Annoying teenage girls! Advice?

LegacyUser

Well I am a 21 year guy from a small enough town. My sister teachers in a village school a couple of KM's from where I live. She is also involved in the local ladies football/comogie club.
Well when my sister first started teaching at this school I thought it was great because she was going to be near home and not miles away. This would have being when I was around 15 and it wasn't one but of a bother to me. Even when I was in secondary school when the new first years came in they would kind of sus out who I was because we have quite an unusual second name and it was no bother just stuff like your sister is sound and great at sport. I left secondary school without a bother and things were grand.
The problem is only after starting in the last year. This is a bunch of teenage girls from my town and they aged around 14-16 at most. At first they kept on saying hello so I was polite and say it back. Then after a while they started asking me questions such as did I have a girlfriend etc. At the start it was harmless to be honest. Then one night I got a facebook invite from a few of these girls. So I just ignored them. I didn't reject them either but they kept on sending the invite. One night they started posting messages on my wall and saying they loved me. etc I quickly deleted these messages but these girls started posting on there walls about me saying rude enough stuff. That is the main reason I didn't bock them was because I would have had no idea what they were saying about me if I did.
One night I was in a local supermarket and I was getting a lot of shopping because my mam was unable to at the time and these girls followed me around the shop saying that I was really sexy and hot whilst sniggering under there breaths. I just paid no attention to them but they said that they would say stuff about me if I didn't accept them on facebook. So I had to. For the first few days there was nothing but then I checked my account after a busy day in college to see a lot f notifications. and I clicked it to them and one of them had updated there relationship status as to married to me. I removed it straight away but it's stuff on her page and facebook won't remove it for me. This happened in early May.
I did my best to avoid my local town at times I knew they would be around but one night I was in our local takeaway and they started shouting sexy ******** at me loudly for everybody to hear. Then on the way out they grabbed by butt. Then they started messaging me again on facebook.
They even have added friends I have on facebook from miles away and they have asked them questions about me etc but these people have just blocked the,
I say them again tonight and I don't really know what to do? If I ignore them I am afraid they might make up a lie about me and them. Thing like that are very hard to get over. The thing is I am nearly always a confident guy and able to handle situations. I am at a point now that I can't go out by myself for long encase I run into these people and they say something.
The thing is these girls are not all directly connected to my sister some of them went to different schools and never played sport. I think this is where the connection lies tough.
Any advice?
Please feel free to edit my post.

Report them on facebook.

It doesn't matter if they're younger than you, harassment is still harassment.

As for the stuff in the real world, that's actually mostly sexual harassment, so tell the gardai. They most likely wont do anything about it, but if they have a statement from you on file it will help you if anything more serious happens in the future, or if they make up any complaints about you.

fermanagh_man

Accepting them on Facebook was a big mistake

You have to end this messing around quickly - report it to whoever as these girls think they are in control

jellyboy

Hi op

Go to the guards

this could very easily turn on its head
you could find yourself trying to explain why a 21 year man accepted a 15/16 year old on Facebook


prevention is better than a cure

Lorna123

Get these kids off your facebook page by unfriending them. Go to your timeline page and then click on friends, click on the friends tab beside their names and on the menu unfriend them. Stop entertaining them. Ignore them. You see them in a shop and just look the other way. They will soon move on to the next sucker.

Esoteric_

Don't just unfriend them, block them. Who gives a shít what they're saying?

Also go speak to the Gardaí, sexual harassment is still harassment, no matter who the perpetrator/victim. They most likely won't do anything (although they may have a quiet word), but it will be on file that you made a complaint, in case these girls ever go down a more sinister route when they see you're not reciprocating anything they're doing.

LegacyUser

+1 on accepting them on Facebook was big mistake - you let them think that they could get you to do things.

I would be suspicious that they plan on gradually escalating things to the point of threatening to accuse you of molestation something in order to extort money from you.

Although they could be just messing and having a laugh at your expense.

Either way when they next confront you with their crap and threatening to say bad things you should simply reply:

"what you are threatening to do is defamation and if you proceed I will take action against you in to court. You might think this is all funny now but I'd like to see how funny you think it is when you have to stand in front of a Judge and explain your actions" .

In fact inform them that they have already defamed your character by posting that they were married to you on facebook. This would qualify as defamation as a 21 year old marrying a 15/16 year old is illegal without a court's permission and could be seen as damaging your character. Tell them that you could already take legal action on this alone.

I'd say this would wipe the grin off their faces fairly quickly. C*nts.

Note that as this takes place in a public place you are entitled to record the conversation. I wouldn't video it though as they are minors and it's illegal to film a minor but I think audio is OK.

Chucky the tree

I'd be careful of going to Guards straight away. I doubt they'll take much notice and it could look pretty bad for you if it gets out. I'd go to the parents first before going to the Guards.

Lux23

Talk to their parents? Have you mentioned it to your sister?

Neyite

I think you need to contact parents as well as the gardai. These girls seem capable of saying anything, and have no regard for the repercussions of what they say. They could easily claim that YOU are the one pursuing them. Or worse.

Call into a garda station to get advice - maybe the community garda?. Make sure its logged so that if allegations were made down the line, there is a clear record and timeline.

Would it be worth contacting the school heads to discuss how best to approach the issue too. Often they might have insight into the people involved that could be helpful.

pwurple

fermanagh_man wrote: »

Accepting them on Facebook was a big mistake

You have to end this messing around quickly - report it to whoever as these girls think they are in control

I don't think he did accept them on facebook? He said he ignored the request. Or am I missing a bit?

mud

pwurple wrote: »

I don't think he did accept them on facebook? He said he ignored the request. Or am I missing a bit?

