Monthly Meet Up - Friday August 9th -J.W. Sweetmans/Messrs Maguire on the Quays

manic mailman

Thought it high time someone got the ball rolling, so here goes!

Usual malark but for those who don't know we've been having a monthly meet up for the past 7 months - so to keep things going and let's together on Friday (the 9th) at J.W. Sweetmans/Messrs Maguire on the Quays.

Table t'will be booked nearer the time - Messrs generally have a fair bit o' seating regardless.

Like always everyone is of course invited to come along, more the merrier and all that malark!

I think this message from the last meetup bears repeating - i.e. "The idea is that we can both put names to faces and generally just chat, LOL at and share our tales of homosexuality! So whether you're out to the oldest sister of your best friends great granny or still coming to terms with the whole thing, come along!".

Also, for those newbies on the fence, here's a feedback thread you might like to take a look at! - http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=83284656

And again this too - Just as a side note to mention that the purpose of these meet-ups is not a hook-up - rather a support group giving everyone a chance to help someone out beside you, simply by sharing experiences. I feel that it is important that we do not lose sight of this as so many have benefited from it and it would be a great shame if it ceased!

Copy & Paste your username into the list below if you can make it;

LIST!

1) Manicmailman
2)
3)

playedalive

Bring it on! :cool:



1) Manicmailman
2) playedalive
3)

Rothmans

Hopefully I can make this one. Its dependant on the work roster of course, but at this stage its looking like I can make it , so I'll provisionally put my name down;

1) Manicmailman
2) playedalive
3) Rothmans
4)

Peadar06

ALso if not in work, I will try and make it.

1) Manicmailman
2) playedalive
3) Rothmans
4)

I have just realised that I can't go as I am in hospital that day.

Peter

face1990

Missed the last two, so I'm glad I can finally make it to this one!


1) Manicmailman
2) playedalive
3) Rothmans
4) face1990

tster

1) Manicmailman
2) playedalive
3) Rothmans
4) face1990
5) tster

I'll go, work dependant. Where is everyone!! Gone are the days when there'd be 30 people at these things!!!

LegacyUser

tster wrote: »

Where is everyone!! Gone are the days when there'd be 30 people at these things!!!

Sadly, some people just don't know what's good for them.

Admittedly, there's probably a bunch of people who are now great friends from this and don't need meet-ups so much. There should be a constant stream of newbies though. The problem of meeting gay friends has not gone away.

One thing I might beware of is giving the false impression of being too cliquey. Even though you might be actively trying to help newbies, the sense of joining a group of people that know each other very well already, might put people off. It may be useful to emphasise the new people that have come on each night and avoid "you had to be there" type in-jokes.

And if that sounds too negative, let me say that I'm absolutely confident that people have met best friends and maybe even had serious relationships, because of these meet-ups.

manic mailman

tster wrote: »

1) Manicmailman
2) playedalive
3) Rothmans
4) face1990
5) tster

I'll go, work dependant. Where is everyone!! Gone are the days when there'd be 30 people at these things!!!

I know, I'm so </3....think it's something to do with the absolute shambles of a first post I put up....no structure whatsoever haha.

I REGRET NOTHING.

face1990

SomePeople wrote: »

One thing I might beware of is giving the false impression of being too cliquey.

That's something that, with varying degrees of success, we were trying to avoid.

Although at this stage any clique that there was is being slowly eroded by emigration.

As for more newbies, I hope the start of the new college term will bring new faces.
I also think another feedback thread would be good so that people who are thinking of going along can get an idea of what the meetup is like, and so that we can start making the meetups more 'newbie friendly' in whatever ways we can.

face1990

tster wrote: »

Gone are the days when there'd be 30 people at these things!!!

Back in the day when Messrs was all orange groves, far as the eye could see...:(

bicloset

This may seem abit absurd, but perhaps find out from those who have stopped going, is it just due to other commitments work, ect that they havent returned or that the college term is over.
I've only been to 3, but on my 1st there was 20plus people there, alot from then who never returned.
Only a suggestion!

mackD

SomePeople wrote: »

Sadly, some people just don't know what's good for them.

Admittedly, there's probably a bunch of people who are now great friends from this and don't need meet-ups so much. There should be a constant stream of newbies though. The problem of meeting gay friends has not gone away.

One thing I might beware of is giving the false impression of being too cliquey. Even though you might be actively trying to help newbies, the sense of joining a group of people that know each other very well already, might put people off. It may be useful to emphasise the new people that have come on each night and avoid "you had to be there" type in-jokes.

And if that sounds too negative, let me say that I'm absolutely confident that people have met best friends and maybe even had serious relationships, because of these meet-ups.

Really good post and I think you hit the nail on the head with coming across too "cliquey"
I remember when the first meet-up was suggested earlier in in the year and it was quickly established that it was primarily aimed at under 25 students.
I posted in the last meet-up thread that I was keen on attending but voiced concerns about my age and alas, got no reply at all. I took that to mean "yes stay away, you are too old" as well as coming across very cliquey as you say.

