Allowing yours kids out alone

Love2love

Following a thread in AH about Cotton-wool kids, I'm wondering what the generally consensus about the age to let you child play out alone. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and I wouldn't dream of allowing them to play outside alone. I live on a busy main road in Dublin in an area I'm not familiar with although, I can't see my if my opinion would be different if I lived where I grew up. Anyway, what do you guys think?

pwurple

Mine is two, she can go out and play in the back garden, climbing trees or making daisy chains (and does, every day we are there), but it's well secured and I can see her from the house.

When we lived in a housing estate and had no garden I let her play with the other kids on the green alright. I was also there, as she was only 1 at the time.

When we lived on a busy road I wouldn't let her play outside our house as there were buses zooming past every 4-5 minutes.

Outdoors is important, but not at the risk of a child under a bus.

Hobbitfeet

It depends hugely on the individual child and where you live I suppose. My boy is 18 mths now we live in a very small,safe estate with lovely big green out front, houses are all around it in like a semi circle and is mainly young families young kids.
I wouldn't let him out the front by himself yet but I can sit on our bench out front and watch him play with the other kids on the green, I can pop into the house to grab something quick if some of the older kids are out and they keep an eye. He can go out the back garden by himself and play.
Our neighbours kid is 3 and he's out playing without parent supervision but everyone keeps an eye on the kids, they have been thought to be careful to stay on the green, watch out for cars and the smaller kids.
Another neighbour has 2 1/2 yr old boy and he isn't allowed do anything, he's not even allowed run on the grass for fear of falling, he couldn't make it up one of those small kids slides himself, he is constantly being told no and be careful, the minute his mums back is turned he is gone, he just takes off and this seems much more dangerous to me than teaching your child safety and responsibility

silja

Totally depends on where you life, but also your child. I would let my 3 and 5.5 year olds out in the fenced backyard no problem, but not in the front, both because they may wander off and outside dangers (cars, though our road is quiet-ish, strangers, aggressive dogs etc). I am thinking by next summer, when my twins are 6 and a couple of months, the girl could walk to a nearby friend by herself. The boy (autistic) definitely not, he has little sense of danger/ road rules etc.

ash23

My daughter started playing outside in the garden from a pretty young age but only in the back. Then I would let her out in the front garden but she was supervised. She was about 4 at that time.
She began going out onto the green unsupervised when she was just gone 7. It was just in front of the house and I'd check on her frequently enough by looking out the window.
From 8 or so I was more relaxed and we had our boundaries in place and she stuck to them so I could let her play outside for long periods without checking on her.

She's ten now and she's allowed go into the neighbouring estate alone and call for her friend. She's also allowed walk to the shop alone which is about a minute away but involves crossing a road.

It depends on the area you live in and the child themselves.

January

They can play in the garden but are not allowed outside the gate. Lately the 1 year old has been escaping under the fence so we've had to keep them inside a lot more or take them to playgrounds. We are in an estate but the cars fly around and I wouldn't be comfortable letting them on the road... lots of other people have no problem with it around here though.

Suucee

15 month plays in the back garden for the past few months while i would keep an eye every so often. I would bring her out the front over to the green to play football or go down the street on her little car.
I live in an older estate so very few kids around and i never see them outside. A couple of the older neighbours mind their grandkids and are out the odd time but the few other toddlers around are never out. I hope as they get a little older they will be as id love for her to have someone to play with.

Suucee

15 month plays in the back garden for the past few months while i would keep an eye every so often. I would bring her out the front over to the green to play football or go down the street on her little car.
I live in an older estate so very few kids around and i never see them outside. A couple of the older neighbours mind their grandkids and are out the odd time but the few other toddlers around are never out. I hope as they get a little older they will be as id love for her to have someone to play with.

eireannBEAR

Love2love wrote: »

Following a thread in AH about Cotton-wool kids, I'm wondering what the generally consensus about the age to let you child play out alone. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and I wouldn't dream of allowing them to play outside alone. I live on a busy main road in Dublin in an area I'm not familiar with although, I can't see my if my opinion would be different if I lived where I grew up. Anyway, what do you guys think?

your a good parent.

the mother across the road from me allows here 3 year old and 6 year old out alone from 7 to 10 every evening,i can only assume its because she wants to watch prime time tv in peace.

i had to ask them to keep it down a few times,as i have my 18month old half the week and their screeching,wakes him up. :mad:

some parents are awful and i get very angry over it,when i take him to the park young mothers never close the safety gates,it infuriates me, seen as teenagers and lone adults never leave the gates open!!!

BTW i have nothing against mammies and they usually do a better more natural job than us men,its just the area where i live has a lot of young mothers who dont give a damn.

ash23

eireannBEAR wrote: »

your a good parent.

the mother across the road from me allows here 3 year old and 6 year old out alone from 7 to 10 every evening,i can only assume its because she wants to watch prime time tv in peace.

i had to ask them to keep it down a few times,as i have my 18month old half the week and their screeching,wakes him up. :mad:

some parents are awful and i get very angry over it,when i take him to the park young mothers never close the safety gates,it infuriates me, seen as teenagers and lone adults never leave the gates open!!!