Yes, he said he had to:

they said that they would say stuff about me if I didn't accept them on facebook. So I had to

OP as a woman who has a somewhat similar problem with a gang of teenage boys albeit I am a good few years older than you my advice is to tell their parents. Stop giving them power. Defriend and block them on FB.

December2012

You should print off screen grabs first and make copies.

kylith

Unfriend them and speak to their parents. I wouldn't make a complaint to the gardaí, but I would report to them that a bunch of 16 year old girls have taken to following you around, so that just in case any of them makes any unsavoury claims the gardaí will have a record that you did not encourage the situation.

Having been a 16 year old girl I can confirm that they are often lacking in decorum and any kind of discretion when it comes to men they find attractive.

kob29

Print copies of what theyre posting, then block them and go strongly at facebook telling them that this harassment will be becoming a legal issue in the near future, keep a copy of your contact with facebook, a diary of their contact with you, get copies of what they're posting to their parents and get it on file with the gardai.
It only takes one of these hormonally charged youngsters to need to save face to make an accusation.

DEFINITELY print off your evidence first. Harassment is harassment.

ls91

teens will be treens. the best way to deal with it is ignore them, block them on facebook more importantly that way they don't really have as much to play around with. just try to give them as little bait as possible, if you see them go somewhere else, they'll soon forget about it and move onto the next fun person to talk about/interact with. I know as teens we'd go from person to person in the locality like we went through a phase of asking for free chips from the local chippy or whatever. just stare them out or respond calmly/maturely. and at least their not bullying you or throwing stuff at you, there are worse forms of teen antics you could be subject to than have them fancy you! personally i think your overreacting a tad im 21 too and had similar situations with my brothers friends but they soon get over it once they know you and know what your about.

Czarcasm

OP you behaved and are behaving very immaturely about this. That's why these girls are escalating in ripping the piss out of you, because you're rising to it every single time.

Cut them off your facebook for christ sake, forget about this "I want to know what they're saying about me". Let them say what they like about you. I can almost guarantee you the only person that gives a damn what they're saying IS you, because your friends don't want to know and don't want anything to do with them.

I certainly wouldn't go near their parents, teachers, Gardai reporting their behaviour, you're only making a bigger deal out of it than needs be, and you'll only give these girls something else to laugh at you about.

You're 21 OP, but you're acting the same age as these girls, and that's why they find you an easy target for their amusement. Take a leaf from your friend's book and ignore them.

Honey-ec

Czarcasm wrote: »

OP you behaved and are behaving very immaturely about this. That's why these girls are escalating in ripping the piss out of you, because you're rising to it every single time.

Agreed. And I fail to see what any of this has to do with your sister being a teacher? Maybe I missed something there.

Anyway, grab a few screenshots of their "threats" if you really feel the need to have something in the missile silo, and then unfriend them, block them, and ignore absolutely anything they may say/do to try and get a rise out of you. They will lose interest incredibly quickly. At the moment, you're reacting to everything they do, so of course they're going to continue to antagonise you.

You're the adult, they're the teens here. Stop enabling them.

LegacyUser

Hi!
It's the OP again.
I accidently deleted the last paragraph in the message last night because I was tired.
In it I explained that I deleted them of facebook and blocked the early June and I also made my profile very private. Since then the harassment has got a lot worse.
I live in the country side and these girls managed to get out of town in the middle of the night and they started knocking on my bedroom window and putting love letters/cards through the letterbox.
At this point we did go to the gardai because my sister said we had to and that some of the girls would have being her past pupils and she said that they were probably targeting me because of this. The gardai just said they were having fun and that there was nothing that could be done about it.
As far as I know they said it would go no where if they tried to peruse it. This would have happened it the middle of june.
Since then they have also pestered my mother and her best friend to get me to go on a date with them. She said know..
Please note I have kept copies of the stuff on facebook.

Ham Sambo

Like some of the posters have said remove them as friends from fb and block them, before you do this print off some of the comments they have left on your fb page and file it away, to be honest you are playing with fire here, nip it in the bud asap. anyway why should you have to avoid where you go because of these little bullies? report it to fb and keep a record of any e-mails you send to them... sorry I didn't see you're last post, if it has got that serious the you would be best advised to contact the Gardaí, that should put the wind up them.

JillyQ

Op if the gaurds arent doing anything about this get to a lawyer fast & find out exactly where you stand legally in relation to this. See if you can take some sort of a civil action against them. Even threatening this might be enough to put the wind up them.

Sleepy

Surely your sister has their parents details?

kiffer

Go back to the guards and tell them that it is still going on and you don't care if the girls are "just having fun" it's damaging your quality of life and your worried that it's going to escalate, they've turned up out side your house at night...
Ask them how long would it be reasonable to endure this before they would consider it an actual problem and if the girls did start to for example start to make aligations that led to a legal situation would the guards be willing to state that you told them about the escalating harassment and that they chose to class it as harmless fun?
Actually this might be poor advice as you don't want to antagonise the cops... just get it on the record that you reported the harassment, that it's on going and then preemptively talk to a solicitor.
Then ask the girls to stop this, then go to the parents, I wouldn't mention the cops or the solicitors or legal action just say matter of factly that this has been going on and getting worse and you want it to stop. They can go and have fun at someone else's expense.

Ignoring them may not work as it has become a game onto itself for them, whether you react or not is totally unimportant to them at this point.

Ham Sambo

I think Czarcasm has really nailed it on the head, now that I read over some of the other posts.

Big Bag of Chips

For a fee a solicitor will draft and send them a letter.

A legal letter of any sort should be enough. There's also a chance that if an official looking letter goes to their houses addressed to them, that their parents will open it.

In a small town it should be easy to figure out their rough addresses. The postman can usually do the rest.