say "what are you talking about?" as if to say there's something wrong with you!

If you give her attention, she'll keep up the behaviour and may even escalate (my mothers taken to sleeping on a mattress on the concrete floor of her seven bedroom house, she had all the carpets taken out), and the more people that know about it the better as far as she's concerned.

This doesn't give me any cause for concern however as my mother is well hardy and if her behaviour is any way entertained at all it only makes her worse. She's at an age now where as mashedbanana says- she really doesn't care how dumb it looks to the rest of us, it's not for our benefit she does it. It's for the benefit of people who actually think she has issues.

I think you'd be better tbh encouraging your dad to see a GP for help with his alcoholism.

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks again for your responses.

With regards to my dad, it's been an ongoing battle trying to get him to give up drink and get some help - many many years, but he just won't do it and my mother doesn't push it too much. She still cleans his clothes, makes his dinner, makes excuses for him when he doesn't keep arrangements etc etc, so at this point myself and my siblings have just given up on it.

Perhaps I could talk to her GP about it, but I'm not sure what she'd say or whether she'd even entertain it? Has anyone ever done this before?

Again, thanks for the help