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Marriage breaking up - advice needed

  • 18-07-2013 11:27pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My marriage of almost 11 years is breaking up. I will be moving out of the family home in September. We have 3 kids: 10, 7 and 2. I am the main bread winner and my wife works part time. <SNIP>

    How much should I reasonably expect to pay towards the kids & mortgage? (Mortgage is under 1k per month). My wife is trying to guilt me into moving home to my parents as it would be less expensive and I could contribute more. I am resisting this as I am 40 years old and value my independence.

    She says the kids didn't do anything to deserve this (true) and need as much from me as I can give. She wants to draw up an agreement with a solictor. The question is, how much should I pay? <SNIP>

    I love my kids dearly and I don't want them to suffer and to have as little disruption to their lifestyle as possible. Also, I'm afraid of rocking the boat too much as we have yet to discuss my access to the kids.


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Hi OP.
    Please note per our charter we cannot give legal advice here, so specifics around amounts etc only your lawyer can deal with.
    In line with that and to prevent any posters from crossing the line here I am removing/updating your post to edit out questions that are borderline.

    Thanks
    Taltos


  • #3
    cgh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭cgh


    Hi Wits end,
    I'm sure this is all very scary and not the position you wanted to be in.
    the only real advice would be to go get yourself some informtaion before making any decisions. arrange to see a solicitor by yourself and explain everything to them. see what they advise you to do. After all they are the legal experts in all of this.


  • #4
    desbrook
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    Regular reader will know in advance my advice here - go see your solicitor and get their advice . Usually they will give you a "worst " and "best " scenario . Your wife should do the same with her own . Technically when your wife goes she should also get a "best and "worst " scenario with your best being her worst and vice versa . Your negotiations will have these scenarios as boundaries .

    From what you have written you and your wife are already exploring different possibilities and she has let you know where she sees things going . This is something to begin with . The waiting list for the Family Mediation Service (free ) is quite long at the moment and a delay could mess things up . So could negotiation between you in the absence of legal advice . There's nothing going to annoy your wife more than saying you will do xyz and then having to go back on your word a day later .

    My hunch is that if you both are reasonable and go to see reasonable solicitors that the gap between you will be narrow enough to jump and reach a compromise . This really should be done officially with one solicitor outlining proposals in writing to the other to get the ball rolling initially . Does that sound like a plan OP ?


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