torn between two lovers

LegacyUser

I met a guy last year, we dated for seven months and everything was pretty cool. I wont say perfect, but dating should never be perfect - there are always going to be hitches. But as dating goes, it was pretty great.

We broke up. It was hard. But we stayed friends. Then we both started dating again. I admit I did everything in my power to stop him dating someone else - I was less over it than he was.

But then I met someone, someone cool. Then suddenly, the tables turned, he wanted to stop me seeing this guy. I totally understand it's hard to let someone move on. Been through this before.

However, now, he says he wants to take things casually and see how it goes. When we first broke up I would have jumped at this opportunity. Now? Maybe the fact that I can have him, I don't really want him. I love his friendship and will always value it. But we broke up for a reason and those reasons will never change.

Let's call them A, the one I dated, and B, the one I just met.

Issue is A is from the outside perfect - financial stability, good education, funny, smart, kinda posh - and my family are kinda posh.

B is from a similar upbringing to me but turned out his total own person. He looks like a junkie, he sounds like a junkie, and at times he gets into a little bit of trouble.

Mostly, sad as it is, I feel I should choose the one my family would like better.
I am also terrified to lose A's friendship if I dated B, A loathes B, for no other reason than he knows I kinda like him.

Sorry if this is nonsensical - my head is a mess.

Really I guess is what I'm asking is should I risk all for B, or play it safe, and settle, for A - the one my family would love, the one that I still have feelings for, but ultimately the one that I can't be sure it'll ever work with?

StillWaters

Neither option sounds great. What are you doing still involved with A? Stopping each other seeing other people. That is toxic. Cut ties and move on.
You have no respect for B, describing him as similar to a junkie. You sound very young. Stop messing around with Bs head and let them both go.

This obsession with poshness and pleasing your family is indicative of immaturity. Sorry, but you really need to grow up a bit before embarking on another relationship.

December2012

Neither are fulfilling your needs, therefore neither is the one you should be with.

m'lady

How about forgetting what your family would like and what you WANT?

Totally agree with previous poster your obsession with them being posh is very immature, what difference does that make in the grand scheme of things?

Lorna123

I think you know that A is the guy for you. You are branching out and having a bit of fun with B but you know in your heart that B is not your type.

Merkin

I think if it's not blatantly obvious then neither guy is right for you. When you find someone you really love and want to be with then nothing will stand in your way.

JenEffy

Why do you have to choose either of them? Your family shouldn't influence your choice anyway. Try being by yourself for a while to figure out what you want.