unusual injuries.

Banjo String

What injuries have you suffered or heard about that could be deemed strange?

I thought this bloke on winning streak was hilarious

Wacker The Attacker

I hurt my cucumber while ****

Fr_Dougal

SamHall wrote: »

What injuries have you suffered or heard about that could be deemed strange?

I thought this bloke on winning streak was hilarious

That guy actually had a heart attack, he died on the set too. Terribly sad.

RIP.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

The priest who presented himself to A&E with a spud in his arse.

Said he'd slipped backwards, while naked, and landed on a potato which was just sitting on his bathroom floor :rolleyes:

Voodoomelon

I read that an urinal injuries. That in itself would be unusual.

endacl

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

That guy actually had a heart attack, he died on the set too. Terribly sad.

RIP.

Yep. Nothing funny there I'm afraid, OP...

9959

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I hurt my cucumber while ****

That's more like it Wacker, back on message. I was slightly concerned when you failed to mention your 'nether regions' in a couple of your recent posts.

Wacker The Attacker

Johnny Electricity wrote: »

The priest who presented himself to A&E with a spud in his arse.

Said he'd slipped backwards, while naked, and landed on a potato which was just sitting on his bathroom floor :rolleyes:

That's totally true. I've ended up with various kitchen utensils up my arse after slipping in the shower.

Wacker The Attacker

9959 wrote: »

That's more like it Wacker, back on message. I was slightly concerned when you failed to mention your 'nether regions' in a couple of your recent posts.

Hmmmmm quite

xXxkorixXx

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

That guy actually had a heart attack, he died on the set too. Terribly sad.

RIP.

is that true?

i ran into a lamp post while on roller blades when i was young. I needed reconstructive surgery on my teeth

photofinish

xXxkorixXx wrote: »

i ran into a lamp post while on roller blades when i was young. I needed reconstructive surgery on my teeth

Is that the tooth?

Sir Osis of Liver.

Johnny Electricity wrote: »

The priest who presented himself to A&E with a spud in his arse.

Said he'd slipped backwards, while naked, and landed on a potato which was just sitting on his bathroom floor :rolleyes:

He was a vicar.

Wacker The Attacker

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

He was a vicar.

The Spud in the gicker vicar

Banjo String

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

That guy actually had a heart attack, he died on the set too. Terribly sad.

RIP.

endacl wrote: »

Yep. Nothing funny there I'm afraid, OP...

Source???

Fox_In_Socks

SamHall wrote: »

Source???

Oh, you're sooooo evil, OP! Laughing at a dying man!


(I think they were kidding)

Esoteric_

Ex trying to push me on the bed to have sex with him. I wasn't moving because I didn't want to. He fell on top of me. Unfortunately, he was about 26 stone and 6'10 to my 5'1 and 11 stone, so when he landed on me, he broke my nose. That was an awkward one to explain when I was asked in the hospital what had happened. :pac:

Crea

I dislocated my shoulder when I sneezed.

That was fun explaining to all the doctors.

Esoteric_

EireIceMan wrote: »

Not really

Not really what?

EireIceMan

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Not really what?

Hard to explain...
Id find falling on a potato and it lodging up my arse much harder

Esoteric_

EireIceMan wrote: »

Hard to explain...
Id find falling on a potato and it lodging up my arse much harder

It's hard enough to explain when you come in to the hospital at 3am, clearly sober, no make up on, so obviously hadn't been on a drunken night out, with a sober partner, and no other sign of physical injury that could be attributed to a fall. They were asking if I was being hit, so I had to tell them the truth. Cue some filthy looks. :pac:

But yeah, lodging a potato up your arse is undoubtedly worse. Thankfully, I've never had to cover up an incident like that. :eek:

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

EireIceMan wrote: »

Hard to explain...
Id find falling on a potato and it lodging up my arse much harder

I seriously doubt he fell and landed on the potato. That's just what he said happened!

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

razorblunt

Twisted my knee while sitting down to put on a pair of socks ... Dislocated knee cap (recurring rugby injury).

keelanj69

Pulled the lid off a tin of beans last year. Pushed the pull ring up my finger to keep it safe while I whacked the bottom of the tin to get the rest of the beans out. Looked down to see blood spurting out of a giant cut in my finger with bone exposed. I had lodged the lid in my tin holding hand while whacking.

Totally mindless. I ran upstairs holding it all together to tell my girlfriend 'I've cut my fúcking finger off!' only for her to reply 'Why did you do that?'

o_O

Capt'n Midnight

From the film JAWS

HOOPER
[points to a scar on chest] Mary Ellen Moffat. She broke my heart. [Hooper, Brody and Quint all laugh]

stefan idiot jones

I knew a Scotsman who dropped a penny and smashed his elbow on the floor trying to catch it.

I burnt my hand changing a van battery. Touched the body with the spanner while tightening the +.

martinedwards

I had a disagreement with a circular saw.

I took about 1/4" off the end of my left middle finger.

ouch.

now long term this isn't the end of the world, but it means I wasn't playing guitar for 6 months, and after 3 years it still gets sore if I play for a long time

I took a pic 3 days afterwards after taking off the dressing. I'll not post the pic here, but if you REALLY want a look follow the link. DON'T look if you're squeamish or were planning to have bolognese tonight......

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e328/gowanedwards/misc/40601119.jpg

Mr. CooL ICE

Rubbed my eye after chopping chillis.

Also got a black eye after using my face to prevent my bass guitar from falling over.

blade1

Mistook stuff for burning off verrucas for my eye drops(same colour bottle).
To say it stung would be an understatement.
On the plus side, no chance of getting a verruca in my eye.

