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I've lost interest in men since dumping him

  • 11-07-2013 8:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, regular poster but going incongnito here.

    Was going out with a great guy for two months last Autumn. Just dating but he was fantastic - everything was good and he really cared for me but I just didn't sense any spark at all and he was a bad kisser. I let him go. I has asked me back since but I had to move on but was gutted for weeks. I wish I felt differently because he is otherwise perfect.

    The difficulty now is that I have lost all interest in fellas since. Bar the chemistry he was the dream guy in every way and even hot guys are not gaining my interest. I just cannot be bothered and dont know whats wrong with me and what he has done to me.

    Maybe I feel more than I thought, or maybe nobody can reach what he has.

    I'm 34 and have had serious relationships but this was just dating.

    Any thoughts?


Comments

  • #2
    Idle Passerby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,130 ✭✭✭Idle Passerby


    My instinct would be that you have realised being with the wrong guy, no matter how 'perfect' he is on paper, is just not good enough.

    I don't think this guy has done anything to you or that you are still holding a candle to him unbeknownst to yourself. I think you've just set the bar higher. You want someone who ticks all the boxes, and why wouldn't you?

    Naturally, if your criteria has become more specific, you're not going to be falling for every pretty boy that crosses your path.


  • #3
    Katgurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭Katgurl


    i can kind of relate OP, I am a similar age and met a man a while ago - tall, handsome, extremely nice, hardworking, kind, respectful - the lot.

    The chemistry wasn't there (on either side I think) but it made me realise how much i would like to be with a man LIKE HIM (particularly the kind & respectful part) but where we were tearing each other's clothes off too. So Im not gonna consider some self-involved loser just because he sets my heartbeat racing. So as the previous poster said, the next guy has a huge amount to live up to. Finding him will be no small feat but definitely worth the effort.

    My other theory reading your OP was that you have declared him to be 'perfect'. He isn't, nobody is. But perhaps you've told yourself he is and now your inner voice is saying "he was perfect & you didn't want him, what's wrong with you?"

    I think in terms of what to do next - do nothing. You can't force it and if you're not interested in guys, you're not interested in guys. When the right one comes along you won't be able to stop yourself.


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