Confused

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I apologise in advance for what will probably read like verbal diarrhea because I am confused about this myself.

I have been dating someone for about three weeks now. We met online - on a dating site. He is really nice, lovely and I am into him but I am not sure if I should keep seeing him.

I honestly don't know where to start (mostly because I've thought and thought about this and I am tired of doing so) so I'll just set this in bullet form.

-He suggested we stop seeing other people. I wasn't sure about it in the beginning but I thought about it and agreed;
-We also agreed not to label it;
-I have met his friends and him, mine. I have met some of his family;
-We both still have our profiles up even though I've taken the photo off mine;
- He is not big into travelling, I am;
-I leave in 5 weeks for another continent and there's an 80% chance I'll be back but depending on how things play out during my stay there, I might not;
-I didn't expect to meet someone I would fall for so quickly. It was only meant to be casual dating;
-I was using his computer this week when curiosity got the better of me and I looked at his online dating page (I know. I know. It's a ****ty thing to do and I shouldn't have. I feel horrible enough already). I wanted to see the other girls he had been writing to - I admit it was not my finest moment. He found out. He rightfully flew off a handle. I got defensive. I said some things I should have thought about before saying out loud. Things that included my doubts about pursuing this any further;
- I have emotional baggage and so does he;
-We haven't really talked since;
-He went to a festival today with his friends and during our fight, he mentioned that before all of that he had decided that he was going to be faithful;
- I don't understand - if he expects me not to go on dates with other people, why does he have to 'decide' to be faithful. I would have thought that was a given? I haven't said anything to him about it but if he does hook up with anyone, I am definitely getting out of this;
-My friends think I have a pattern. That I always do this whenever I like someone. This being finding reasons to run. Do you guys think all these doubts are valid reasons to nip this in the bud before things get serious?

Thanks for reading.

Merkin

You should not be experiencing this level of head fcukery at a mere three weeks in, doesn't sound worth the hassle to be honest. Go off and enjoy your holiday without any ties and don't bother with something that doesn't bode well.

Why did you go on his online dating profile? It doesn't matter about the girls he was talking to.

Esoteric_

I have to echo the question above. Why did you log into his profile? Who cares what he said to other girls before he met you. It's a dating site, you knew full well he'd have been chatting up women before meeting you, so why read it? I'd fly off the handle at that too, in his position.


I dunno, OP. It does sound to me a bit like you just want to run away from it. However, it sounds like a complete head wreck of a relationship, so I wouldn't blame you for ending it now. The 'deciding' to stay faithful comment struck me. If ye have agreed not to see other people, why would he even have been considering hooking up with somebody at a festival?

If I were in your position, I'd end it before it gets even more messy.