Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Should I tell him

  • 22-07-2013 1:44pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So I made the mistake of staying friends with an ex far too soon after a breakup.
    That was a while ago now & we weren't together all that long. Sometimes I'm completely fine about it & other times I find myself hoping that one day he'll want more again.

    More recently I've found the old feelings coming through a lot more than I did a couple of months ago. So I don't know what to do.

    Honestly I do think that there's feelings there on both sides but that the chances of getting back together are slim. So I don't know what to do. Do I gradually become more distant because at the moment the friendship is kind of bitter sweet.

    Or do I tell him why I need space in the hope of starting a conversation about "Us" just to see where it would go?


Comments

  • #2
    The_Conductor
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,286 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    If you're interested in the guy talk to him and find out if he still feels the same way. Suggesting you want space- to get talking- is playing mind games, and is a really really crap way of trying to initiate talking with him. Perhaps girls like this approach- guys do not. Don't do it. Its playing mind games. If you want to talk to him- none of this 'I need space' crap. If you want space and you want him to feck off and give you space- fine- but as an opener to talking about the two of you- DON'T DO IT........


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP here,

    Thanks for that. I suppose I didn't think of it as mind games - it's more that I'd be fairly confident that raising the issue of my still having feelings will result in us having to step back from the friendship. For a while at least

    Appreciate the advice though & I'll be more direct when I do talk to him


  • #4
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    just tell him how you feel and if he dosnt feel the same, sin é, cut contact.


  • #5
    Mozzeltoff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,614 ✭✭✭Mozzeltoff


    I was in a similar situation to yours a few years back OP and from my experience I can advise you it's better to be honest about your feelings. I really did like my ex and I really wanted to give another shot but at the same time I was afraid of what could go wrong..in the end there was this messy argument and we ended up drifting apart..I kinda regret it..it hurt a lot but I reckon it taught me a lesson..be more honest about your feelings..


  • #6
    Whiteflag12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86 ✭✭Whiteflag12


    I suppose it depends on who did the breaking up in the first place. If it was you and he's still friends with you.... maybe he wants more as well.
    If it was him.... you need to ask yourself if he's leading you on?
    Don't waste too much time thinking about it though. It may be best left in the past.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement