Farts!!!!!

Colash

ALCOHOL FUNNY CAR FART : Right after you have a bunch of alcohol, you let one loose.

ASS BLASTER FART : Like an M80 exploding in your ass.

THE ATOM BOMB FART : The atom bomb fart is loud as heck, and it smells bad too. Also results in a big explosion, and everyone falls to the ground.

BALLSY FART / GUTSY FART : Your in a predicament where you would have to be gutsy in order to let it go...I let 'em rip:)

BANANA FART : A roughly silent fart that squeaks out an odorous gas that smells like a rotten smelly old banana. .

BANANANA FART : As above, but longer.....

BARKING SPIDER FART : A non-smelling fart which occurs in a crowded place. The farter cannot be identified and the sound is therefore blamed on a 'Barking Spider'.

BARREL OF LAUGHS FART : The kind of fart when you feel it coming a mile away, so you go and sit on your friends lap and let her rip. Sounds like some one's rolling a barrel down your asshole.

BEAR FART (aka NITEMARE ON SMELL STREET) : The kind of fart that will wake you up at night because it smells so bad! They can be either silent or noisy: But they are the stinkiest farts imaginable! "Only a bear (with a bears' diet) could produce a smell that rotten"

BEEFY ONE : Sounds loud, and butch e.g.. 'BRAAAAMMPPP!'. Will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dogturd.

BLIND DATE FART (a.k.a On the spot Fart) : Happens while you are on a blind date or meeting new people. While getting to know each other, looking your best, and putting your best face forward -BRRAAMP- You pray that it wasn't heard, and try to play it off while others look uncomfortable.

THE BOWL FART : While squatting on the bowl, anticipating the arrival of a brown trout your gut blazes a trail for it by blowing a massive blast. The deep dish and hollow bowl allow for a nice reverb effect.

BREWER FART : You try to push a brewer fart the last furlong, but it stays firmly lodged deep within your bowels. You come to the conclusion that it is some form of gaseous landmark.

THE BUBBLE FART : You feel at the edge of your ass and you think that it is gone but then it pops and is one of the most smelliest farts possible.

BUBBLE BOBBLE FART: This type of fart occurs while one is sitting. As one sits down, a gaseous bubble fart pokes out just a little bit under ones butt to cause a rocking sensation, as if one is sitting on a beach ball.

BUBBLE GUM FART : A bubbly but wet fart that smells so horribly bad you don't even enjoy it.

BUBBLE-O-BILL FART : In the shower, cup your hands around your trouser trumpet, fill up with water, and blast away! Kind of sounds like a cappuccino machine.

THE BUDDAH : This fart is the mother of all farts. It starts out like a car's engine vroom vroom and then it back fires (*BOOM*)and it knocks the family cat a couple of miles

BUN BUSTER FART : 'BRAAA!' Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much much more powerful. Generally smells egg or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.

BURBLE FART : Bubbly! BURP 'N' FART : It's when you burp and fart at the same time -but it doesn't happen often.

BUSINESS CLASS REPRISAL : This fart occurs after lengthy delays at airports situated in tropical climates. After bitter arguments with flight attendants wishing to offer an assortment of Australian Sao biscuits with Albanian cheese spread, you reluctantly choose to scoff four trays of these disgusting looking but sweet smelling foodstuffs and proceed to encounter the Business class reprisal.

BUTT RIPPER FART : The kind that comes out so fast and hard that it rips your cheeks apart and makes you cry for all hell. And it smells horribly too!

BUTT ROCKET FART : This scary but predictable fart is provoked by eating large quantities of fast food at one sitting. It doesn't make any appreciable noise until it is just about through. It is similar to the worrying fart inasmuch as the necessity to check your shorts for a stain is imminent. The smell is similar to that of a small child you just picked up and discovered that they poo pood in their pants an hour or two earlier.

CAMO-FART : If you're sitting in class one day, and suddenly a little squeak pops out, and if someone asks you if you had just farted, be sure that your desk is tuned properly so that it may squeak at the same frequency as your fart. Then tell the person that it was your desk.

THE CATS MEOW FART (aka Metz's EGO-TRIP) : This fart is so funky, it can only be laid by Lawrence Duane Metz in Texas. {So we are told}. It sounds like a slowly dying cat, and lasts roughly 7.5 seconds. Also, the wrinkled grin/face of agony has to accompany it!!

CHURCH HYMN FART : The kind where you're sitting in church, you bend over to pick up a hymn book, and -PBBBBBBT!!!- a giant fart rips out. Fate dictates that you are sitting next to an old lady, who will scoot down the bench, looking disgusted.

SIDE NOTE: Confucius say, Man Who Fart In Church, Sit In Own Pew.

COMPOST FART : You know the compost heap that a gardener keeps at the bottom of the garden? Well if you jump on it you will have some idea of what a compost fart sounds and smells like. Do not attempt this one while you have company.

COMPUTER FART : The kind where you are playing on the computer, and it just slips out.

CRACKER JACK FART : Just like the well known caramel-covered chocolate treat, the cracker jack fart comes with a surprise in it --and off you go to the bathroom walking funny and hoping they are not out of toilet paper.

LizT

I think I just got sick in my mouth a little.