I just think these meet-ups won't work in the long term if they aren't all inclusive.
It is rather shallow to think you won't have anything in common with someone who isn't exactly like you. I'd have very few friends at all if that was the case!

LegacyUser

It's possible the nights are just "suffering" from their own success.

Even without attending one of these meet-ups, the message generated by them on Boards LGBT seems to be that there are loads of different kinds of LGBT people out there and you just need to put some effort into meeting them.

You don't need to attend a student orientated meet-up to put that into practise. Though it can obviously help.

face1990

Apologies that no-one replied to your post mackD.
On previous meetups myself and others have mentioned repeatedly that it's open to everyone, regardless of age/gender (including the OP of this thread), but nevertheless the 'student only' thing seems to have hung around.
People are still under the impression that they won't be welcome, so they don't come along, and hence it becomes more cliquey.

I agree that it needs to be all-inclusive. Perhaps a little re-branding is needed?

tster

face1990 wrote: »

Back in the day when Messrs was all orange groves, far as the eye could see...:(

Back when it was messrs!!!

LegacyUser

I actually agree with the student, or student age, policy. It keeps things tidier, if not more inclusive. I don't think the organisers should have to deal with the social awkwardness of having to deal with someone turning up just to chat to younger men.

Of course people often bristle at the thought of not being welcome, even those who never wanted to go in the first place.

(also, I really should bite the bullet and join Boards and stop with this guest stuff)

Daith

WellAnyway wrote: »

I actually agree with the student, or student age, policy. It keeps things tidier, if not more inclusive. I don't think the organisers should have to deal with the social awkwardness of having to deal with someone turning up just to chat to younger men.

Which I think is a very paranoid thought. Almost every other gay group out there, Wet and Wild, Front Runners, Dublin Devils, Out and About, Emerald Warriors are all age inclusive.

Likewise there have been multiple Boards meets before this where again they were age inclusive. Naturally by limiting to an age range the chances of friendships moving offsite or to something like FaceBook becomes higher and the need for a meet diminishes.

I'm glad the student meetups were are a success and that people did meet friends from here but there's more to life than what age you are.

lyinghere

face1990 wrote: »

Apologies that no-one replied to your post mackD.
On previous meetups myself and others have mentioned repeatedly that it's open to everyone, regardless of age/gender (including the OP of this thread), but nevertheless the 'student only' thing seems to have hung around.
People are still under the impression that they won't be welcome, so they don't come along, and hence it becomes more cliquey.

I agree that it needs to be all-inclusive. Perhaps a little re-branding is needed?

I completely agree with this although I do feel some people need to let the student thing go - its been confirmed so many times on here that its not student only but people keep referring back to it, the OP clearly stated everyone welcome and provided newbies with a link to feedback - I'm not sure how much clearer it can be than that, were all adults and can read can't we! That said there does seem to be some sort of issue that keeps coming up.

So for anyone that's been to the meet ups or thinking about going but feels excluded get posting on the feedback forum and we try sort out concerns once and for all.

Dr. Shrike

Daith wrote: »

Which I think is a very paranoid thought. Almost every other gay group out there, Wet and Wild, Front Runners, Dublin Devils, Out and About, Emerald Warriors are all age inclusive.


Likewise there have been multiple Boards meets before this where again they were age inclusive. Naturally by limiting to an age range the chances of friendships moving offsite or to something like FaceBook becomes higher and the need for a meet diminishes.

I'm glad the student meetups were are a success and that people did meet friends from here but there's more to life than what age you are.

Ok, so my true form, as it were.

All those groups have a very specific activity based remit. Arguably the remit of these student meet-ups was to counteract the false sense, specifically amongst young gay men, that they're the exception to gay stereotypes and that Dublin gay life holds nothing for them.

The organisers of these meets should do exactly what they're comfortable with. They're giving their own time to organise them. Wet And Wild don't have to do gaming nights, just because there's a demand for it.

Anyway, they've been saying for ages that it's not that exclusive, but people haven't been listening all that well imo.

Daith

Dr. Shrike wrote: »

Anyway, they've been saying for ages that it's not that exclusive, but people haven't been listening all that well imo.

I'd argue because there was such a fuss made about the student thing in the first place that the "we welcome everyone" didn't seem genuine. It seemed more a way to satitsy the charter without really wanting to.

Apologies of course to the people who are organzing it and do want it to be all inclusive.

Also I don't really have any issue with a student meetup but it is August :P

Dr. Shrike wrote: »

All those groups have a very specific activity based remit.

True but I could have easily said Queerid, Gaire, meetup.com and Boards.ie before it. The fact the other groups have an activity associated with them doesn't mean you won't have an "older gay guy going for a younger gay guy".

