I fear for my families lives

LegacyUser

Hi

I came on here for some advice because I don't know where to turn. To cut a long story short I fear my brother may be dangerous and I'm scared for my family.

He has in the past physically attacked them and just recently launched a verbal attack on my mother for no reason,luckily my other brother was there. My mother rang the guards and they said there was nothing they could do. How can this be?

Now I do think my brother may have mental issues that have never been investigated,he also drinks which doesn't help,sometimes he can turn on you for no reason even when sober.

I'm just very worried about them as I don't live at home, is there anything we can do to get him away from us and hopefully he can get the help he needs. I just can't sit back and wait for something to happen.

Thanks

Diziet

Does your brother live at home? And what is your preferred outcome here - to be removed from the house, to have treatment, to be arrested? Each outcome has different routes. How far is your mother prepared to go to have him removed from the home?

It is worth calling a domestic abuse helpline and ask for advice. Also find the name of the community garda in your area and have a chat with them.

Esoteric_

If he's an adult, surely your parents should throw him out? He can't be abusive if he's not there.

miss no stars

Keep ringing the guards.

freshpopcorn

I would suggest that somebody talks to the OP's brother and encourage him to go to a GP that he is comfortable he clearly has some issue in my opinion.
How violent is he? You mother may not be afraid of him to much because she could feel that he just has anger issues and that he would never seriously hurt her.
Some people would say just kick him out of home but that is a very hard thing for a mother to do to a son who clearly may need help. She is probably afraid if she did that she could loose him for ever.

LegacyUser

Hey everyone thanks for your replies. to answer a few questions my brother is in his mid thirties so he's not a child and knows what he is doing. He doesn't live in the family home but just a few yards away on the same bit of land, Obviously we keep the door locked as much as possible but who knows how far he would go to get in if in a rage.

The best outcome would be for him to get help with his issues but I don't know if he would he may think its normal to attack people. He can get quite violent he caught my sister by the throat few months ago and again luckily my other brother stopped him so I believe he could do anything, I wouldn't put anything past him .Is there any way we can get a restraining order on him so he would have to stay away from us?

My mother is afraid of him we all are , at the end of the day of course we would like him to get help and be ok again but if he won't he must go.

meoklmrk91

My advise would be to get a barring order against him, atleast then the guards will pick him up if he goes off and your mother rings. Also I wouldn't be accepting the whole there is nothing we can do thing, they can and do come out for domestic disputes, so that's a lazy answer as far as I'm concerned.

Typer Monkey

meoklmrk91 wrote: »

My advise would be to get a barring order against him, atleast then the guards will pick him up if he goes off and your mother rings. Also I wouldn't be accepting the whole there is nothing we can do thing, they can and do come out for domestic disputes, so that's a lazy answer as far as I'm concerned.

And one that the OP has gotten second hand from her mother. We don't know what information was imparted or received. Some people expect that the guards can 'have a word' or just take the person away but not arrest them etc. there are no legal powers to do this.

OP someone would have to make an allegation of assault, make a statement to the gardai and be willing to go to court and give evidence against him.

You cannot get a barring order against someone you don't live with but again even if the brother did live with the mother, the mother has to go to court to give evidence in support of he application and sone mothers refuse to do this.

The gardai can occasionally arrest someone under the mental health act and take them to the station to have them assessed by a doctor but the person has to be an immediate danger to themselves or others as a result of mental illness and it is very, very difficult to have someone committed involuntarily. They have to be very ill or suicidal.

OP I'd recommend that you as a family sit down and discuss the problem of your brother's behaviour and decide what course of action to take. By all means get advice from the local gardai but they don't have a magic wand to sort this or make your brother's behaviour change by themselves. You as a family have to be willing to make the statements re the assaults etc

changeling

Typer Monkey wrote: »

And one that the OP has gotten second hand from her mother. We don't know what information was imparted or received. Some people expect that the guards can 'have a word' or just take the person away but not arrest them etc. there are no legal powers to do this.

OP someone would have to make an allegation of assault, make a statement to the gardai and be willing to go to court and give evidence against him.

You cannot get a barring order against someone you don't live with but again even if the brother did live with the mother, the mother has to go to court to give evidence in support of he application and sone mothers refuse to do this.

The gardai can occasionally arrest someone under the mental health act and take them to the station to have them assessed by a doctor but the person has to be an immediate danger to themselves or others as a result of mental illness and it is very, very difficult to have someone committed involuntarily. They have to be very ill or suicidal.

OP I'd recommend that you as a family sit down and discuss the problem of your brother's behaviour and decide what course of action to take. By all means get advice from the local gardai but they don't have a magic wand to sort this or make your brother's behaviour change by themselves. You as a family have to be willing to make the statements re the assaults etc

Good advice mostly, but you can get a safety order against somebody who does not live with you
http://www.womensaid.ie/help/informationforwomen/legaloptions.html#l1

Typer Monkey

changeling wrote: »

Good advice mostly, but you can get a safety order against somebody who does not live with you
http://www.womensaid.ie/help/informationforwomen/legaloptions.html#l1

Yes you can but a safety order is not a barring order which is what was mentioned previously. Anyway yes OP there are different orders which can be issued by the district court. You can research these online and decide with your family if this is the route you wish to go down and your local gardai can advise you on how to apply for one