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i have problems maintaining relationships!!

  • 23-07-2013 12:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    not intimate relations as such, more so friendships.

    it seems to be a pattern for me. i become great friends with someone, have a great laugh with them, then it starts to dwindle and blows up. i honestly dont believe i do anything wrong, really!!! im caring, fun, compassionate and a very reasonable and understanding person.

    i believe no ones perfect, im not perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. but after i fall out with someone, they seem to just drift out of my life rather than trying to resolve it. if i feel an injustice is done, or if i feel disrespected, i just cant handle it.

    i have no problem admitting when im in the wrong. i hate confrontation and do try to avoid it as much as i can. i very rarely get mad and i feel people just dont take me seriously and are shocked if i do get mad. i dont really tolerate hypocrisy and do my best to not be a hypocrite! i dont believe in shouting matches, i always try my best remain calm and reasonable during an argument, shouting gets you no where (a wonderful lesson learned from going through my teenage years with a psychotherapist dad :D ).

    i think i let people walk all over me and often i feel disrespected, but it doesnt dawn on me until the last straw. my mother is always telling me i need to be more assertive and stand up for myself...but some things i dont feel bother me as much as they probably should, until i go over it in my head afterwards.

    i have friends (very good friends) that i made in my youth and i know they respect and love me, but in the last 5-6 years friends i have made(since i was about 20 or 21), and gotten close to dont seem to stick around. i wonder if its the people im making friends with?? are they the problem??? i dont really believe tho, that every person ive had a major falling out with, could be the problem, it must be me!!!

    i have a friend now who told me recently im too nice for my own good. my friends who are trusted friends are from secondary school, i never went to college (up until last year) so i never made good college friends throughout my life. im now a second year mature student and at the moment i have a good group of friends in college, and im terrified i might lose them too!!

    i honestly dont know what im doing wrong!!! i really dont! can anyone offer advice?? or can anyone identify with my problem??? i recently had a falling out with (who i thought was) a very good friend, but when i think back, he completely disrespected me in the last 5-6 months of our friendship. i know him years, but only in the last few months have we become very good friends. its really getting me down, im trying not to think "everyone hates me!!!" and "everyone's an @sshole!!!" but those thoughts are coming into my head. please help!! :(

    sorry for the long rant too! :(


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