Wacker The Attacker

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Ex trying to push me on the bed to have sex with him. I wasn't moving because I didn't want to. He fell on top of me. Unfortunately, he was about 26 stone and 6'10 to my 5'1 and 11 stone, so when he landed on me, he broke my nose. That was an awkward one to explain when I was asked in the hospital what had happened. :pac:

You probably didn't need to bend down to suck him off.

SEPT 23 1989

It looked as if a ghost slapped him on the side of the head

Czarcasm

Johnny Electricity wrote: »

I seriously doubt he fell and landed on the potato. That's just what he said happened!

When my brother was working as a nurse in a London hospital he told me that story, this was years ago. It's only now I realise how many other people know about it that it was an urban myth. Frickin' spoofer! :pac:

Unusual injury, jesus how long have we got? I'm rather accident prone so there's a few common ones, and then there's just the dumb ones, like when I built a clubhouse out of breeze blocks and then put a 5'x5' inch thick steel plate on the top for a roof. I went inside and it held up for all of 30 seconds before collapsing on top of me. The only "injury" I got was when the corner of one of the blocks punctured my leg and I had to get a couple of stitches. It still looks like a little bullet hole.

Faceplanting a horses ass was another one, but it was more the horse doing the foxtrot on my body when I tried to get away that done the damage. No real injuries but my body felt like I'd been tenderised by a butchers mallet.

I suppose there was the time my wife set fire to my pubes when she dropped my zippo when we tried the whole melted candle wax idea. That one could've been a lot worse...

And then there's the usual slips, trips and falls, stairs and escalators are the worst. If I miss a step at all, which I often do, the tumble looks a lot worse than it actually feels. I'm used to it, but people looking on aren't.


Ohh yeah, I forgot about the scar under my chin, when I wedged the front wheel of a Raleigh Activator II underneath the bumper of a parked corsa and went over the handlebars, those windscreens are tougher than they look!

on my right calf, I have two puncture marks. When I was a teenage , a cousin and I were having a row, I kicked him in the nuts and ran, he retaliated by fecking the scissors he was holding ,at me, while I was running away.
The scissors stuck fast in my calf. LOL

Oh, we laughed...:rolleyes:;)

MusicalMelody

Slipped on a donkey calendar that had fallen off the wall and broke my arm.... Stupid donkeys!

Ilyana 2.0

I got stabbed in the foot by a runaway parasol on a windy beach.

osarusan

Was wandering home drunk at about 5am in yokohama about 9 years ago, and bought a sandwich to soak up the booze. One of these bastards swooped down and clawed it out of my hand, leaving a 2cm gash on the middle finger of my right hand. Given my condition, I just wrapped it in a small piece of tissue and got on the train. Fell asleep on the train home and went up and down the line for an hour or two, with a blood-soaked tissue stuck to my hand.

old hippy

osarusan wrote: »

Was wandering home drunk at about 5am in yokohama about 9 years ago, and bought a sandwich to soak up the booze. One of these bastards swooped down and clawed it out of my hand, leaving a 2cm gash on the middle finger of my right hand. Given my condition, I just wrapped it in a small piece of tissue and got on the train. Fell asleep on the train home and went up and down the line for an hour or two, with a blood-soaked tissue stuck to my hand.

Yeah, they're notorious for that kind of behaviour. We were on the beach in Kamakura and my mate (who lives there) strongly warned against waving any food about!

I got bitten by a duck once.

I Heart Internet

Any story to do with "snapping one's banjo string" immeadiately wins this thread.

I (thankfully) don't have such a story.

seanl77

I was stood outside my secondary school a good few years back with a couple of mates killing the rest of lunch time, when suddenly i got a right slap in the face and hit the ground. My mates looked on in total amazement as none of them had touched me, it turned out a passing car had ran over a loose chipping and it smacked me straight under my right eye! Had to get a couple of stitches and all, but i got the afternoon off school at least! Fairly random injury in fairness

anncoates

There was a short lived fashion in my class in shcool for pinching nipples really hard (lads' nipples, I mean) by surpirse. It's really sore if you get it right.

Probably apocryphal, but apparently some guy squeezed another lad's nipple so hard they claimed that it kinda popped at the top and a little bit of clear stuff lesaked out of it.

I Heart Internet

Of course there was the lad in my school who had his ear yanked so hard by one of the teachers it parted company with his head.

Urban myth I'm sure.....every school has a few I'm sure.

Czarcasm

seanl77 wrote: »

I was stood outside my secondary school a good few years back with a couple of mates killing the rest of lunch time, when suddenly i got a right slap in the face and hit the ground. My mates looked on in total amazement as none of them had touched me, it turned out a passing car had ran over a loose chipping and it smacked me straight under my right eye! Had to get a couple of stitches and all, but i got the afternoon off school at least! Fairly random injury in fairness

Jesus! That was both very unlucky and incredibly lucky at the same time! :eek:

seanl77

Czarcasm wrote: »

Jesus! That was both very unlucky and incredibly lucky at the same time! :eek:

Yeah, i class it as lucky to be honest. Could have been a lot worse than a couple of stitches. Still mates with a lad that was there, he often slags me about it! The day i took a dive untouched!

Ihatecuddles-old

We were doing art in 5th class,someone across the table had the sellotape. I stood up, reached across, using it backwards, slipped and cut my wrist open. Have loads of tiny scars on my wrist now

I am pie

managed to get an umbellical hernia, which is more unpleasant looking than anything else.

All tucked up now.

petes

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Any story to do with "snapping one's banjo string" immeadiately wins this thread.

I (thankfully) don't have such a story.

I have!