Want to try make friends with friends gf

afterglow

Hi everyone

Hope for some constructive advice here.
I want to try make friends with a gf of one of my friends, who is mail, but we have a bit of a history.
Myself and this friend, had a bit of a thing a few years ago, we're talking nearly 10 at this stage and it only lasted a few weeks, nothing really even happened sexually really, so nothing worth writing about but I mention it because it's relavant.
Myself and this girl who I want to now forge a friendship with, or try to at least, were friends once two, but one day we were all hanging out together when she obviously decided I'd outstayed my welcome and made my friend throw me out.
I would really like it if me and her could be civil. Today when I was somewhere where she was on her way to, I was really rushing to get out of the building so we would not run into each other. I'm sitting here thinking about it now and thinking really how ridiculous it is!!!!!
We are all adults and I would far prefer it if we could just get along and be civil rather than all this avoidance nonsense!!!!!
My question is, can this be done, or would I be wasting my time to even try?
Thanks in advance for any replies

The_Conductor

No matter how you approach this one- its going to seem 'wrong' on one level or another. You say you have history together, but not of consequence- perhaps she doesn't view it in the same way?

Getting her boyfriend to get rid of you- comes across as-

Clingy
Needy
Possessive
Aggressive
Vindictive?
or possibly even threatened?

Being there with your friend and his gf- marks you out as a gooseberry anyway........

In a situation such as this- I'd avoid the friend and his gf- unless it was in the company of others- and while I'd be friendly towards them, I'd be very hands off.

When they do eventually break up (and she does sound just a bit ott- so I'm saying when, rather than 'if') be there to pick up the pieces with your friend- and sympathise with him by all means- but whats in the past, stays in the past........

afterglow

Hi The_Conductor

Thanks for your reply.
The strange thing about this all though is that I have a bf myself, nearly 5 years together now. He knows about this friendship, and what happened in the past and he has absolutely no problems with us being friends at all. We would see each other quite often and he has absolutely no problem with it. I would just like to be able to be civil instead of making sure we don't run into each other all the time you know.
Thanks for your reply, appreciated

Big Bag of Chips

Well next time you see him/her/them instead of making sure you avoid them, why not just pass and say 'Hi', and keep going?

You are not suddenly going to become "besties", nor are you going to heal this by some big heart-to-heart. Just go about your business and be civil and acknowledge them if ever you see them.

By continuing to avoid them, you are never going change how things are.