single lady want to undergo iui

springwater

i am in late thirties single hetrosexual . want to have baby. no fertility issues... anybody been through this before and have any advice for me. would like to use anonymous donor from overseas sperm bank. is it cheaper to go overseas for treatment and would be grateful for info on exactly what happens during treatment, timelines, cost etc thanks

sunshiny_day

Hi Springwater
I know it's been a while since your post, but I didn't want to leave it unanswered!

I am attending Clane Fertility Clinic - currently on my 3rd IUI attempt with donor sperm. I waited about 1 month before my first clinic appointment (Feb.)- you meet with the consultant and discuss options. You then meet with the counsellor. You will have to get a series of tests done to see if you have any potential fertility issues. For me - all those initial tests and consultations took about 2 months. Then you get the go ahead from the clinic to order sperm - they will advise you on sperm banks - usually Danish or US (I used California Cryobank). Once your donor has arrived and all your tests are done, you wait for Day 1 of your period. For me - this meant my first IUI cycle was June. On Day 3 you start your meds. On Day 7-9 you will have a scan and blood tests to see if your follicles are growing and your womb lining is thickening. When they think you are going to ovulate (usually Day 14), they perform the IUI (only takes about 10 minutes). Then you have to wait 2 weeks before you can test. The clinics are well used to single women using donor sperm, and are nothing but supportive and professional.

The IUI cycle itself costs about €950, but the consultations and tests beforehand really add up to about €1K. I spent about €3.5K on donor sperm - 5 vials of Non-Anonymous, plus Shipping. I wanted to get a enough to cover a number of cycles/potential sibling cycles. If you just order one vial, it will obviously be alot cheaper - but I found it really difficult to narrow down to one donor and I'm hoping I'll have enough time to go for a sibling, so when I finally decided on my donor, I bought in bulk The success rates of IUI and IVF are not all that great - about 20-25%. I do personally know two women who got lucky first time with their IUI, but the norm would be multiple cycles.

I would encourage you to seriously consider a non-anonymous/open ID donor - or at least, discuss it in detail with the counsellor. I just feel that it's very important that when the child's 18, they have the option to explore the other side of their biological ancestry/history. They're not going to have a meaningful relationship with the sperm donor, but at least they could satisfy their curiosity about basics/medical histories etc. If you choose Anonymous now, they will never have that option. It is a personal decision though and as long as you put some thought into it, I'm sure you will make the right decision for your child.

Secondly, it's very important to have support. I have been lucky that my family and friends have been amazingly supportive since I told them my plans. To be honest, I don't think I could have gone ahead if I didn't have that.

Here are some resources I found useful:
UK Donor Conception Network www.dcnetwork.org
Choosing Single Motherhood by Mikke Morrisette
On rollercoaster.ie Donor Conception forum, there's an active Singles thread which I found v helpful
Currently there's a podcast on the Ray D'Arcy show website with his interview with a single mum by choice (Ann Marie?) - well worth a listen
I've been lucky to be able to connect with and meet two single women who have become mums this way. You would be surprised how many women have/are considering going down this route.

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

Hi sunshiny day

I'm browsing information on single girls undergoing IUI or IVF with donor sperm and would like to say thank you for this very balanced and detailed post.

How are you getting on?