Think I've reached the end of my tether

LegacyUser

Hey

Regular poster going unregged for this.

With my partner just shy of five years, and the past six months have been fairly hellish.

He's been under a lot of stress, and the outlet for his stress tends to be me in the form of criticism, directives about how we should live, and arguments.

He's two adult children whom he pampers endlessly and will hear no mention of criticism towards them, one at 22 is still getting pocket money.

That's an aside, recently in the past month, things have escalated. Usual "will we go out" discussions on a Friday have three times ended up with him telling me I am ruining his life as I have not made plans, and am not allowing him to relax as he wants, just cos I asked him if we could make plans to go out.

He refuses to make plans for anything, despite being together so long, we don't have one single picture of the two of us together.

These past six months, anytime I have made plans to do something together he has either "forgotten" or just refused to do it.

He will not plan for the future in any way either, no plans even for a holiday this year.

This evenings row occured as I had done some laundry earlier and left most of it in a basket in the utility room, and socks and a top I need for the morning in the hall on a table to take up with me.

This now apparently is unacceptable, and after shouting at me from the hall, he's now stormed out of the house in a huff.

He rarely if ever does any cleaning, yet gives out about mess that he makes and refuses to clean up

I've gotten to the point where recently at least four or five times a week I think life would be better if I just left, we are both in our forties, and I just can't see the point of this.

Am I mad to be thinking of moving on and having a future with plans even on my own?

CommanderC

Get out of there. You deserve much better than this.

Escape this and give yourself a chance to meet someone who will appreciate you.

LegacyUser

Thanks

I guess I'm tired, of five years of making plans and seeing them go nowhere, of making plans and being "blamed" for them not happening.

My OH needs to move on and become more certain of himself, and as this has not happened it's turned into him belittling me as that's all he could do to make himself feel better.

I found myself physically shrinking tonight when he started and I just don't need that.

It might take time, but I'll move on, the truly dreadful thing is that he will not talk to me ever.

December2012

Do you think he might be trying to get you to break up with him?

carolinespring

OP,

Pack your bags and walk out. You deserve so much more than a spoiled child that you have as a partner.

I wish you luck and love x

Pwpane

It sounds like he's ready to blow from all the pressure he's under.

I think you should encourage him to see his doctor.

Goldenlady

Its not too late to leave, you deserve to be treated better OP.5 years is a long time and if he seems to not be interested in making plans for the future on anything, then I thinky you know the answer yourself. Its not going to be easy, and there will be a lot of heart ache, but it will be worth it. Best of luck xx