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Is this a normal way to be?

  • 28-07-2013 11:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    First off, I'm not looking for medical advice, just opinions from other people.

    I just would like to know if everyone, or many people feel the way I do, and just don't talk about it.

    I don't really experience joy ever. Or excitement, though I do remember that from when i was a child.

    When I look into the future I don't see anything that could really make me happy. Having a family, getting a good job, travelling... obviously great things to happen, but I can't them making me happy. I just feel total despondancy to most things.

    I try to appreciate things in my life and I absolutely know how lucky I am. However it doesn't change how I feel so much.

    I guess I feel really unhappy, most of the time, and I don't really know what to do. I don't really know anything I could do to change that, even though in so many ways, the whole world is open to me. I feel really trapped.

    I used to be creative and musical, though I can't see to bring myself to do anything like that anymore. I think expression is a great tool, especially for a person of my temperament but I lack the artistic/creative drive that I would need. I think this is related to my despondancy.

    I don't cry very much, it just seems like a lot of emotion or even emotional numbness that I can't express in a normal way.

    I've seen a therapist but I think it's reached an impasse of frustration (on her part), where the normal methods do not seem to work on me, at least not the way it does for most people. I guess I have a complicated mind, and a lot of barriers and resistance put up.

    Is this a normal part of growing up and living?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    anon18 wrote: »
    First off, I'm not looking for medical advice, just opinions from other people.

    I just would like to know if everyone, or many people feel the way I do, and just don't talk about it.

    I don't really experience joy ever. Or excitement, though I do remember that from when i was a child.

    When I look into the future I don't see anything that could really make me happy. Having a family, getting a good job, travelling... obviously great things to happen, but I can't them making me happy. I just feel total despondancy to most things.

    I try to appreciate things in my life and I absolutely know how lucky I am. However it doesn't change how I feel so much.

    I guess I feel really unhappy, most of the time, and I don't really know what to do. I don't really know anything I could do to change that, even though in so many ways, the whole world is open to me. I feel really trapped.

    I used to be creative and musical, though I can't see to bring myself to do anything like that anymore. I think expression is a great tool, especially for a person of my temperament but I lack the artistic/creative drive that I would need. I think this is related to my despondancy.

    I don't cry very much, it just seems like a lot of emotion or even emotional numbness that I can't express in a normal way.

    I've seen a therapist but I think it's reached an impasse of frustration (on her part), where the normal methods do not seem to work on me, at least not the way it does for most people. I guess I have a complicated mind, and a lot of barriers and resistance put up.

    Is this a normal part of growing up and living?

    You don't sound crazy first off... you probably have a lot of repressed emotions maybe from childhood... was your family dysfunctional.. were you allowed to express yourself... your therapist should not get frustrated with you.. that is more a reflection on her not you.... everyone has emotions you obviously have just repressed yours for some reason.. maybe you felt as a child you couldn't express them..... I would change counsellors and see someone else


  • #3
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I realise it might sound clichéd op but maybe something as simple as positive affirmations are useful to help get out of a bind. I'm not necessarily suggesting looking in the mirror and telling yourself you're doing fine but by beginning to take steps to address the lack of positivity and creating a space for it. Indulge in some feel good books or movies or set a goal to take more positive approach if you feel its something you truly want in your life and find ways of getting it, resort to self help articles/docs for motivation (there's a multitude of material available online in the form of ted lectures and links to associated articles) I'd wholeheartedly recommend meditation as a way of focusing on the positive and exploring the possibilities of the mind (a very creative process and you can access guided stuff from a variety of sources online) and using it as a tool to expand your ability to enjoy life again.

    [watched a doc by Michael Mosely doc on horizon recently on the truth about personality, (and the science of optimism) he pretty much said just what you did at the start and began a journey to try and change that, interesting viewing]


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