BTW i have nothing against mammies and they usually do a better more natural job than us men,its just the area where i live has a lot of young mothers who dont give a damn.

There are plenty of older mothers who don't give a damn either. Try not to judge all young mothers.
I would also suggest that you get your 18 month old used to noise outside if you live somewhere built up or with other kids around. In summertime on estates, kids will be out playing until dark. It's not everyones parenting style but it's not really for a neighbour to decide if a child can play outside or at what time if they are in their own garden.

I had the same issue with my own child when she was small where the kids would be out on the green while I was trying to get her to go to bed. It's just one of the joys of living on an estate or where other houses are close by.
You can't really tell them to be quiet if they are in their own house or playing on the green.

eireannBEAR

ash23 wrote: »

There are plenty of older mothers who don't give a damn either. Try not to judge all young mothers.
I would also suggest that you get your 18 month old used to noise outside if you live somewhere built up or with other kids around. In summertime on estates, kids will be out playing until dark. It's not everyones parenting style but it's not really for a neighbour to decide if a child can play outside or at what time if they are in their own garden.

I had the same issue with my own child when she was small where the kids would be out on the green while I was trying to get her to go to bed. It's just one of the joys of living on an estate or where other houses are close by.
You can't really tell them to be quiet if they are in their own house or playing on the green.

they are playing in the estate,its disgraceful one of them is 3 and out till 10pm,thats a joke and unfair on residents who have small children,also you i or my young lad could never get used to that kind of noise at night when you are trying to sleep,BTW i didnt blame all young mothers i make that clear at the end of my post.

young,old dads and mams are at this,its just in my area most that behave like this are young mothers.

its very annoying when you are in a park for an hour and the gate is left open maybe 5 or 6 times by young mothers with kids and its even more annoying when you see young kids, teenagers and other adults making sure to close the gate!!!

and your just thinking to yourself ''you have a kid why the heck would you of all people leave the gate open!!!''

ash23

eireannBEAR wrote: »

they are playing in the estate,its disgraceful one of them is 3 and out till 10pm,thats a joke and unfair on residents who have small children,also you i or my young lad could never get used to that kind of noise at night when you are trying to sleep,BTW i didnt blame all young mothers i make that clear at the end of my post.

My point is though if you live on an estate there will be noise. Personally I agree that a 3yo shouldn't be out until 10pm. But in summertime, there will always be kids (usually older kids) out playing until dark and making noise.

Noise in an estate up until 10pm or so is common enough and it's better to get used to it than let it bother you. I say this as someone who has always lived in town and has a child.
You can't expect people (adults or kids) to be quiet from 7pm onwards in case there are small kids asleep, especially in summer. From 10pm onwards fair enough, noise levels should be lowered but in my experience you can expect a fair amount of noise up to and just after 10pm.

Anyway, that's getting OT. But just my own opinion with regards to living in a built up area.

eireannBEAR

ash23 wrote: »

My point is though if you live on an estate there will be noise. Personally I agree that a 3yo shouldn't be out until 10pm. But in summertime, there will always be kids (usually older kids) out playing until dark and making noise.

Noise in an estate up until 10pm or so is common enough and it's better to get used to it than let it bother you. I say this as someone who has always lived in town and has a child.
You can't expect people (adults or kids) to be quiet from 7pm onwards in case there are small kids asleep, especially in summer. From 10pm onwards fair enough, noise levels should be lowered but in my experience you can expect a fair amount of noise up to and just after 10pm.

Anyway, that's getting OT. But just my own opinion with regards to living in a built up area.

i dont mind the teenagers in my estate,they dont make much noise,i live in the worst built houses in ireland,the walls are so thin,that when my neighbors enter their bedroom adjoining mine,you can actually feel their presence as if they are getting ready to jump in to my bed.

they say the same thing....FFS!!

Akrasia

My kids are 2 and 4 and play in the garden out the back which is secure but not the front.
We live on a main road so the traffic means they're not allowed out the front of the house by themselves ever

Behind our house is an estate and there are young kids in there, one of the houses faces off our back garden and they have young boys living there. my young son is dying to play with them but we can't let him off by himself onto an estate we're not familiar with.

At the playground my 2 year old daughter is like a monkey, she has climbed to the top of everything that can be climbed. it's a little bit nerve racking cause she's still so small, but she's better off learning how to do it when I'm there to watch her and catch her if she falls

Hobbitfeet

eireannBEAR wrote: »

its very annoying when you are in a park for an hour and the gate is left open maybe 5 or 6 times by young mothers with kids and its even more annoying when you see young kids, teenagers and other adults making sure to close the gate!!!

and your just thinking to yourself ''you have a kid why the heck would you of all people leave the gate open!!!''

Have you ever said anything to any of them? Just say hey can we try to keep the gate closed my lad is a runner so it's a danger when it's left open.
Now people usually say oh you can't say anything to them, it will make it worse, they won't listen etc etc but in my experience when you make a small, clear comment in a friendly way it makes a difference.

