Is there any hope?

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

So I met this guy while away on a work trip in the US. He was the first person I met when I arrived and we pretty much spent the full week that I was there together (when I wasn't in work meetings). He treated me really well and came out to the airport when I was leaving to see me off.

He is English and had been travelling around the US but is now back in the UK. We have been texting constantly since I returned home two months ago. We spent 4 days together on a random spur of the moment trip to Spain last month.

He is always telling me how much he likes me, has told his friends about me/showing them pictures etc. I really like him too, find him really nice, funny and attractive. He says he is not involved with any other girls.

I wonder is there any chance for this to develop considering the distance? He had planned to come see me in Ireland next weekend but now can't because of work. He works weekends, I work Monday to Friday so that also makes it difficult as it may be hard to find time when we are both free.

I have been offered an interview for a job that is located about an hour from where he lives, it seems like a really good opportunity but I think I am thinking too much about how great it would be living close to him. I worry about going for it in case I end up over there alone.

We are both mid-twenties. Any thoughts?

Lorna123

If you would like to take up this job offer I would take it based on a change being as good as a rest, but if your main reason to take the job is to be close to him, then that is risky, because this relationship may never develop into anything more. Did you tell him about the job offer and what was his reaction?

desbrook

Strangely I'm going to start with him - bear with me OP . Either he's genuine or he's not and has other women on the go . If he's the latter I sure he'll be very negative about the job so close . However if he is genuine don't expect him to rejoice . Even the most genuine guy in his positon will basically say it's up to you - and it is . He's not going to want the responbility of being the cause of you going all the way over there for things not to work out . Can you blame him ? There is no guarantee the relationship will work .

You've been offered an interview - no more . Do the interview , there's definitely nothing to lose about that . If you do get an offer decide based on whether or not you want the job - full stop .

LegacyUser

desbrook wrote: »

Strangely I'm going to start with him - bear with me OP . Either he's genuine or he's not and has other women on the go . If he's the latter I sure he'll be very negative about the job so close . However if he is genuine don't expect him to rejoice . Even the most genuine guy in his positon will basically say it's up to you - and it is . He's not going to want the responbility of being the cause of you going all the way over there for things not to work out . Can you blame him ? There is no guarantee the relationship will work .

You've been offered an interview - no more . Do the interview , there's definitely nothing to lose about that . If you do get an offer decide based on whether or not you want the job - full stop .

Thanks for the replies!

There has been no indication that he is not genuine. He has asked me to go to a wedding with him next month and I presume all of his friends/acquaintances will be at that.

I just feel like I could be reading into this whole thing too much. I wonder is it a waste of time continuing this constant texting etc. if we are going to find it hard to ever meet up, especially if I don't move there. It's basically a holiday romance that has kind of spiralled...

He didn't really react at all when I was talking about the job interview, nothing negative or positive. I suppose for reasons suggested by desbrook, he doesnt want to feel responsible for me...

CaraMay

I wasted a few years on a relationship.like that. It's very hard to make something Luke this work. I certainly would not up and move to be with him at this stage. You will get people telling you relationships like this can work. Of course then can but I suspect about 99% don't.

Go to the wedding and keep seeing him by all means but don't stop dating othets. Keep your options open.

Lorna123

I would have expected him to at least say that it would be great if you were living closer together. If he is not saying this then I would be wary. He may not want to feel responsible for you moving over but he could have said something like "I would love if we were living closer to one another but moving over here may not work out for you so think carefully before making any decisions, as I would not like if you came over here based on this relationship". If he is saying nothing about it I would think that the thought of it is making him feel uneasy. You going over to a wedding, while nice, means nothing except that he needed a partner and he thought you would be perfect. You could always just sit this one out, and maybe next year if you are still as close as ever then look for a job closer to him.