Stuck, stagnating, indecisive & confused

surewhoknows

As a 35 year old female Im finding myself stagnated, somewhat lonely, somewhat bored and overwhelmingly indecisive.

I will try & be more concise than my brain is being! Im educated to postgrad level, have a good, stable job and a house in the place where I grew up. Because I followed the dominant interest in my life as far as developing a career I enjoy what I do a lot although a lot of aspects are no longer all that challenging. For the past 15years I've put a lot of time, money and effort into my career and Im fairly sure that this has partly been to substitute for the lack of things like travel, social and relationship opportunities.

Over the last five years I've consistently had to put a lot of my attention and money into family problems, from my fathers consistent serious illness, lack of work, debts and funding a siblings third level education. Now these issues are largely fixed and my focus is back on fixing my life.

There are three areas of study that I am interested in pursuing at the moment. All relevant to my work, all expensive and I cant actually make a decision on which to prioritise or choose. I cant even get to the root of my level of motivation to complete any of the paths I could choose.

I know that there are two things Id like to achieve that are more important to me than those qualifications at the moment but both are far less achievable, namely a romantic relationship which is something Ive never had and to meet my travel bucket list goals. In the case of the former it consumes my thoughts a lot of the time now but I can make ABSOLUTELY no progress through any avenue and have no reason not to believe that this will never happen for me now. This is torturing me to be totally honest. Travel wise, Ive tried to go it alone twice in recent years and tried group trips but I hated every second of both and seem to only have ever enjoyed travelling with friends (who are basically non-existent these days because somehow all their lives have moved forward).

Tonight I have nothing to keep me distracted from trying to fix this Bermuda Triangle for myself. Most of the time I have found something but Im increasingly being consumed by frustration, dead ends in my efforts to get what I want for myself. A few times Ive tried to talk to people about aspects of it they project their own life timelines onto me or tell me I need a child to achieve their version of self-actualisation and this is the only thing that Im quite sure of that I dont need. I want something to look forward to, some adventure, companionship and progress.

Im stuck and frustrated and dont seem to have the skills, knowledge or looks to get what are actual needs for me.

blatantrereg

Try online dating if you haven't already.

Looks don't often stop people getting into relationships. People of all levels of physical attractiveness form relationships. I think most people learn to prioritise other criteria in a potential partner by their mid thirties too.

Skills and knowledge are learned through practice.

surewhoknows

Ive done online dating to death and met all sorts. I could probably write a book of brush-offs to be honest. It's not the saviour of singletons that people think.

Pretzill

You have worked hard for yourself and others, you have achieved a good career, your own house, you've achieved loads and you're still young. You would be a great catch! Don't worry relationships have a habit of coming to you when sometimes least expected, perhaps through travel, perhaps through further education...you have just reached a place where you need to plan a new route - and you may be getting frustrated by giving yourself too many goals.

Queen-Mise

I'd be inclined to look at adding different things to your life.

By all means continue on with your education. But also look at adding worthwhile interests/hobbies also. You have done a lot for other people, do stuff for yourself now for a few years.

If you can't decide between the three options career wise, then don't make a decision on them until Sept '14, and do other stuff in the next 12 months.