Perfect good regular life, crappy social life?

shane9689

My problem isnt passion or getting out there...ive tonnes of passion, i study music and i play music as my part-time job too, im going to start dance classes, ive started going to the gym regularly and im studying languages, i sometimes do language exchanges and i use couchsurfing as a way to travel and meet people ....i have a full life and im delighted with it!!

YET

my social life sucks balls at times
its constantly up and down...
I go to uni in a different city, and where i got to uni ive got semi-friends...im going to be moving in with some of them soon next year (last year in 1st complex's)
but none of them id call really close to be honest, just the type of people that come and go

when i go home for the summer (like now) i get kinda lonely....ive almost completely fallen out with all my old highschool friends (some started drugs, others changed, others i lost contact with unfortunately), i only meet them every now and again

so i have no one to really hang out with in my OWN City, its sad really. and as i said, i have a full life, its just im not very good at holding onto friends :l
I am sociable, i get along with people quite well, but i havent had a close friend in 2 years (bar my ex girlfriend whom i left a year ago)

at the moment im quite happy, i have a good life so i dont need anyone close to support me, but when **** gets tough (and thats life) i have no one to turn to anymore, only my family, im close to my family, my brother especially but hes 10 years older than me and has his own life to deal with

i cant wait to start the dance lessons, maybe ill get to know people there, but for the moment, im at home with my mom and dad, i work everynight playing music (paid), so i cant jump up and travel at the moment
i have no houseparties to go to, no real friends to hang out with here, and i just feel stuck :l
i have no one close to me (that lives in ireland, i do have 1 or 2 abroad, but theyre 1000 miles away fb and skype friends :l ) for the past year and its ****.

dunno, i felt like ranting this because its been on my mind for months now...do i just push people away? do i come off as needy? maybe? i mean ive improved my life drastically over the past year and i feel less and less needy and more independent as time passes yet i still fail to form close friendshipes with people that actually last long

maybe when i go back to college thing will get better with my new housemates (old ones were ok, loads of parties, but not really friends)

i want someone i can sit and chat with...a friend that goes beyond the next houseparty, if that makes sense?

Anyways, RANT OVER

thanks everyone in advance

Emme

OP, your life sounds good. If "social life" to you means going out to pubs, bars etc. then that's not the only definition of a social life. What you're doing now is very positive and well done getting rid of the druggy friends.

Try meetup.com - they have a wide range of groups with different activities and it's multicultural.

They have nights out, meals out and they do coffee afternoons on Saturdays and Sundays. Lots of people join for the same reasons you outlined above. Be patient, it takes time to make friends.