Seven year itch?

Ttanko

Hi all,

I'm interested in hearing from people who have been in long-term relationships. I've been with my boyfriend just over 7 years and we are happy together (although the sex is not great..).

Lately I've found myself really fancying other guys to the point of wishing I were single and feeling trapped by my relationship. I can get really obsessed by a guy who shows some interest but to date have been able to restrain myself. I feel guilty about all of this, of course, but also a bit sad that maybe I'm missing out on something (or someone else).

We're at the point of talking about having kids sometime over the next few years, which I really will have to think about. Part of me thinks it could be because the sex isn't great and my boyfriend isn't good at showing affection. So when another guy does it, I really respond.

How do you cope with this sort of situation? Any advice really appreciated.

Ttanko

Thanks sunflower27, I guess I asked the question half-knowing the answer myself.

leewarden

Take it from me, seven year itch is bullsh1t.
Seven year itch can happen after 2 years, 3 years, 15 years, anytime.

If the sex is not great that would not matter if everything else were ok.
If you are feeling trapped, that is a bad sign.

Ttanko

leewarden wrote: »

Take it from me, seven year itch is bullsh1t.
Seven year itch can happen after 2 years, 3 years, 15 years, anytime.

If the sex is not great that would not matter if everything else were ok.
If you are feeling trapped, that is a bad sign.

Yeah you're right. This also happened a few years ago when we were together 4 years. I got seriously close to cheating but managed to hold myself back. Then again, isn't almost cheating just as bad as cheating? At that time it was because I met a guy who was really funny - and my boyfriend is really sweet and caring but doesn't make me laugh.

I'm feeling a bit sick in my stomach about the whole thing. This time, the other guy isn't a real prospect at all - he lives in another country but I'm talking to him constantly on Facebook and feeling guilty about it. How can I be missing someone I only met 4 days ago??

Is this just me in denial about being in my 30s and having to settle down? Would this just happen with the next guy I settle down with? Life was a lot simpler in my 20s..

Speisekarte

Tricky situation OP.

I think you should discuss improving your sex life and assuming it does improve then see how that effects your desire to be with other men.

Are you sexually attracted to your boyfriend?

If not I think that makes your choice simple IMO, you've got to end it.

Ttanko

Speisekarte wrote: »

Tricky situation OP.

I think you should discuss improving your sex life and assuming it does improve then see how that effects your desire to be with other men.

Are you sexually attracted to your boyfriend?

If not I think that makes your choice simple IMO, you've got to end it.

Yes, I think you're right. Well, I'll give it a go on talking to him first. I don't want to throw away a relationship based on a bad patch.

Thanks all for the responses.