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Mixed Race Couple

  • 15-07-2013 9:49pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭


    So There's this girl I'm into and she seems up for 'more than friends' but to cut a long story short I'm getting the feeling she's reluctant cause I'm black (there, i said it haha) i don't mean because she's had bad experiences before, just cause of the whole mixed thing, and I understand that, sort of..
    We do get a couple stares when were together, which pisses me off cause, I mean what's the big deal here.
    Shes shy and acts different when shes around her friends/relatives as if its embarrassing or tries to hide the fact that she knows me.
    I've been in Ireland for like 12 years and have my Irish passport and everything also grown accustomed to the culture and i dont have a bad background or anything like that. my parents work/pay tax just like everyone else

    Basically, lets say you're a parent and your daughter says to you that she's dating a black guy. What would be your first reaction. Maybe you've been in that situation before.
    Also any advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks for reading

    and please no Beatles Lyrics my life is hard enough as it is -_- hahah

    we all get is Hey Jude blah blah blah

    Would you let your daughter date a guy from a different race/nationality 44 votes

    Yes
    0% 0 votes
    No
    100% 44 votes


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    Hey Jude, don't make it bad
    Take a sad song and make it better
    Remember to let her into your heart
    Then you can start to make it better


  • Registered Users Posts: 882 ✭✭✭darragh16


    F*ck it, go for it ... if she's not interested because of your race or what her parents will think then she's not the one for ye!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    I took a black out once, I blamed the drink.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,465 ✭✭✭Sir Humphrey Appleby


    , :eek: This will not end well!


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,399 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    I would imagine I would have very little say in who my hypothetical daughter dates.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,910 ✭✭✭OneArt


    Probably showing my blindness here, but I had no idea that this was even an issue for people.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I don't think the problem here is with the parents tbh. If she acts differently with different people then the problem is hers, in my opinion.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,780 ✭✭✭Frank Lee Midere


    Go for it Jude. The president of the US is mixed race so statistically speaking any kids you have will probably be powerful and rich. I think that's the statistic, anyways.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,538 ✭✭✭Duff


    Shouldn't even be a question let alone an issue. Go for it. It's the norm in a lot of other countries.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,689 ✭✭✭Tombi!


    Apart from a culture clash (which I have no clue if it'd even affect you). It's just that mixed kids are always said to be victims of bullies by both races. That's really the only logical point I can see against it (that plus culture clashes).

    However, I wouldn't have a problem for the most part.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 659 ✭✭✭Katunga


    Getting the popcorn ready.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,007 ✭✭✭Dodd


    I have a 21yo daughter who has a boyfriend and colour would make no difference so long is he is a nice chap.


  • Registered Users Posts: 515 ✭✭✭full_irish


    Is her Dad a taxi driver?... This could have a major bearing on whether or not you end up wetting your wick with this girl :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 365 ✭✭Israeli Superiority


    Perhaps you could ask these guys for help?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    Mixed race couples are nothing new and should be a non issue in this day and age.

    Best of luck anyway.

    Wait.....if it was Asians and Eskimos, well then I'd have a problem!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    If she's going to be that concerned about what others think, is there any point in going for it with her? I mean, it does seem like she likes you, but her worries over other people are just going to cause difficulties in a relationship.

    To answer your question: If I had a son or daughter I wouldn't care what colour their boyfriend's/girlfriend's skin was, I'd be more concerned with their character.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,071 ✭✭✭Mech1


    Her mum will be fine about it.;
    o


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭ninjabox


    If she acts different around other people then she has the problem. You should find someone better:) To answer your question I've only one friend who said her dad wouldn't like it if she dated a black guy. The dad wasn't Irish though he was lebanese if that makes any difference... I also you might be drawing conclusions from a lack of confidence?


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Jude_2010 wrote: »
    I'm black (there, i said it haha)

    Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.




    (Joke, obviously.)


    OT, it wouldn't bother me. Don't think anyone I know would be bothered by it, but then again I'm sure there exists family members or friends who maintain idiotic opinions on race below the surface. Reminds me of the recent Cheerios controversy. There doth be stupidity in the world.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,089 ✭✭✭keelanj69


    She sounds like a right old racist op if shes acting different around people cos you is black.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 463 ✭✭Christ the Redeemer


    You'll almost certainly run into racist cretins in this country, I'm afraid.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    keelanj69 wrote: »
    She sounds like a right old racist op if shes acting different around people cos you is black.
    She doesn't seem racist, just worried about the reactions from others who might not approve.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,089 ✭✭✭keelanj69


    She doesn't seem racist, just worried about the reactions from others who might not approve.

    Maybe.............

    This is AH isn't it? I thought we were obliged to label everyone as racist?


  • Registered Users Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Roselm


    Jude_2010 wrote: »
    So There's this girl I'm into and she seems up for 'more than friends' but to cut a long story short I'm getting the feeling she's reluctant cause I'm black (there, i said it haha) i don't mean because she's had bad experiences before, just cause of the whole mixed thing, and I understand that, sort of..
    We do get a couple stares when were together, which pisses me off cause, I mean what's the big deal here.
    Shes shy and acts different when shes around her friends/relatives as if its embarrassing or tries to hide the fact that she knows me.
    I've been in Ireland for like 12 years and have my Irish passport and everything also grown accustomed to the culture and i dont have a bad background or anything like that. my parents work/pay tax just like everyone else

    Basically, lets say you're a parent and your daughter says to you that she's dating a black guy. What would be your first reaction. Maybe you've been in that situation before.
    Also any advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks for reading

    and please no Beatles Lyrics my life is hard enough as it is -_- hahah

    we all get is Hey Jude blah blah blah

    You probably would be better asking a mod to move this to Personal/Relationship Issues rather than having it here in After Hours as you will get dubious , if any, advice...!


  • Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    As long as you're well spoken and well mannered I don't see an issue.
    If my, hypothetical, daughter came home with a dodgy character (be he black, white or asian) I'd be reaching for the ol' pump gun.
    But if he seemed like a really nice guy it wouldn't matter.

    In short, don't be a scumbag. Parents hate scumbags.


  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭[Deleted User]


    Roselm wrote: »
    You probably would be better asking a mod to move this to Personal/Relationship Issues rather than having it here in After Hours as you will get dubious , if any, advice...!

    He has gotten plenty of good responses, most After Hours posters know when to play nice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭Napper Hawkins


    Race/background/nationality I couldn't care less. But he can **** right off if he's religious, though even in that case it's none of my business either as long as she's happy.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,448 ✭✭✭crockholm


    I believe you may have asked this question before,using the same anecdotes and your writing style seems familiar,so,with that in mind op, what exactly are you looking for?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,780 ✭✭✭Frank Lee Midere


    crockholm wrote: »
    I believe you may have asked this question before,using the same anecdotes and your writing style seems familiar,so,with that in mind op, what exactly are you looking for?

    Advice about girls?


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  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭[Deleted User]


    This is the exact same thread you posted a year and a half ago, a copy and paste job in fact. That screams of trolling to me tbh. Don't do that.


This discussion has been closed.
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