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Can't get him out of my head

  • 24-07-2013 8:54am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    Long time poster, but unreg for this.

    I am 33 was going out with someone there for 5 months. Was very fast and we were having a great time. Went on hols, and when we came back he suddenly broke it off. This was 2 months ago. I wanted to meet after that just to have a chat and discuss what had happened, he never wanted to. He was 7 years younger than me but was a lot more serious than I was. He said it was a personality clash!?
    I feel that for some reason I just can’t get over it, I still think about it at night, and a lot during the day. Even though I am getting on with things and working hard and going to the gym an awful lot – so still occupying a lot of my time. But I just can’t get him out of my head. I don’t think I want him anymore, but I just can’t let go for some reason! Any advice??

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    You don't understand what happened, and it was out of the blue. Normal to find it difficult to forget about him. You probably don't want him any more. Just trying to process what happened, and not able to because you don't have enough information to make sense of it.

    You could analyse it a lot. You might make sense of it and gain insight. Or it might not be possible to, and you'll end up going around in mental circles and feel like you're going a bit mad.

    All you really know is that he wasn't assertive and straightforward enough to explain what the issue was. Perhaps take that from it - value blunt honesty in people, and be a little sceptical of people who seem overly agreeable, or have inflated ideas about you. Dismiss him as someone who was just full of sh!t.


  • #3
    desbrook
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    Relationships often end after a holiday. Often people put it down to one person getting a "good look" at the other and not liking what they see. Most likely however is the fact that once a holiday is booked ( often 3 months before or more) it's harder to end things. There's always the "maybe the holiday will improve things " hope. It's messy breaking up when a holiday has been paid for too - who stays who goes etc.
    Anyway it's a stab in the dark but I'm guessing you are concentrating on the holiday. Don't - the warning signs were probably already there.


  • #4
    apieceofcake
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 157 ✭✭apieceofcake


    Hi Headisfull,

    Similar situation happened to me...after a holiday together his attitude suddenly changed, more or less overnight, and he decided he didn't want a relationship anymore.

    Because it was so sudden, I was completely blindsided by it. It's completely normal to analyse the situation and wonder what you could have done differently, I know I did.

    However, as time goes on it does get easier. Make sure to get plenty of support from friends and family if you feel you need it. I found all my friends a brilliant help to me..it can be good to talk it out.

    If all else fails, make a list of his bad points...it might sound immature, but it has worked for me! Keep your chin up :)


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