Dr. Shrike

Daith wrote: »

I'd argue because there was such a fuss made about the student thing in the first place that the "we welcome everyone" didn't seem genuine. It seemed more a way to satitsy the charter without really wanting to.

Apologies of course to the people who are organzing it and do want it to be all inclusive.

Are you calling them disingenuous and wanting to be inclusive in the same breath?

Daith wrote: »

True but I could have easily said Queerid, Gaire, meetup.com and Boards.ie before it. The fact the other groups have an activity associated with them doesn't mean you won't have an "older gay guy going for a younger gay guy".

Except that by branding it as a student meet-up they escaped the toxic brand that had made previous, broader Boards.ie meets so unsuccessful. For a while there, Boards.ie LGBT seemed like a place for "downers" to drag everyone else down with them. The change in atmosphere is in no small part due to these guys, amongst others.

Daith

Dr. Shrike wrote: »

Are you calling them disingenuous and wanting to be inclusive in the same breath?

I'm not calling anybody anything. The perception that it is still a student meetup still is there. As is the fact that someone did raise concerns about the last meetup regarding age and nobody answered him.

To be blunt going from comments that included "What would I have in common with a 50 year old lesbian" to "everyone is welcome" seemed a bit of a jump.

Dr. Shrike wrote: »

Except that by branding it as a student meet-up they escaped the toxic brand that had made previous, broader Boards.ie meets so unsuccessful. For a while there, Boards.ie LGBT seemed like a place for "downers" to drag everyone else down with them. The change in atmosphere is in no small part due to these guys, amongst others.

Which seems to be more your perception than anything else and I'm not entirely sure is at all relevant. How do you judge the success of a meetup?

Dr. Shrike

Daith wrote: »

I'm not calling anybody anything. The perception that it is still a student meetup still is there. As is the fact that someone did raise concerns about the last meetup regarding age and nobody answered him.

They said that was an unfortunate oversight.

Daith wrote: »

To be blunt going from comments that included "What would I have in common with a 50 year old lesbian" to "everyone is welcome" seemed a bit of a jump.

That just sounds like an off-the-cuff remark that someone might think better of later. I don't think it reflects a profound deficiency on someone's part.

Daith wrote: »

Which seems to be more your perception than anything else and I'm not entirely sure is at all relevant. How do you judge the success of a meetup?

Perhaps my perception is extremely relevant? I've been in the wars when it's come to gay forums and meet-ups and perceptions of sites. Maybe I'll go into that at a later stage.

Anyway this is turning into an argument rather than an exchange of views. I avoided full on Boards.ie LGBT discussions previously, because I don't have the time for that kind of intellectual and emotional commitment. So you'll have to excuse me if I don't pursue these discussion in greater depth.

Daith

Dr. Shrike wrote: »

That just sounds like an off-the-cuff remark that someone might think better of later. I don't think it reflects a profound deficiency on someone's part.

I'm not going to argue other points as it's going off topic but I never suggested that the remark was any reflection on the person. It was just an example of the comments and why the perception still stands even if people do want it changed.

lyinghere

I rushed my reply earlier as I was half asleep but all I want to say is I'm over 25 and not been a student for a few years. I was welcome at meet ups -there was no issue. There are many people from varying ages and backgrounds attending.

All are welcome, a major aim of the meets up was to help people through coming out process, if you feel you would benefit or can help others from such a group everyone would be very pleased to see you there.

I'm not even going to be attending any time soon as I'm out country however I sinceraly hope other do take a chance and attend and get as much out of it as I have. Its not a closed off cligue as suggested and witnessed on here with regular attendees suggesting to everyone to attend, Newbies will be made welcome.

manic mailman

Off topic: Woah....

On topic: Looking forward to Friday

Annasopra

Hey everyone - please put your feedback in the dedicated thread and dont derail this thread


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=83284656

Annasopra

I might be around myself at some stage on Friday night.

Doug89

I'm back in Ireland and even Dublin, so I might try and pop in on Friday - quick question though, I went to a lot of gay things during the year in France, and I was ALWAYS THE ONLY BLOODY GIRLLLL, not that I minded hugely, but every time like! So....are yous all boys??

lyinghere

Doug89 wrote: »

I'm back in Ireland and even Dublin, so I might try and pop in on Friday - quick question though, I went to a lot of gay things during the year in France, and I was ALWAYS THE ONLY BLOODY GIRLLLL, not that I minded hugely, but every time like! So....are yous all boys??

Its normally all lads (except for a girl meeting them in club last time think??) but there's been a few girls on here who have expressed interest, hopefully some of the other girls might go if they know your definitely going now .

You can be their leader !

manic mailman

Considering the thread went a bit off kilter there I feel it's no harm mentioning again that all are welcome be they men women older or younger. .

Regardless....I plan on throwing down some terribly cheesy dance moves on whatever dancefloor we frequent