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Depressed lonely and stuck in a rut I need to change my life but dont know how

  • 07-07-2013 10:19am
    #1
    queenofsteel1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23 ✭


    I am a 23 year old female and I am stuck in a rut. I am depressed and lonely. I also have anorexia and i am in counselling at the moment. But I have never felt so lonely. I dont have many friends, two to be exact, but they have their own lives. I feel like my best friend has gotten more distant lately even though he knows of my issues. We went away last week to London but then I didnt hear from him all week only yesterday for a 20 minute phone call.

    To be fair I am greatful I have a full time job, live at home with my family have a decent car so some may think I have it all. But I am just so depressed staying in all weekend watching movie online because I have no one to go anywhere with. I dont drink (part of my anorexia issues) and havent been out in a pub/club since april. I have a bf but hes not better. He doesnt trust me and is always questioning me like who am I on the phone to where are you who you with how do I know you not meeting anyone/doing this. Yesterday I just said in conversation I was wearing a dress and he said oh why do you have someone calling out to you. He treats me like I am a whore. And then he said in a fight maybe he should go to counselling so he can use "the cards im pulling". that hurt so much.

    I am really interested in going travelling for a month or two just get away from everyone and everything and discover a new lease of life. I really wanted to go to australia but am afraid of all that flying. Bottom line is I am depressed and so lonely I need to change my life wuick before the best years are gone but i dont know how


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Follow your dream and get away from this guy


  • #3
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    queenofsteel1 wrote: »
    I am a 23 year old female and I am stuck in a rut. I am depressed and lonely. I also have anorexia and i am in counselling at the moment. But I have never felt so lonely. I dont have many friends, two to be exact, but they have their own lives. I feel like my best friend has gotten more distant lately even though he knows of my issues. We went away last week to London but then I didnt hear from him all week only yesterday for a 20 minute phone call.

    Counselling isn't going to solve your problems overnight but it's great that you are going. Keep going to that.

    I remember your posts from last week and I'm not all that surprised that your friend from the trip to London is a bit distant. You mentioned that he had come out so that's an issue for him to deal with. He probably had his nose put out of joint a bit by you not wanting to go to Wimbledon with him and the issue with him going to the club. I'm sure that friendship will get over that wobble in time - stay in touch.
    To be fair I am greatful I have a full time job, live at home with my family have a decent car so some may think I have it all. But I am just so depressed staying in all weekend watching movie online because I have no one to go anywhere with. I dont drink (part of my anorexia issues) and havent been out in a pub/club since april.

    Being materially comfortable doesn't automatically mean you're happy. It's great that you have a job and that car but as you've found, it isn't "it all". You're lonely and there's no pill that can cure that. Reading what you wrote in the "London" posts, you don't sound like you enjoy going to pubs or clubs at the moment. When you feel up to it, why not have a look around and see are there other activities that'll get you out of the house and back meeting people. Believe it or not, there are people with active social lives out there who rarely go near pubs.
    I have a bf but hes not better. He doesnt trust me and is always questioning me like who am I on the phone to where are you who you with how do I know you not meeting anyone/doing this. Yesterday I just said in conversation I was wearing a dress and he said oh why do you have someone calling out to you. He treats me like I am a whore. And then he said in a fight maybe he should go to counselling so he can use "the cards im pulling". that hurt so much.

    Have you considered that your boyfriend may be dragging you down? You are in an emotionally abusive relationship by the looks of thigns. There are warning signs all over this paragraph. He's controlling, he's trying to make out that you're sleeping with other men, he treats you like a whore and is saying those spiteful things. Please talk to your counsellor about this as a matter of urgency.
    I am really interested in going travelling for a month or two just get away from everyone and everything and discover a new lease of life. I really wanted to go to Australia but am afraid of all that flying. Bottom line is I am depressed and so lonely I need to change my life quick before the best years are gone but i don't know how

    Running away from your problems isn't going to solve them. Your life is far from over and you can still go to Australia if that is what you want. In the short term though, I think you should take baby steps and solve your other issues first.


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