Post college blues

LegacyUser

Just looking for some advice seeing as any time I ask on boards for advice, it seems to be pretty sound. Anyways I recently finished up a 4 year college course and find myself feeling quite frustrated and down. I never really enjoyed college the way a lot of people do, as in going out 3-5 days a week and getting laid all the time. I was in a relationship for most of the time there and unfortunately I didn't develop much socially due to focusing too much on my relationship and my existing friends to bother making new ones. I talked to people, but with college over I haven't actually forged any real friendships from it.

Now that I'm finished I find myself with a very small group of friends and not having a clue what I want to do with my life. I've come to realize that I barely have any interest in working in the area that I studied for. It's gotten so bad that I've spent at least 4 hours googling things like "what to do with yourself after college". One minute I'll feel like travelling might be a good thing to do, but the next I find myself dismissing it because I'll lose touch with the limited amount of friends that I have now. In college there was a structure to things, I was working towards doing well in exams or whatever, and heading out at weekends with the few mates I have, but now I just feel confused and it's kinda wrecking my head. People always say find your passion and work doing that, but I've no idea what kind of job would actually interest me. I feel like it's stupid for a 23 year old to not have a clearly defined plan of what to do with their life after college but I am genuinely clueless. Thanks in advance for advice/suggestions

Mayboy

Why don't you go travel - challenge yourself to travel on your own, see new places, meet new people, I never had the opportunity and wish I did. Take the plunge and see the world - you are only 23 and a whole lot of experience to come. I knew nothing either at 23 about what I wanted to do - I still don't at 40! Take each day - some people are all planned etc maybe you are more open to experience. Good luck.

December2012

Are you on a career path now? What's the next stage in continuing the skills you developed?

ivytwine

Hey OP,

Just to let you know you're not alone. This is really common for recent grads nowadays. It's not like in Celtic Tiger days where you went straight from college to a job and earned a decent entry level wage.

I graduated from a MA last year and I'm like you, very frustrated, no real prospects in my area. Almost all my friends are the same. We get together and lots of our conversations are about who's emigrated, who's lost their job, who's on jobbridge (:mad::mad:) I think part of it's a hallmark for our generation and everytime you think it's gonna get better, it gets worse!

I too didn't do a lot of the college thing, mad going-out seven days a week didn't suit me, had a fair few anxiety issues etc. And yep, I still miss college!

It sounds like you're not in the relationship anymore? Is that part of the problem or do you feel ok about that?

Travel is great but what no-one tells you is you have to have a fair bit of money behind you for that. I'm back in retail and have to find a new job when I finish in September, which naturally I'm dreading. The plan is to go to Asia but it may as well be Mars for the distance I feel from it!

I think maybe you should cut yourself a little slack. You've been in a limbo for a while and it's normal and natural to feel this way. Maybe try and have a plan to aim for in the next year and go with that. Best of luck!

coconut5

WhatDoIWant wrote: »

Just looking for some advice seeing as any time I ask on boards for advice, it seems to be pretty sound. Anyways I recently finished up a 4 year college course and find myself feeling quite frustrated and down. I never really enjoyed college the way a lot of people do, as in going out 3-5 days a week and getting laid all the time. I was in a relationship for most of the time there and unfortunately I didn't develop much socially due to focusing too much on my relationship and my existing friends to bother making new ones. I talked to people, but with college over I haven't actually forged any real friendships from it.

Now that I'm finished I find myself with a very small group of friends and not having a clue what I want to do with my life. I've come to realize that I barely have any interest in working in the area that I studied for. It's gotten so bad that I've spent at least 4 hours googling things like "what to do with yourself after college". One minute I'll feel like travelling might be a good thing to do, but the next I find myself dismissing it because I'll lose touch with the limited amount of friends that I have now. In college there was a structure to things, I was working towards doing well in exams or whatever, and heading out at weekends with the few mates I have, but now I just feel confused and it's kinda wrecking my head. People always say find your passion and work doing that, but I've no idea what kind of job would actually interest me. I feel like it's stupid for a 23 year old to not have a clearly defined plan of what to do with their life after college but I am genuinely clueless. Thanks in advance for advice/suggestions

When I was 23, I loved this quote from Reality Bites:

- I was really going to be something by the age of 23.
- Honey, all you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself.

See 1:30

<Mod Snip>

Life is confusing after college, it takes a while to get used to it. But you have lots of time to go travelling, it doesn't have to be next week. And you will make new friends, it's easy.

LegacyUser

It's not easy to make new friends when all I'm doing is sitting around the house confused and pissed off because of not knowing what to do with myself Doesn't help when I've got my parents asking me every 5 minutes if i'm going to go get a job. No I ain't in the relationship anymore, but I'm over that. I've got 6k in the bank but my fear is if I take the plunge and go travelling either it will go wrong and I'll spend a few grand for nothing, or even if it goes well I'll come home to zero money and still not knowing what I want from life anyway

Taltos

cocnut5 - welcome to PI. If you haven't already done so please read our charter. Linking to videos is banned here.

Thanks
Taltos

PingO_O

Hi op, I can certainly relate to how you feel, and not pursuing a career in something you don't want to do is a good thing, you're listening to yourself first and foremost and you shouldn't feel bad about that.

I'd say if you can still get in touch with a careers counsellor from college you definitely should. You can talk to them without feeling any pressure of having to do something career wise and they can give you impartial advice but they won't make any decisions for you just bear that in mind.

Also, I don't know if you're working now, but finding any kind of work at the minute in retail / a restaurant etc. would be great for making friends and earning money. Maybe not as much money as a grad job but you'd be surprised at what you can save if you're disciplined.

Just to add the people that went straight into grad jobs or whatever are no more or less happier than you, this is your life so don't settle until you find a path that satisfies you.