A lesson learned?

hurlsey

A friend of mine has recently started a relationship with a girl, when he met her she was engaged, hes now moved in and looking after her child!

I wont lie i never took to the girl, as far as Im concerned she saw my friend coming, hes an all or nothing type of lad who throws everything into a relationship!!

Now I've been approached by 2 separate people, telling me a) shes not a good person and b) she has less than desirable morals when it comes to the bedroom*

*Now I'm not a prude before anybody starts, people can do what they want behind closed doors except jump into bed with people they are related to, I gagged when I was told the stories!!

Im not sure how my friend would handle being pulled aside and im just wondering should i say anything? or leave him off and let him learn the hard way?

gumbo1

You don't have to tell him the ins and outs but you could just say t not get too "into" the relationship and f it does go wrong DON'T say "told ya so", be a mate!!!

blackbird98

I don't see how it should concern you to that extent.....everything you have heard may be just gossip / hearsay. What she does in the bedroom is nobody else's business After all, she did break an engagement to be with him.

hurlsey

blackbird98 wrote: »

I don't see how it should concern you to that extent.....everything you have heard may be just gossip / hearsay. What she does in the bedroom is nobody else's business After all, she did break an engagement to be with him.

Well hes been my friend over 20 years, I don't want to see him made a fool!! I will give you it could be gossip but you don't get two separate stories of incest without a hint of truth in it!! I have a feeling she broke an engagement to be with him and his income!!

RossFixxxed

hurlsey wrote: »

Well hes been my friend over 20 years, I don't want to see him made a fool!!

I more than understand what you are saying, but you will just get in the middle and become who they blame for any issues. I woudn't get dragged into it to be honest, be there if he needs you, but don't jump in.

I will give you it could be gossip but you don't get two separate stories of incest without a hint of truth in it!!

Sure you do. There could be anyone spreading rumours for their own gain. It's not a good idea diving into scandalous gossip without any context or proof.

I have a feeling she broke an engagement to be with him and his income!!

That's your own feeling, he's an adult let him make his own decisions. Be there as a support if things do go wrong, but anyting else will probably be seen as interfering and meddling tbh.

ibarelycare

I think you should mind your own business and not listen to gossip. If the girl isn't right for your friend, let him find out in his own good time. Don't go meddling in other people's relationships.

hurlsey

ibarelycare wrote: »

I think you should mind your own business and not listen to gossip. If the girl isn't right for your friend, let him find out in his own good time. Don't go meddling in other people's relationships.

Well i had thought i should say nothing but was unsure hence asking for advice! Im not looking to meddle, im looking to protect my friend of 20 years, its what friends do......
However it seems i should leave him to learn his lesson, i hope sooner rather than later!!

to the emboldened part
it is not the gossip why i have a problem with this girl, that did make it worse ill admit, the way they met, a one night stand while she was engaged, she was seeing him while still engaged, the speed with which she moved him in after breaking off her engagement, he seems to be a convenient babysitter and pays her to live with her.....

ivytwine

I'm going to assume you live in a small town because let me tell you this, 90% of stories you hear about single mothers in a small town are bull. Talking from experience here, there were the most ridiculous stories going around about my mother when I was a kid. We really haven't moved on in this country at all.

Anyhow, even if there is any truth to it, let him find out in his own time. I understand you're concerned about him, but he must make his own mistakes. He's probably already heard the rumours about her, and he won't thank you for repeating them.

I once expressed my reservations to a former friend of mine about someone he was into. Our friendship was on the way out anyway, but that was the last straw. I was proved right as it happens but he found it out in his own time, what I said made no difference and possibly dragged the thing out longer, he was mad to prove me wrong!

hurlsey

ivytwine wrote: »

I'm going to assume you live in a small town because let me tell you this, 90% of stories you hear about single mothers in a small town are bull. Talking from experience here, there were the most ridiculous stories going around about my mother when I was a kid. We really haven't moved on in this country at all.

Anyhow, even if there is any truth to it, let him find out in his own time. I understand you're concerned about him, but he must make his own mistakes. He's probably already heard the rumours about her, and he won't thank you for repeating them.

I once expressed my reservations to a former friend of mine about someone he was into. Our friendship was on the way out anyway, but that was the last straw. I was proved right as it happens but he found it out in his own time, what I said made no difference and possibly dragged the thing out longer, he was mad to prove me wrong!

Cheers for the advice, from your comments and the ones above ill bite my tongue........ Thanks lads!!