On the kids making noise, that's just part of life. When we moved into a small estate from being rural the noise would keep my man awake he soon got used to it. Sometimes the kids next door make an awful lot of noise in the garden and if its excessive, usually screaming as they do and keeping him awake I just ask them to keep it down a little. It's no big deal for them they don't mind and seem to understand that my lo is younger than them and needs to sleep earlier

Ms2011

Double glazed windows will help with the noise, our estate would be pretty lively especially in summer. Can't hear most of the noise since we got good double glazed windows, another plus is the savings you make on heating too ;-)

Our 15 month old plays out our back garden more or less alone, we are lucky to have a good sized, secure decked area for him to play on.
I'm in no hurry for him to transition to the front garden, I live in estate but the cars drive through it fairly fast plus I have a canal at the top of the road, a little too attractive to a curious little boy.

Kiwi in IE

Love2love wrote: »

Following a thread in AH about Cotton-wool kids, I'm wondering what the generally consensus about the age to let you child play out alone. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old and I wouldn't dream of allowing them to play outside alone. I live on a busy main road in Dublin in an area I'm not familiar with although, I can't see my if my opinion would be different if I lived where I grew up. Anyway, what do you guys think?

Don't get worried about the AH thread Love2love. Some of the suggestions in there of what six year olds should be able to do alone are utterly ridiculous. You sound like a sensible, realistic parent to me.

My son is five. He is allowed to play alone in our back yard but not go near the road. He can go through the hedgerow to our neighbours if their kids are playing outside and he lets their parents know he is there (their kids do the same). There is no way would I let him cross any road by himself or play in a park without adult supervision. We don't live in an estate, and by the sounds of it neither do you, so I can't comment on the Green thing. Would probably be alright as long as he stayed on the green, and I'd check out the window frequently, but it would depend on the estate. If we are out he holds my hand still crossing a busy road or in a busy car park. I wouldn't even contemplate allowing him to walk to school alone for a very long time.

LoopyLolly88

My kids are 8 & 4&half and i allow them to play out the front with other kids in the estate. I constantly check on them & can see them from my sitting room. Where we live has a massive green right in front of our house.

Rosy Posy

My 6 1/2year old has just been allowed go on his bike to and from his martial arts class which is 2mins around the corner with no need to cross a road. He knows to go straight there and straight back and the teacher is a friend who would text me if he didn't show up at the start of class. It was more out of necessity than anything else- the class is on when my nearly-2 year old is usually still asleep and I was having to wake him up to take him which led to me trying to placate a grumpy toddler during the class. We do live in a very safe area though with really good community spirit. When my son was about 18months he figured out how to open the gate in our old house and escaped a couple of times before we copped on and got a new one and a neighbour always brought him back promptly.

We're lucky our garden is massive and has everything a kid would want to play with- two treehouses, lots of trees to climb, endless fruit in the summer, swing, slide, trampoline- so we didn't even need a gate before my youngest was mobile. Once he became a flight risk we got a gate on the end of the drive that can be closed so that they can ride bikes/scooters on the concrete, and fences and gates around the garden immediately by the house (that has all their toys in it) that means that I can let the little one out but know he won't get onto the drive or climb up a seven foot picking ladder.

My parents live in Dublin and there is a green area in their estate but I wouldn't leave the kids play there by themselves- no fencing, too many cars and a water feature. I think it really depends on the hazards and the area.

IvyTheTerrible

My 17 month old loves the garden but, while it is closed, I can't let him out in it alone, as his puts everything in his mouth, and there are a lot of stones etc. Also, and this pisses me off, we have a lot of cats passing through the garden and leaving little presents. I have to keep an eye on L that he doesn't mess around in it.
Anyway, at this time of the year, I can only let him out very early in the morning or late in the evening, as it's much too hot at the moment (around 35 degrees in the afternoon).

Rosy Posy

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Anyway, at this time of the year, I can only let him out very early in the morning or late in the evening, as it's much too hot at the moment (around 35 degrees in the afternoon).

You should get a shade sail- worth every penny!

IvyTheTerrible

Rosy Posy wrote: »

You should get a shade sail- worth every penny!

Oh i have seen them and they look great, but there is no way he would stay in one, I'm afraid. He's in a great exploration phase at the moment, he doesn't stay in one place for any length of time at all!

Rosy Posy

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Oh i have seen them and they look great, but there is no way he would stay in one, I'm afraid. He's in a great exploration phase at the moment, he doesn't stay in one place for any length of time at all!

We made a little outdoor play area- an old sink with lots of vessels (pots and jugs and the like), a sandpit and a little table and chair, and covered that with the shade sail. Factor 30, long sleeved muslin top and a wide brimmed sunhat and we were away. Just made sure they napped between 12 and 2. Anyway, sorry for dragging the thread off topic!

Voltex

I have a 6 yo and 4 yo boys and this is the second summer we have let them out by themselves. It all really depends on the child, the friends they have and where you live. We live in a quite cul de sac, 3 of our neighbours have kids that are the same age and look out for one another, front doors are always open and they bomb in and out of each others houses and theres always a parent checking on what the kids are up to. Have to say kids being let out really gets them street smart. They are careful around cars, they always know where each other is and can be out from 9am to 9pm only coming home when totally knackered...just like the old days!!