Being taken for a ride ?

LegacyUser

Hi going unreg for this and be gratefull for your opinions.

I was in a long term relationship and it ended around 18 months ago so decided to get back onto the dating scene and talking to somebody via a dating site.

I being e-mailing this woman and we talking about meeting up shortly, i live in the east of the country and she's abroad but coming back to settle down and when she comes back planning to meet up.

She says she's being thinking about me and meeting up and going to a event that both of us are into, she also recently ends her message 'cant wait for it to happen my dear' and that she has something very important to tell me and will do it later as she's busy at the moment.

What do you posters think of the above as like this person and dont want to take it further if she's just playing games or leaving her options open for somebody else.

Esoteric_

How does 'I have something important to tell you later' translate into her messing you around?

Just err on the side of caution and you'll be fine. There are far too many men and women 'moving to Ireland' on dating sites, though, so don't be taken for a mug.

surewhoknows

Ok she could be all very genuine but for your sake you need to take some protective measures:
- Talk to and meet up with others on sites apart from her
- Dont create fantasy where you start to think of her as "the one"/ perfect for you etc
- If she looks for money, RUN

The 'will tell you later' thing is peculiar, sounds like shes trying to create suspense and keep you in touch.

m'lady

When you saying 'coming back to settle down', do you mean she's originally from here? I don't see how her telling you she has something to tell you could mean your being taking for a ride in fairness??

Czarcasm

I see no indication OP based on the limited information you've given that you're being taken for a ride, but, based on same information, that whole "something to tell you but I'll tell you later" indicates to me that you could well be in for holding out for a head melt that loves drama.

I'd advise that you cut your losses before you get any more invested in this tbh.

ted1

Sounds like she may be lining you up so that she'll Ask you to pay for air fares eft and not turn up

maria34

She is coming back? Is she irish?

homerjay2005

be very very cautious. if she starts talking about passports, marriage and joint bank accounts in the first 2 or 3 months...run a mile.

be careful.

Emme

If she mentions money run!

Keep your options open, that's what most people do on dating sites.

Merkin

I'd be deleting her if I were you. Primarily because you are obviously over-invested in this. You haven't even met the woman and she's enough of a head wreck already for you to have started a thread over. That's not a good sign. Genuinely. Maybe learn from this to take a more casual and easy breezy approach to online dating and take it with a very generous pinch of salt.

How long have you been communicating online exactly?

Secondly, and in my own VAST experience of having dated a veritable rogues gallery of the weird and the wonderful (;):eek::)) - people who aren't straight up and attempt to play with your head like this should be steered clear of. So should people who are too intense from the get-go.

What is so important exactly? Used she be a man? Has she already got a boyfriend? Does she need money for her air fare? Or is it going to be some puke-inducing declaration of having fallen in love with you even though she doesn't know you from Adam? And why on Earth would you care? You don't know her. Anyone can portray themselves as anything when online and I know forging an apparently real connection online with someone can feel very intense but you need to err on the side of caution until you've met someone in real life.

Let her go massage her own ego somewhere else and block her. My instinct tells me she's a head melt and the fact that this is causing you anxiety already is not a good sign.

Pretty Polly

Surely if something was that important she would have been able to tell you there and then. That kind of thing is really annoying.

As Merkin said I do think you are a bit over invested in this especially seeing as you haven't met the girl yet. Did she say when she would be moving to Ireland?

LegacyUser

I really think that you are being played OP. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if some complicated story about an ex/current BF/parter came up, whereby she needs to move in with you quickly or needs money. I'd advise you to cease all contact and block her email & phone number.

My opinion is obviously just from a stranger with very limited info, but the fact that you are posting here at all means to me that you know in your gut that something just is not right. Get out quickly while you can.

Paco Rodriguez

I think this could be a scam. I havent had them on dating sites but I have often experienced it on penpal sites.

Every scammer referred to me as 'my dear'.....EVERY one.

I had a girl who was seemingly very nice and then had a story about how she needed 5,000 to travel here.

Another had been using a translation software that cost a few thousand and her free trial was running out...but she was desperate to keep in touch.

Walk away would be my advice. Or at least go along with it to see what story she has for experience sake.
I know it might sound strange but if someone writes to me as 'my dear' I dont reply.